My fiancé arranged a hook up

[Kirsty2101]

I’ve been with my partner for 4 years. We have a beautiful baby together and until yesterday I thought we had it pretty good. He is the love of my life and I can’t imagine being without him. So yesterday I received a message from a girl on Facebook. She basically sent me screenshots of a conversation she’d been having with my fella over 2-3 days. I won’t get into the sordid details but it basically consisted of sexual comments, explicit pictures and he’d sent her a video of himself masturbating. The worst thing is he’d arranged for her to go to his work at his dinner break, told her the exact address, the car park where his car is and arranged to have sex there. He gave her his number and asked her if she had any drugs on her. He knows I’m massively anti drugs, he told her he does coke and weed at work regularly. I feel like my life has been torn apart. He swore he’d never cheat on me. When I confronted him he claimed he knew it was a joke, knew she wouldn’t turn up and was just playing along.sid he doesn’t do drugs he was just saying it as she did. He turned it on me and said I shouldn’t believe a stranger over him. She then told him she’d found my profile on Facebook and knew he wasn’t single. He denied it then eventually begged her not to tell me, he’d do anything. I asked to look at his phone if he’s nothing to hide, he refused and said I should trust his word. He left then. Not a sorry, nothing. I’m completely devastated and don’t know what to do. I never thought he’d do anything like this

@Kirsty2101

Thank you everyone for your replies. I guess you’ve all confirmed what I knew already. I’ve never been in a position where I’m questioning myself on something like this. I realise I’ve been manipulated for that long I’d doubted what I knew was the truth. I don’t have friends to talk to and don’t really have that kind of relationship with my family. I’m terrified of being alone again tbh. Thinking on it now there have been signs he was upto something for a while, I’d just turned a blind eye out of stupidness, gullibility, whatever you want to call it. I have no idea how I’m going to manage on my own. Things like getting to work, paying bills, being lonely etc I’m scared to death. I’m already in massive debt. I’ve just gotten over a really bad period of post natal depression and I’m scared this is going to set that off again. But I know it’s over there’s absolutely no going back from this. He’s not tried to come back yet but he’s been messaging today continuing to lie and deny it all, saying things like “can’t you see I was being set up?” “I’d never cheat on you” etc etc. I’ve no self esteem or self respect but even I know nobody should be treated like this. Thank you again all for taking the time to reply. Sometimes I think having strangers perspective helps, especially when you’re being told over and over that it’s me making the problem

Ok put this into bite sized pieces.

You work, you will be able to pay your essential bills.

There are many debt advice services. Seek one out and establish a repayment plan. It may take time but you can get help.

Use this time to get yourself in a stronger position financially and hopefully being in control will bring your confidence back and you won't spiral again.

He needs to contribute to the baby as well.

Is being alone with your beautiful baby harder than being head-fucked by him?

Look forward, can you do extra study in the evening to progress at work in time?

Take it one step at a time. You will thrive without him, quicker and greater than with him. Stay positive, fill your time with self-improvement, you are just starting off, it's clean slate time. I wish you all the best for your future, make it a bright one and don't let him drag you down.