Made to feel like a pervert

[RejectedAgain]

Can anyone explain why men stop wanting sex? And then make the woman feel bad for wanting it?

I was rejected again last night by my husband. All I did was kiss him in bed and smooth his back. He responded with a very curt "no" then rolled over and went to sleep.

I tried to discuss it this morning. He said he doesn't want sex and called me a pervert for wanting to have sex and says I always pester him (I haven't asked for weeks and even when I try it on it's only a kiss and if he says no I accept it). He's been rejecting me for 6 months now.

Usually I'd assume affair but he's been WFH as have I, so no chance of that being the case. Other than having to work from home nothing has changed in our lives so I can't understand why he's being like this.

I honestly don't feel like a pervert for wanting sex with my own husband ffs and now don't know what to do! Take him to a doctor? A therapist? A divorce lawyer?

As for surely you'd know if he was watching it in your house ? No you 100 percent woundnt. I didn't have a clue until he checked my ex's phone turned out he had a pretty big addiction to it .

I don't think someone so averse to the suggestion of light bondage would be watching porn so much it puts them off of their wife.

The two of you need couples counselling. If he refuses to go then it’s clear he’s not bothered about your relationship anymore, you then have a decision to make.

Other than having to work from home nothing has changed in our lives so I can't understand why he's being like this.

Some people go off the boil with too much familiarity as it's the sense of mystery that turns them on. You might be best looking after yourself and taking on some activities you want to do and see if he improves later

Wow. Ok. Your update makes things a little clearer.

It all changed with lockdown. And he put on a lot of weight too.
These are your clues to what’s going on.
It is hard enough to be in lockdown for everyone really.

I think in general - if you only had one life long sexual partner for 18 years - I can see how it can make it harder to maintain a steady level of interest in sex with the same person. And lockdown must have made it even harder.
And he must be stressed or depressed - that weight gain is a clear indication. And testosterone level must be affected.

What does it mean and what can be done - is still the same. You can’t force him to do anything unless he wants to. If I were you - I’d back off completely and gave him some time. Use your vibrator, use porn, do whatever you do to get through it and see if he regains interest. Which he might or might not.
Then you can decide what to do.
You are too young to live celebrate in the long term.

He’s allowed to say no but he doesn’t have to be such a cruel twat about it. That’s what I’d be most upset about.