Kiss of death

[KissofDeathCovidBreath]

The more I think about this the more annoyed I am getting. Just going to spill it and get it off my chest.

My BF of 4 years and I don't live together, although we are looking at moving in together in 2 years, and relocating 250 miles at the same time.

Because of covid we have bubbled up and he had been staying at mine quite a lot. I have 3 children, he has none.

Over the weekend he started to feel unwell, did the symptom checker on the app and it said unlikely to be covid. I kept him dosed up on cold and flu tablets and generally looked after him.

Yesterday he gets a phone call from his boss saying one of his colleagues has a positive covid test and so he needs to have a test. So off he goes for his test. He speaks to the colleague in question and his symptoms are identical.

So the part that had annoyed me is that he keeps kissing me. Even after telling me that he had identical symptoms to the covid positive colleauge. I have asked him several times not to but he thinks it is some kind of joke.

I have pulled him up and told him I am really really annoyed with him and he said he is sure he doesn't have corona and I am over reacting.

My point is it doesn't matter if he has corona or flu or chicken pox or Ebola. The point is that he is ill, and I don't want to be ill, covid or not! He can just laze around being waited on but I have 3 children to look after. The world doesn't stop just because mum gets ill.

So if he gets a negative test like he is convinced he will, he will swan off to work and I will be left feeling ill managing 3 children and working from home.

Plus I assume that if he gets a negative test and I then get symptoms, me and the children will have to carry on isolating until I get a negative test?

Anyway he thinks I am over reacting but I think he is absolutely stupid, selfish and inconsiderate.

I have sent him off to isolate at home. Would you be furious too?

He has been moaning how dreadful he feels all weekend, why would you want to share that to someone you supposedly love! I just don't get where he is coming from at all.

Super basic article for the hard of thinking, which he obviously is

www.google.com.au/amp/s/theconversation.com/amp/got-someone-with-coronavirus-at-home-heres-how-to-keep-the-rest-of-the-household-infection-free-144114

What a jerk! I would be so bloody livid! Totally incapable of accepting liability here.

Even if he wasn’t ill, his refusal to respect your boundaries is a massive issue that you should take very seriously.

The covid is not the point.

The point is you’ve asked him not to kiss you, but he thinks he has the right to kiss you against your wishes.

I wouldn’t find this acceptable - and if he can’t understand why this is not okay, then you have a problem.

Sorry OP but he sounds like such a prick I cannot understand why you aren't seriously considering ending it? He's been totally out of order - he's brazenly ignored your wishes (re kissing) and continued to overstep your clear boundaries in doing so, he's put you and your children at risk, he blamed his symptoms on you at first, he wanted attention and looking after when he was sick more than he wanted you and the kids to be well AND he hasn't apologised!

Seriously, surely it's over?!

Viral load plays a huge part in how sick you get from Covid. From what I have seen, its the second person in the household that gets it worse. This is because the first person (who got it in passing so a low v load) then went home and breathed all over them and subjected them to a huge viral load. So yes he is a dangerous idiot and I hope you going to be ok.

To be honest I am considering ending it over this. Just not jumping to a quick decision. I was furious in the first place and I haven't calmed down any.

Stop considering it. Just do it. He really doesn't seem to consider you to be an independent individual. More an accessory to his life.

Not the sexiest of attitudes!

I started feeling truly dreadful yesterday afternoon, managed to book a test very easily. I literally had a choice of slots from as little as an hour and all 5 min drive from my house.

So I have been tested. I have a headache, my body aches (could be down to stress and the aches to doing weights but that was Monday) and I fell heavy you know when you have a bad cold and you feel so tired you feel heavy?

I have took the kettle and some food to my room, using a separate bathroom, if I come out of the room I wear a mask and give the kids advance warning so they are not near me. Hand sanitizer every time I leave my room. Using kitchen roll to touch the tap or cupboards and the binning it straight away. Elbows to open doors. Wipes for everything. Bedroom windows open.

Can you think of anything else I should be doing to protect the kids?

The older two are capable of cooking simple things and I can order them a takeaway and then they just have to answer the door.

Youngest DS was sick in the night, he is the most likely to have caught anything from me already. I think upset stomach is a common symptom in children?

He seems fine in himself now though just watching tv in his room doesn't feel ill or anything. Poor baby has stripped his own bed. Not sure how we are going to handle making it again but I will figure something out. Might have to have a sleeping back for a bit. Don't want the older two going into his room incase he has covid?

Hopefully my test will come back negative and we just have another bug 🤞🏼

💐 and very best wishes to you OP

Hope you Feel better soon

Oh you poor thing OP. You sound like you are doing everything properly. I hope you feel a lot better soon. Dump that twat though.

To be fair, it doesn't sound like Covid symptoms so hopefully you don't have it. Only around 5% of people tested come back positive.

Either way, hope you feel better soon!

Thanks I am pinning my hopes on just having a random bug and it being a coincidence. I don't feel so bad today, just generally a bit unwell and worn out so could well come back negative.

His results came back in 38 hours from the same facility so I am hoping mine will be some time tomorrow. There was only one other person there when I was so hoping our area isn't too overwhelmed.

Let us know how you get on so I can berate him even more

Thanks will do.

I haven't dumped him yet (in case he dies or gets seriously ill) but he hasn't asked me if me or the kids are showing any symptoms or anything! He send the generic hi how are you? Text but that's the same text he would send anyway. Not once has he asked if he has passed anything on.

You must feel really loved and cherished... like he places you first in his life, and nurtures you. What a guy!

My DH, DS, girlfriend & I all got Covid - my Grandson (age 1) was been fine - despite me sitting with him for an hour in his playpen playing when I would have been infectious! Hope you soon feel better x

He sounds a right selfish dick and liability.

I would seriously consider if you actually need a dismissive entitled prick in your life.

Ye gods!

If your test comes back positive I hope you can then set aside your desire to be nice and totally flip out on him!

Fingers crossed for

a) your test being properly negative
b) your DS feeling better
c) You flipping out on Mr Selfish anyway!

He's stupid, heartless and completely selfish.

Result is back - positive.

I told him I was positive and he said oh that's a shame hope you feel better soon.

So I said well I wouldn't be ill if it weren't for you. Yes I may have got it anyway but you made damn sure if it didn't you.

He replied

Shut up.

What a selfish, arrogant, entitled wanker. I'm furious for you OP

Dump the selfish fucker!

OP, he clearly has no respect for you to reply like that. Hope you feel better soon, and that it doesn't spread round your DC.

I would just end it now. Say the relationship is over and ask him not to message you again. His behaviour is vile and abusive, covid or not. Shame it ended so badly but even just not respecting your boundaries is bad enough! As he's out of house now, it's a good time to make sure he doesn't come back.