Newly single at 27 with two kids

[Cw2307]

I'm feeling really low right now and would like to hear other people's experiences in being successful in love at a later age with 2 kids from previous relationships.

Right now I feel like that's it for me.. I'll never find love and am destined to be alone

Oh and I'm 28 🙄

Do you ever get lonely or worry about not meeting anyone ever again?

@Cw2307

I know I think I'm just at a stage where I feel like I wont cope being on my own.

Well, personally, I don’t think this is a very healthy way to feel. Understandably you’re upset and shocked and disorientated by the break up but perhaps counselling might help you explore the feelings around coping on your own and why you feel you can’t?

I don’t know if your question was directed at me but no, although I’m sort of seeing someone at the moment it’s very early days and the idea of it fizzling out or being single long term does not worry me at all. I’m 31, for context.

I know I think I'm just at a stage where I feel like I wont cope being on my own.

I agree that this isn't healthy at all. Wanting a relationship is absolutely fine, but you need to be able to cope on your own, as it helps you become resilient...and so it doesn't seem like your entire world has crumbled because a relationship has ended.

I wasn't even married at your age, so you feeling like you won't find someone to be with in the future is quite worrying.

Why do you feel like this?

What role model relationships did you see when you were younger?

If you carry this desperation for a relationship and have a fear of being alone, you'll attract the wrong person.

I fully understand you don't want to be single for life (neither would I)....but it's your fear of not coping that's troubling and unhealthy.

Hey OP - the fact my partner was a mother of two when I met her wasn't an issue to me at all. I love my two SDs very much and we've added a third.

But she was comfortable with herself when I met her. She believed in herself. That was important. She wanted me for who I am, rather than needing me just so she could be in a relationship, if that makes sense? If I hadn't been the right fit for her, and eventually the family as a whole, she wouldn't have taken it further just to 'be with someone.'

I think if you can get to the point of realising you don't actually need a man, you're more likely to find one worth having :)

@Cw2307 yeah because it's not good to have 3 kids with 3 people so even if I do meet someone else I won't be having any more children

@Cw2307 I was you- single at 27 and remarried by 29! Never thought that would happen at all- I was fully expecting to be single til I was 40 odd.
Happily married now for 13 years!!

OP, at 27 there is no way on earth you've lost your chance to do anything at all except maybe win the under-16 gymnastics championships. You may have a better chance among men who are in a similar life stage to you, and that MAY mean it's worth looking at men who are a little older (not excessively), but no way on earth are you washed up with no chances. You surely know plenty of people older than you who had new relationships after divorce or bereavement, and if you don't, I do.

But take time to heal first.

I know that society expects us to couple up and conform but as a 49 year old single mum of an 11DD I think the best gift you can give yourself is one of independence.

Getting comfortable on your own, being financially independent and focusing on you and your kids. Turning feeling lonely when the kids are in bed to your time to focus on the things you want to do.

I remained single for a long time through choice because by the time I'd worked on how to be happy being a single parent and got financially stable it made me way more fussy about who I chose as a partner.

And yes I did find a new partner. So please don't put yourself under pressure, just find a way to be happy now.

Thanks guys feel a lot better after reading your messages, praying this feeling passes and I can move on from this.

Thanks guys feel a lot better after reading your messages, praying this feeling passes and I can move on from this.