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Original poster

Will another man want my saggy mum tum 🙈

64 replies

Lora88 · 25/10/2020 22:16

Single after 11 years , I’m slim and I’ll dare to say I’m fairly attractive but I have a horrible belly , I’ve had 2 c sections and I also have a very spongey stomach covered in silver stretch marks it really is horrible , I’ve been a size 6 before but my belly is still awful. I didnt mind too much with my ex as I’d mothered his children but this is a totally different ball game. Has anyone managed to find a man ok with this after separating from father of your children ?

OP posts:
paintmywholehousecobweb · 25/10/2020 22:19

If he is worth your while he won't care OP x

stealthninjamummy · 25/10/2020 22:23

I’m mid 40s and exactly the same. Relatively slim but horrid stomach with stretch marks after two dc. After my ex moved out I didn’t think I’d find someone but honestly most men don’t care. I have a lovely boyfriend now who tells me I’m beautiful (I’m not!) whenever I see him and doesn’t seem to notice any of my imperfections.

CodenameVillanelle · 25/10/2020 22:25

Yes!!
My boyfriend cares not a bit about my saggy stretch marked tummy. His ex wife had his babies so he's hardly shocked at the sight of a maternal female body and a proper man enjoys the nice parts of getting naked with you - just like we ignore their saggy bums or beer bellies or whatever physical quirks they bring with them!

Firefliess · 25/10/2020 22:26

I have an awful looking belly after separated muscles caused badly stretched skin during pregnancy number 2 (and cesarean scar from DC1). It did worry me when I split with my ex and started dating again. But tbh it's never been a problem. I think that by the time a new partner was seeing that part of me, there were other parts of me more on his mindWinkBlush.
I've discussed it with now DH and he says it doesn't bother him at all. I still avoid bikinis but otherwise find it doesn't bother me either. Ironically it actually tends to look a bit less saggy when I gain a bit of weight.

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 25/10/2020 22:27

Find a partner who doesn't care. Who loves you for who YOU are. Find someone who loves your 'saggy tum' (your words not mine) because of the incredible gift it gave to the world.

happydivorcee · 25/10/2020 22:30

Honestly, I haven’t met a man who cared!

Anordinarymum · 25/10/2020 22:33

Well I have one as well caused by an ectopic pregnancy before I had children. When they sewed me up it created a horrible ridge and now my tummy rests on it :)

Your body has a history, and your tummy is part of that story and if another man does not like it then he is not worth having IMHO.

Justmuddlingalong · 25/10/2020 22:35

Mine looks like dough after you've proved it and knocked it back. 🤷‍♀️ My exDH was really cruel about it. DP loves me and my doughy belly.

Firefin · 25/10/2020 22:35

My partner explained it beautifully. He said when you look at a painting you see the whole thing and not the two or three brush strokes which are not perfectly in line. When a good man looks at you, he appreciates the whole thing and will not care about a few imperfections.

sosickofthisshit · 25/10/2020 22:36

Mine is the same. I'm 40, and a size 10, but have a baggy stomach due to a c-section and gaining and losing weight over the years, and my boyfriend doesn't care at all. Any decent man will understand that you've lived and birthed children and you're not going to have a stomach like a 20 year old supermodel

Tempnamelady · 25/10/2020 22:38

@firefin that is so lovely

BraveGoldie · 25/10/2020 22:41

My ExH acted like it didn't exist - never touched it when we were intimate - despite it being from hearing his child. It made me feel it was awful.

My DP loves and wants all of me. I will never forget when he went down on his knees to softly kiss my spongy, wrinkly tummy..... I had never felt such acceptance..... and knew then that he was a keeper! SmileSmile

Tempusfudgeit · 25/10/2020 22:42

Tom Conti: 'These are lines of life' Smile

Enough4me · 25/10/2020 22:44

I dated in my late 30s after being with exH for almost two decades. I worried about my lines and saggy bits, but then realised the men of my age group, and that I was attracted to, had aged too.

Your dates will probably hope that you don't notice bald spots, saggy skin, or whatever they feel have aged them a bit. They are all human too!

My partner is too busy enjoying himself when we are naked to worry about my imperfections and it works vice versa for me. Wrinkles and sags does not stop fun.

EarthSight · 26/10/2020 00:00

@Justmuddlingalong

Mine looks like dough after you've proved it and knocked it back. 🤷‍♀️ My exDH was really cruel about it. DP loves me and my doughy belly.
Hehe. Love that description. There is something faintly strange about a very lean, hard mum.
nancybotwinbloom · 26/10/2020 00:08

Yeah well show me all these fellas with perfect bodies WinkShock

I'm not bothered about mine it is what it is.

CaviarAndCigarettes · 26/10/2020 00:13

I really needed to read all of this tonight ❤️

NC249 · 26/10/2020 00:58

I feel the same to be honest. Had a c section two years ago and still have a saggy tummy. Also cut my hair very short after my break up as I wanted to try something different LOL big mistake as I hate having short hair now and have had to invest in a realistic wig! Hoping that I find someone who will be accept my short hair and belly!!

Rangoon · 26/10/2020 02:09

If it's ok to be saggy, then dont describe lean, hard mothers as strange. Some women are just naturally lean with good muscle tone if they play sports or go to the gym. Dont put other women down to make yourself feel better.

secretrugbyfan · 26/10/2020 05:10

Mrs SRF has a bad (in her view) overhang after two large babies and C-sections. She hates it, but I tell her constantly that's my favourite bit of her as it's where our children came from, and she did an amazing job for the first nine months of their lives.

I see her as pure beauty.....

Bbang · 26/10/2020 05:34

Honestly I used to feel like this about my c-section area and saggy boobs but honestly I’ve as of yet not met a man who seemed to care, remember they’ve aged too and most probably won’t have a ‘perfect’ body themselves.

AutumnShrubs · 26/10/2020 06:04

No.

I'm a size 10/12. I don't have stretch marks but I do have a small tummy which sits on top of my c section scar (which is now 14 years old and completely faded). It's not even an 'overhang' because it's not big enough to do so.

I've been mostly single since my relationship with my exh ended 8 years ago and, when ever I have tried to have a relationship, my mum body has been an issue every time.

The best I've found is that they were prepared to tolerate it whilst also making sure I knew they didn't find it attractive.

I haven't found 'confidence' to work either. Perhaps I need to be honest about my insecurities but I don't like the thought of giving someone else that power over me.

Gardenerboo · 26/10/2020 06:05

Well said @Rangoon I was thinking the same but you put it into words better than I could!

AutumnShrubs · 26/10/2020 06:06

@secretrugbyfan

Your wife is very lucky woman Flowers

AutumnShrubs · 26/10/2020 06:06

Rangoon

Well said.