Ex-husbands texts - am I being petty?

[BertandErnie1]

I’m not sure if I’m being over dramatic to be upset about this and was wondering if anyone has faced a similar situation.
My husband left me about a year ago. It was out of the blue and surprise surprise around a month later he had a new gf.
We have two children together so I stay on good terms because of them. I bite my lip a lot and try to pick my battles. I would never want or have him back . What he’s done to me is unforgivable.
Anyway, he’ll text away about various things (the kids, things still in joint names that we are sorting out, his family sometimes). He’s always on his phone and generally has a chatty tone. Until he’s with his gf (I’m assuming), when he ignores texts and gives completely minimal answers.
I’m not sure why I find it so upsetting. It feels really insulting but maybe I’m over-reacting.
It really does bother me though.

I’ve really struggled with a lot of what’s happened and just feel like a year down the line I should be further on, and things like texts shouldn’t bother me.

How do others manage to move on and let these things wash over them?

I would get focused on trying to piss him off as PP have said. You're still then getting sucked in to how he feels. Be detached and focus on you - communication only via email unless very urgent. Don't be afraid to tell him your separated now and this is how you'd like to proceed. He's not your friend.

*wouldnt!

If there's something you need to do, that happens to piss him off, then do it. Take the pissing him off as a bonus, just don#t do whatever it is with the aim of pissing him off. Otherwise, be neutral, civil, and keep all conversation to the topics of kids and divorce.

He's forfeited the right to expect you to be chatty and cheerful.

Don't focus on what makes him upset, but on what stops you from being upset.

He wasn't worried about your feelings when he left you for another woman, was he? You need to worry about you.

What makes you feel better in the short-term (e.g. chatting to him), may lead to more upset in the long-term (when he callously rejects you again because his OW is there). You need to find your equilibrium, and that may require you to be a little cooler with him. But you're allowed to put some armour around you to protect yourself from getting hurt.

You are all a fab help.
@LannieDuck you are right - focus on what stops me being upset.

I seriously do worry about how I’ve ended up this way! I’m not like it in work at all and I’m very forthright and I’m not scared of making sure I put my opinion across.

@PostItJoyWeek @netstaller I can feel little devil horns growing as we speak 😆 but you are right also , I need to get used to pissing him off - desensitise myself to it.

My feelings do get trampled on all the time with him, but I’ve allowed it. My barriers have been down , I’ve been to chatty / friendly and that’s allowed it to happen. I know now I can change this.