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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

People who don't live with partners - are you seeing each other during lockdown?

73 replies

Eesha · 18/10/2020 11:23

Just wondering. We are Tier 2 so can't see each other indoors and not anticipating this changing for a long time. What are others doing?

OP posts:
safeordangerous · 18/10/2020 11:41

Same situation. Can only meet out doors as tier 2.
We started dating (first date) July and ahem DTD a couple of times recently pre the recent changes.

Could be a long few months climbing the walls....

Bunnymumy · 18/10/2020 11:50

Weekend away to somewhere that is not tier 2 once per month or so?

CoffeeTableCandle · 18/10/2020 12:03

Aren't you in a support bubble?

I was in a support bubble with my boyfriend until I dumped him for being an arse.

We would still have been allowed to see each other I each other's home.

Cantmakeupmind · 18/10/2020 12:04

Shoot me but if I was in this situation, I’d still see my partner.

Original poster
Eesha · 18/10/2020 12:05

@CoffeeTableCandle no becahse i have my family as a support bubble for childcare. We could do walks but the thought of not being about to touch etc for however long is frustrating (and I know we are all in the same boat)

OP posts:
KLF6 · 18/10/2020 12:06

Can’t see many sticking to this rule

Stegasaurusmum · 18/10/2020 12:15

We are in Tier 1, I'm assuming we will move to tier 2 at some point...but I'm just seeing him, it's ridiculous to consider socially distancing based on a random decision of tiers which some councils (Essex, next door) have asked for with no clear evidence it's needed.. We are both teachers, we are in rooms with 32 kids, up to 5 times a day... To say I then couldn't see him outside of work well that's rubbish.
My mum and dad are my childcare before and after school, I pay them, I do of course see them briefly in their home but generally it's doorsep, we don't hug etc... the kids see their dad twice a week, i distance from him (thank god) 😁as far as I'm concerned, my bloke is my support bubble as a single parent.

I refuse to stick to these ridiculous rules, they're so abitrary.

I am not punishing myself and him for the next few months/years when I stick to every other rule, I barely see anyone out of work, I don't go out to pubs and restaurants, I'm barely going to shops/town etc... I think it's fair enough to look at each situation on its merits.

Givemeabreak88 · 18/10/2020 12:20

I’m not in a relationship but yes I would still see my partner if I was

CoffeeTableCandle · 18/10/2020 12:29

We could do walks but the thought of not being about to touch etc for however long is frustrating (and I know we are all in the same boat)

Tbh, in your shoes, I think I'd still see him.

I'm an adult. I take precautions. I'm also capable of making my own risk assessments.

I'm in a 'bubble' at work of 125 people with no expectation/practicality of social distancing within that bubble. Plus other people who are in every bubble...

Im expected to believe and accept that that's not a risk to me or anyone else but you spending a weekend with your boyfriend is? Bollocks to that, quite frankly.

Movinghouse2015 · 18/10/2020 12:30

At the moment we are each mothers support bubble, so see each other.

When my son returns from university I don't think we can under the tier 2 regulations (my partners mum mum lives with him).

If it wasn't for student finance we would move in together. But I have a year 13 child also looking to go to uni September, so the financial implications for them would be huge.

We have been dating for over two years, I do not think it's fair for my partner to be responsible for my adult DC education. I also think it would put pressure on the relationship.

It does feel that it is made difficult for single parents with responsibilities for DC, to have meaningful long term relationships.

Movinghouse2015 · 18/10/2020 12:32
  • others - spelling error
musicalfrog · 18/10/2020 12:40

Not in this situation but I'd absolutely break the rules if I were.

Can't believe it's come to this, honestly!

Original poster
Eesha · 18/10/2020 12:45

I'm not really sure what the best approach is. My partner tends to be rigid with following the rules usually but the fact that there is no end in sight might make him reconsider things. My children attend school but other than that, I don't mix with anyone.

OP posts:
booboo24 · 18/10/2020 12:45

We have been together 5 years, engaged, and children and an elderly parent with dementia are the reason we haven't yet moved in together. We have stuck to the rules to the letter so far, however if and when we go into a tier 2 we have already decided to carry on seeing each other even though we aren't technically able to form a support bubble, we have and will stick to every other rule but as other nations have made non cohabiting couples an exemption we have dedided to carry on, it's a very established long term relationship by anyones standards!

The rules on not social distancing are still on the government website so I'm going with that!

safeordangerous · 18/10/2020 13:30

This is how I feel. We are sticking to the rules and seeing as few people as possible. Think I'll check with my partner to see how they feel about it.

stealthninjamummy · 18/10/2020 13:41

I’ve stuck to all the rules but my boyfriend was really depressed and lonely in the last lockdown when we couldn’t see each other.

He lives on his own, works from home, didn’t see any friends, had food delivered, has no kids, and just doesn’t really come into contact with anyone he is my support bubble but even if he wasn’t I would see him, his mental health is too important now.

Lunar567 · 18/10/2020 14:35

People, please, wake up.
There is no risk to see each other.
Why do you want to be miserable.
You will not be arrested if you keep seeing each other.

millymollymoomoo · 18/10/2020 15:01

I’d just keep seeing them
I can sit on a packed bus/tube
Go to work
Kids go to school ( like they should )
Go to crowded supermarket
Can’t see a partner ? I don’t think so

Julietsfishtank · 18/10/2020 15:02

My mum and sister live together and both have partners they don't live with. They are seeing their partners.

Toddlerteaplease · 18/10/2020 15:03

Saw mine yesterday at a NT property. He's tier 3, I'm tier 2.

Toddlerteaplease · 18/10/2020 15:04

It was my birthday yesterday and no was was I not seeing him.

Mabelface · 18/10/2020 15:07

I'm seeing mine. I live alone apart from my daughter or going to buy food, he's the only person I see.

Secondtimearoun · 18/10/2020 15:08

Been seeing my dp 10 months. We live 40 mins away from each other, both divorced with kids.
I'm absolutely seeing him. I'm not going months without seeing him, no way.

HugeAckmansWife · 18/10/2020 15:10

yep - we didn't during the first lockdown with a reasonably firm end date but this is not like that. T2 here. Long term relationship but separate homes for good solid reasons, I could go on about bubbles, guidelines vs laws, possibly its not breaking either but I don't care if it is. As others have said, two adults who are not going around coughing or licking surfaces are not going to exponentially increase the spread by spending time together and it is absolutely mad that we have reached a place where we might accept this level of intervention in our private lives.

DownThePlath · 18/10/2020 15:14

Not my situation, but I would see them for sure

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