Boyfriend always put his family first

[Newi]

So I’ve been seeing this man for 8 months. I have a child from previous relationship and I work monday - Thursday. I usually go see him on Friday but cannot stay overnight because I have my Son. My ex is having him every other weekend from Saturday morning to Sunday evening. Previously my plan has been that I will be seeing my boyfriend those times. However, he says he needs to spend time with his family every weekend !!!! (His mom and sisters) and I get annoyed! I understand he has his family but does he really need to see them every weekend?! It’s been 8 months and we didn’t spend night Together yet. He keeps talking about having a family with me (he is 37 no kids), but how we supposed to do that When we can’t even spend night together. Any thoughts?

He's not that bothered about you. It's probably not personal to you, he sounds the type to avoid commitment and not really interested in a real relationship.

The relationship isn't working. You're incompatible.

Doesn't matter if how he chooses to spend his time is normal or not, what matters is that it doesn't work for you so you're incompatible.

You're focusing on whether it's acceptable or odd of him but that doesn't matter - you need to ask if his lifestyle choices are compatible with yours.

They aren't. So it's not a goer.

I think he’s seeing his other girlfriend at weekends. Have you been to his house? Or does he always come to yours?

Agree with pp, he may be seeing his 'main girl' at the weekend. I'd do some social media digging and see what cropped up.

Also, do you not find it creepy that a 8 month 'relationship' guy is talking about having a family with you? I think that would make my fanny clamp shut. Let alone the fact that he diesnt spend the night and talks shit like that.

What is any different this time round to the previous friends with benefits deal you previously had going? Apart from him dangling the potential of having kids in front of you. This doesn’t sound like a relationship and he doesn’t sound the least bit committed. Ditch and move on.

So its a friday afternoon delight kinda thing?..... then sling your hook?

Yeah, he's not interested otherwise he'd be making more of an effort

I'd find it pathetic if a 37 yo man wanted to spend every weekend with his mummy and sisters.

I'd have no respect from him whatsoever

He's not your BF 🌺

Sounds like he just doesn't want to see you, op. Sorry. I'd cut my losses and leave.

That’s a thing because we were friends with benefits years ago - He was always honest About us and the situation. Now few years later I actually asked just for Friday casual sex and he was All about how much he loves me (never said that years ago) etc and doesn’t even wanna hear about “sex only” ... but I can’t seem to move forward with us🤷🏻‍♀️ I see him only at his place ...(we both prefer it that way)

OP it's very mixed signals.. what he says.. is very different to what he does.. unfortunately

Why are you accepting such a sub-standard situation? This isn't a relationship, it's a setup that benefits him.

You haven't met his family and you only see him at his house, regardless of if it suits you or not. You haven't spent an actual night together which means that you have sex and leave.

Value yourself and have a conversation with him, if things don't change then walk away.

If you were the right woman and he felt he was batting above his weight he'd dump his mother and sisters like a sack of shit.
He just isn't that into you no matter what he says.
Words are easy.

You are his Friday booty call, and that's it. You are very firmly in the casual sex box, no matter what he says. Words are easy, actions show you who somebody really is.

Only 8 months in and already issues. He’s using you for one thing til something else better comes along. Dump him.

FWB is always going to end in tears. It doesn't even matter if he is seeing other women or spending the whole weekend with his family - he isn't prioritising you, the relationship was never going anywhere and he is using the love word to keep you dangling. You deserve more. Tell him you're done with being a Friday teatime booty call and see what happens.

It sounds 50/50 to me, you are not available for 4 days Mon to Thurs and he's not available for 2 days on Sat or sun, your need to work some middle ground, your son is obviously your priority and his family is his priority at the moment, I guess he is free during the week but you are not due to childcare?

@jimmyjammy001 I think it’s a big difference - I have nowhere To put my son - he can surely rearrange family meet up - or just miss a day. Btw I told him I can get a babysitter if we plan at least few days ahead during the week - but he never Chose a day..

OP there will be someone out there.. who cherishes you and will want to spend time with and your son... sadly its not this guy 🌺

You are being used.

He definitely has no longer term interest in you.

Don't waste any more time.