Jealousy - Instagram

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This feels very juvenile but what are your thoughts on instagram likes and following certain accounts.

He doesnt follow loads maybe a handful of those high following accounts that are very pretty model like accounts. And likes a few pics.

Is this pretty normal for nowadays?

SM can be so bad mental health. I had to unfollow a gorgeous guy in America after I got the jealous rage over his new block patio built around a lovely old tree lit with twinkly lanterns. 😂

@Ladylovesbooks

And btw mrsmumny how many women do you know that follow a string of men who twerk online wearing g strings ? How many of these women are in their 50s following 20 yr old men doing this ? And sending them lovely little likes for the world to see how much it turns them on? Seriously , some women need to lift their standards if they find this acceptable behaviour from men

Exactly this.

I see absolutely no problem at all, because I wanna have the choice to follow whoever I want and talk to whoever I want too. I wouldn't make my husband unfollow anyone because they're hot and showing boobs and asses, whatever. That's call freedom and respect. I would feel pretty invaded if he went online checking on my followers/ people I'm following and asked me to undo that.
It's my boobs and ass that he's getting in real life, so who cares? LOL

A man like that would just make me cringe and I think it would give me the ick. I can’t imagine finding a man like that a turn on. It’s immature, embarrassing (for him) and just generally a bit pathetic. Everyone finds other people attractive of course but publicly ‘liking’ pics like a pathetic little fan...no, that is just completely cringey for me. The kind of man I would be interested in just wouldn’t do that, in fact he wouldn’t even have an Instagram account.

Wait wait wait @Ladylovesbooks -would you be so kind as to show me exactly where the OP has said that her partner is either

A) sleazing over these women, or
B) that the women are "almost naked", or
C) that the women are even youthful?????

??????

Because so far all I've read from the OP is that he's following some accounts of pretty "model like" women and liking their pictures.

Nowhere does it say he's sleazing
Nowhere does it say the women are almost naked
Nowhere does it say how old the women are

Please respond to the above seeing as you've got so much to say about the matter.

So he looks at pretty model types on Instagram, so what ? Can’t see the problem. I look at Idris Elba and Jason Statham . Does that mean I am just seeing all men as sexual objects , therefore disrespecting the entire male population . Of course it doesn’t .

@mrsmummy1111

Wait wait wait *@Ladylovesbooks* -would you be so kind as to show me exactly where the OP has said that her partner is either

A) sleazing over these women, or
B) that the women are "almost naked", or
C) that the women are even youthful?????

??????

Because so far all I've read from the OP is that he's following some accounts of pretty "model like" women and liking their pictures.

Nowhere does it say he's sleazing
Nowhere does it say the women are almost naked
Nowhere does it say how old the women are

Please respond to the above seeing as you've got so much to say about the matter.

Only an idiot or someone try to act deceptively naive could claim not to know there is a HUGE difference in how the MAJORItTy of female ‘ Instagram models aimed at men and the males who take shots for women are posed and displayed . The men usually photographed in sporty posed muscular and shown as hunky whilst the women have mich less clothing are shown with bodies posed in distorted ways with ssses our and sexualised . Completely different . That’s not to say that there are not women on there posing modestly just doing model shots . Sure this might be what he’s looking at now . If so it’s a short just across to the practical porn images That are everywhere. Just as there may be the minority of males in g strings bending over so people can see their oiled asses ( this is probably geared more for men also than women ) The point of what STAGE of underdress the females he so far watching are currently in is irrelevant ! It’s about RESPECT Tbh mummy I’m done trying to reason with you . How old are you and are you mummy to daughters

There's a certain "type" of person who follows these accounts though isn't there? "Sad bastards" spring to mind! Honestly, the people I know IRL who do this sort of thing are mostly shallow/immature/not very bright types some of who often cheat on their partners.

Decent, intelligent men just don't do this (publicly anyway!) so if it was my DH I'd think he was lacking in some sort of fundamental way and it would definitely diminish my attraction to him.

It really doesn't matter of its normal or if every other woman in the world would be fine with it. If you don't like it you need to tell him and he can decide to stop doing the thing you don't like or end the relationship so he can keep doing it.

You can end a relationship over anything, you don't like his shoes, he whistles, he only eats strawberry chewing gum, he only watches reality tv, he calls you babes. Whatever it is, if you're not happy end it. Life is too short.

