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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Broke up with dp today as he accused me of lying about phone network

49 replies

nittynorah · 14/10/2007 20:26

I went to a family wedding yesterday so my phone was off/on silent for a good part of the day. DP couldn't make it so he was texting me. Where I was sitting in the house, I couldn't actually send texts - no network so every now and then I nipped into the loo which seemed to get phone reception to check and to text back. Needless to say, the texts began to pile up in the ether quicker than I could get them. Upshot was, dp accused me of lying since he'd also apparently rang my phone 2 or 3 times but it didn't ring at my end or leave a 'missed call' message.

Fast forward to today and a bitter row on Facebook since he kept on accusing me of being too drunk to bother and have not havig answered one question . Having back through the texts, I was able to find the one he was referring to, so I fired off all the replies I'd sent yesterday again. In the end, I actually emailed Vodafone to ask about the network in the place I was in and also found the network coverage on their website which I forwarded to him. He still maintains that it's meaningless and he 'wants to test my phone' but he's not prepeared to travel to where I was - he wants to 'test it' where he lives! Which is 200 miles away so it seems a pretty useless 'test' to me if he's not going to do where the problem occurred.

What peeves me is that he kept accusing me of lying about the network even when a mutual friend stepped in to point out that mobile networks aren't infallible, calls do get dropped, texts can be delayed etc and also that he expected me to keep leaving a reception to get these texts when I didn't even know he'd sent them. Fair do's I expected a few throughout the day but I can't be expected to have a 100% non-falliable phone. Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

anyway rant over but I feel really hurt by all this. He has now begudgingly admitted that he 'may be wrong' about the network but he still wants to 'test my phone' so of course I told him where to go. Or AIBU??

OP posts:
spookthief · 14/10/2007 20:28

Sorry if this seems blunt, but is your ex-dp 12?

LadyVictoriaOfCake · 14/10/2007 20:28

why the hell does he want to tes your phone?

do you have to be contaxctable all the time?

CappuScreamO · 14/10/2007 20:29

now I have read the OP I think my head is going to explode

foofi · 14/10/2007 20:30

Sounds completely mad. Think you are doing the right thing.

nittynorah · 14/10/2007 20:31

He's actually 36 .

OP posts:
saltire · 14/10/2007 20:32

So, you went to a wedding and your DP didn't,but he kept texting you, several times during the day. Why?
If he knew you were at a wedding. Would it not have been very rude to have your phone going off during the ceremony, fair enough a couple of texts, why so many though
Also could you not speak to him on the phone? Why have the argument on facebook? Surely it would have been much easier to actually speak to each other?

Moomin · 14/10/2007 20:32

Sorry if this sounds harsh but if your dp prefers to conduct a relationship and or arguments through texts and facebook like (as spookthief said) a 12 year old rather than an adult, it doesn't really sound very promising. He sounds controlling and immature. Sorry but he does.

Budababe · 14/10/2007 20:33

You are well, well, well rid. He wants to have you at beck and call whenever. He wants to control you.

themoon66 · 14/10/2007 20:33

What are you doing with this bloke? Give him up. You will have years of grief off him. He sounds twatish.

stripeymama · 14/10/2007 20:34

What??

Er, you are being more reasonable than I would be. That is appalling controlling possessive and childish behaviour from him. Sorry but honestly...

fuzzywuzzy · 14/10/2007 20:34

Vodafone are completely crap, I have unfortunately got a vodafone tarrif and I'm stuck with it for a year, I lose netwrok coverage if I wlak from one end of the room to the other.

Tell him to get a vodafone chip and test away, it's a crap netwrok, I need to wave my phone outside the window to send text messages...never ever had this problem with orange, or 3

PeachyFleshCrawlingWithBugs · 14/10/2007 20:34

He's barmy, sorry but he is- but the constant contact scares me mroe than the network thing 9which in itself is strange enough...)

Dh and I used to talk every day when we were dating and that was intense enough, this is rather stalkerish (does he want to check you phone book I wander to keep tabs on you? Why else would he want the phone?)

charlieandlola · 14/10/2007 20:35

I would try and find an adult to have a relationship with - 36 yo arguing via Facebook ???

PeachyFleshCrawlingWithBugs · 14/10/2007 20:35

(we ahd trouble with Vodafone BUT they did donate 2.3 million to the National Autistic Society last year so are back in my good books atm....)

nittynorah · 14/10/2007 20:44

He didn't believe me when I said that the calls didn't show up on the phone and accused me of being too drunk to care about him. Tbh if he'd rung me today, I would have probably lobbed the phone at the wall in place of punching him in the mouth in person - much as I actually dislike violence normally.

OP posts:
Dior · 14/10/2007 20:52

Message withdrawn

pigletmaker · 14/10/2007 20:54

are you both quite young? the facebook as a place to have a row seems quite odd, otherwise (no disrespect!!!)

controlfreaky2 · 14/10/2007 21:00

am and at both of you tbh.

nittynorah · 14/10/2007 21:02

I started the row by sending a sarky/nasty email to him on there to the effect he needn't email me anymore since he didn't believe me but I must admit I am ashamed it escalated to the extent it did on there.

I'm still peeved at being called a liar and being expected to prioritise blooming texts over a family wedding though .

OP posts:
ComeOVeneer · 14/10/2007 21:02

Why on earth did he need to be able to get hold of you frequently throughout the day? And did you join MN just to post this?

nittynorah · 14/10/2007 21:06

No, I'm another namechanger but I wanted to have quick rant in relative anonymity.

He had no real need to keep in touch with me - I was going to ring him anyway at some point (and did around 9pm but got voicemail) but there was no real need for a barrage of texts. Some are only seconds apart.

OP posts:
Moomin · 14/10/2007 21:09

How long have you been seeing him? He sounds like a loser. Does he have a track record for this kind of thing? Run as fast as you can in the other direction. Don't look back!

NAB3 · 14/10/2007 21:09

control freak...........

UlySCREAMS · 14/10/2007 21:10

Does he live a long way from you? Just wondering about Facebook?

Dior · 14/10/2007 21:10

Message withdrawn