Met a lovely man about 5 months ago. Before anyone asks, yes we have complied with all lockdown based rules.
We got on amazingly from the start, lots of very very long phone calls, he is polite, fair with money, has a good job and great family, non intrusive but supportive. He’s very clear about wanting to be with me, doesn’t seem to be any games and he’s direct with me. He wants to meet regularly, he’s caring and considerate. Sounds great so far...
But he doesn’t seem to trust me. I’m quite flirty but have never cheated and wouldn’t, I wonder if this is why he gets quickly on edge about things. An example, I work long hours (as does he to be fair) and the odd occasions, not often with covid, I am late in the office. I’m literally there doing work and his texts become more frequent, checking I’m ok. I tell him that I am and then another message appears twenty minutes later. I don’t know if I’m being a huge brat but it makes me so annoyed! It’s the same when I am with a friend. Constant messages, even when I am seeing him hours later or the next day. Am I being a dick about this? I’ve talked to him about it and it makes zero difference.
Other times, on my birthday, he had got me a present and then when I couldn’t come over to his on the day we had arranged for my birthday as I had a stomach bug (on my actual birthday I had long standing plans with friends), he was understanding but decided to open my present and send me the image of it and said ‘this is what I got you.’ I found it manipulative and unnecessary...again maybe I’m being unfair here.
He is lovely and I really do want someone dedicated to me, I actually love how much we speak and text but sometimes when I say please can we speak tonight or I’m busy at lunchtime today or whatever it is, the messaging escalates.
He has never got angry with me directly but one time I called to say I was running ten mins late and he said that’s fine then my phone didn’t hang up immediately and I heard him swearing to himself saying fucks sake is she coming over or not! I asked him about this when I arrived and he said he didn’t know what I was talking about.
When I asked for a weekend apart he said he would do it but I should be aware that he will quickly lose feelings for me if we don’t see each other a lot. I don’t think he meant this in the toxic way it could be interpreted but it made me feel distant from him, like we can’t trust one another enough to enjoy time apart. In a way that makes me feel less like the relationship is good. I don’t know.
Maybe I’m being a dick?