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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Newly single at 27 with two kids

36 replies

Cw2307 · 21/10/2020 20:00

I'm feeling really low right now and would like to hear other people's experiences in being successful in love at a later age with 2 kids from previous relationships.

Right now I feel like that's it for me.. I'll never find love and am destined to be alone

OP posts:
Sunnydaysstillhere · 21/10/2020 20:01

Later age??
27??
Grin

Original poster
Cw2307 · 21/10/2020 20:13

@Sunnydaysstillhere

Later age?? 27?? Grin
Sorry I'm unsure what you mean by that x
OP posts:
Hesfamousforit · 21/10/2020 20:15

It means you are still a spring chicken!

RedShark · 21/10/2020 20:18

It could be worse, you could be me, divorced with 2 kids at 25 😉
I was hung up a lot going from a ‘mrs’ and being deemed as respectable by society to suddenly having ‘divorced single parent’ as my main tag.
Once I let go of that and remembered that I had two incredible children all to myself, a great job and a lovely safe home, nothing else seemed to really matter. I’m 7 months in now and I would really just say take pleasure in the small moments and don’t get hung up on the big picture. Enjoy your kids, make time for yourself and know that we’re both young enough for love to come along again x

BowowMttt · 21/10/2020 20:31

27 is incredibly young OP! You’ve got a whole life time ahead of you!

WellQualifiedToRepresentTheLBC · 21/10/2020 20:36

??? I was single at 31, with a child! I considered myself young at that time.

OP I am sorry you are probably in pain and worried for the future, but let me assure you, you're going to be fine, honestly you are.

Stormyisland · 21/10/2020 20:47

Just came across a thread that had plenty of women talking about how they've found new love in their forties. Sounded like they were having the best time of their lives. You're so young it really won't be difficult for you to find a new partner. I'm sure you'll find happiness again.

NotaCoolMum · 21/10/2020 20:55

I PROMISE this is nowhere near the end for you! X

Givemeabreak88 · 21/10/2020 21:02

Gosh 27?! I’m 32 and single with 4 I wouldn’t be worried at 27. Kind of worried now at 32. But you’ve still got plenty of time

widespreadpanic · 21/10/2020 21:23

I’m 50 so I must be ancient 😂

27 is young! It’s much easier to start over in your 20s and 30s.

DustyLoafer · 21/10/2020 21:42

How long have you been single?

I wouldn't even be thinking about getting into another relationship without a decent gap. Having a partner is not the be all and end all.

I had some of my best years as a single mum.

Original poster
Cw2307 · 21/10/2020 22:13

We split up a few months ago and he came back to work things out but they didn't work.. Both felt it. So it has been finalised and ended in the last few weeks. I just can't help but look to the future and worry that there's not going to be any romantic happiness for me

OP posts:
jimmyjammy001 · 21/10/2020 23:56

You say previous relationships, so I'm assuming 2 different Dad's?
I'm not going to lie but blokes in their 20's are probably going to want to go after girls who have not allready been through that stage in life and there are probably quite alot of females in their 20s without kids, you will doubt get lots of storys from other posters about hoe 10-15 years ago they met someone and ended up having a good life, but those storys in my opinion are very few and far between and don't want to give you false hope, sure there might be a bloke out there who would be happy in such a relationship but it will be alot harder to find them in my opinion.

Original poster
Cw2307 · 22/10/2020 11:27

This is exactly why I feel like I'm going to be alone forever 😭

OP posts:
NoBloodyFighting · 22/10/2020 11:38

I would take jimmyjammy post with a big pinch of salt OP, I'm a similar age/stage to you and have had no trouble finding potential partners. Of course you have to be upfront about your priority being your children, and sensible about introducing them to new people, but it certainly doesn't 'put most men off'. Frankly if it did, I'd know they weren't the kind of man I'm looking for anyway ie an adult with some maturity. It's early days for you and feeling that hopelessness is a sad part of the healing but as you adjust to your new circumstances you will start to feel brighter about the future and realise you have time, and a wealth of experience, on your side. Please look after yourself and your dc for now Flowers the rest will come!

Chocolatehobnob9 · 22/10/2020 11:42

I'm 35 and recently a single parent.. And honestly... I love it. I love my own company, I can eat what I want, talk to who I want, do what I want, wear what I want.. I seldom feel lonely as I work full time and my LO keeps me busy. Honestly you will get to a point where you love it and find your own little routine. I'm cherishing this time alone with my LO. X

Original poster
Cw2307 · 22/10/2020 14:40

Thankyou for your words. I'm just praying that this feeling goes away soon. I can't eat, can't sleep, I'm constantly looking ahead to future and getting really down about it x

OP posts:
seensome · 22/10/2020 14:48

The first few weeks are hard, I don't think I ate very much for 3 weeks and lost a lot of weight. @Chocolatehobnob9 is right though, the best thing about being single is you can please yourself. Be selfish and put yourself first apart from your DC of course.
There will be plenty of men that aren't put off by children when you're ready to date.

Chocolatehobnob9 · 22/10/2020 14:49

You will get there.. Promise you. Don't feel bad for feeling down. You've had a major life change and you're adjusting. Just give yourself time x

SVRT19674 · 22/10/2020 15:10

Later age? 27? Laugh of the day, in the best way...give yourself some time to adjust to single life with kids first. This mania for jumping out of one relationship and into the next or else you´re a failure. Enjoy your own company first, once that happens the rest will come on its own.
Signed: ancient 46 year old.

namechangeforfriday · 22/10/2020 15:14

Ok firstly you’re not old. Secondly yes some men will be put off by the kids, others won’t. Thirdly, does it matter if you don’t find another relationship? There’s nothing wrong with being single and relishing the freedom. A relationship shouldn’t be a necessity in life. Get to a point where you love your life exactly as it is, then think about dating

Original poster
Cw2307 · 22/10/2020 17:15

I suppose its because Im not used to being on my own really..i suppose I like the company, having someone to hold.. Someone to share a life with and all the rest of it. I'm not sure why I'm like this I just am.

OP posts:
namechangeforfriday · 22/10/2020 19:28

All those things are nice but they should be a bonus addition to the life you already have, not something you need to fill an emotional hole. That way lies codependency. This is a perfect opportunity to get used to being on your own and enjoy jt

Original poster
Cw2307 · 22/10/2020 20:01

I know I think I'm just at a stage where I feel like I wont cope being on my own.

OP posts:
mummy412 · 22/10/2020 20:33

I'm single with 2 kids from 2 different relationships so definitely can't have shy more children lol because I know what everyone will say and think.

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