In my relationships I tell my partner if I'm unhappy about something and they can choose to change it or not, same if they're not happy. No other women are in the relationship, only you so you get to decide your own boundaries.

Yeah, it doesn't matter what we think. You don't like it, and he seems to think its fine. So, you can ask him to stop, but he is also free to refuse, in which case, what will you do then?

Personally I love looking at handsome men online, so it would be hypocritical of me to be similarly annoyed tbh. My dp does follow the accounts of many pretty women... we animals after all, we like to look at each other and there is nothing evil or offensive about the human body.

@ReneeRol

I wouldn't care. Liking someone's photo isn't cheating.

So you don’t mind you partner pretty much saying ‘I like the look of you here- very nice: like’???

@mrsmummy1111

Some of the replies on this thread are fucking ludicrous

"It says a lot about what a man values in women . Ask these men to name women in history they respect and you can bet they couldn’t name one . The only thing they think women are worth is t and a"

Man follows pretty woman on social media and is therefore branded as undervaluing women and only interested in their tits and arses and not their brains?????

So if we are following that thread, no women are ever allowed to appreciate a man for being good looking, never allowed to comment on it or discuss a mans looks because otherwise; by your standards, that makes them prove themselves as undervaluing men and only interested in the size of their dicks.

I truly cannot believe women in real life exist with views like that.

I truly can not believe you’ve got a partner with views like that?

So you’re ok with your partner pretty much saying ‘yes I like what I see on your photo. Very nice and attractive- I like it’

Absolutely weird as anything to be that blasé about it

Is this actually a joke @TableFlowerss

You're seriously suggesting that a married man is NEVER AGAIN allowed to find ANY OTHER woman attractive. So hang on, I find Ryan gosling very attractive, and that makes me weird? Because married people or people in relationships of any sort are never allowed to ever find anyone else attractive ever again?

AND IM THE WEIRD ONE???????

The amount of insecure and controlling women on this thread is truly alarming. The OP has never once suggested that any of the accounts her partner is "liking" are of anything other than fully dressed, albeit very pretty, instagram models. According to a lot of women here, male parents aren't allowed to look at women's Instagram pages because it makes them "sad bastards". The naivety is astounding.

For the record - my husband doesn't have social media, but I'm under NO illusions that if his mates sent a picture of a pretty woman on their group chats, that he wouldn't comment because he's married. He isn't a "sad bastard", he's just a happily married man without a jealous wife who can appreciate that other woman are attractive without making him a cheat or a sleaze.

@mrsmummy1111

The amount of insecure and controlling women on this thread is truly alarming. The OP has never once suggested that any of the accounts her partner is "liking" are of anything other than fully dressed, albeit very pretty, instagram models. According to a lot of women here, male parents aren't allowed to look at women's Instagram pages because it makes them "sad bastards". The naivety is astounding.

For the record - my husband doesn't have social media, but I'm under NO illusions that if his mates sent a picture of a pretty woman on their group chats, that he wouldn't comment because he's married. He isn't a "sad bastard", he's just a happily married man without a jealous wife who can appreciate that other woman are attractive without making him a cheat or a sleaze.

No mrsmummy1111 I’d actually say you are the weak and insecure one here . Because you are clearly too insecure to ask for and expect any respect from a partner Yet again you show a complete ignorance or unwillingness to see the huge difference publicly declaring how hot someone makes you and noticing or conmenting to a friend that someone is attractive . I am yet to see one wonan here including myself say we have any issue with our partners noticing or saying to a friend that a woman is attractuce , yet like a fifteen year old you repeatedly use that argument as a fall back because you are unable to address the true issues of sexism , double standards , the fact that Instagram women are displayed MUCH differently than men and the fact that it’s totally disrespectful to ones partner Can you PLEASE show me where one woman on this thread has said I’m not comfortable with my partner finding any other woman attractive ????? Yet you’ve never once answered one of those concerns . All you’ve done is come back and attacked posters such as table flowers myself and others with your weak assumptions and false claims . Please please go get education on sexism , the roles of social media in double standards be teen men and women’s body standards and expectations , gender politics and THEN come back with some sound arguments

@mrsmummy1111

Is this actually a joke *@TableFlowerss*

You're seriously suggesting that a married man is NEVER AGAIN allowed to find ANY OTHER woman attractive. So hang on, I find Ryan gosling very attractive, and that makes me weird? Because married people or people in relationships of any sort are never allowed to ever find anyone else attractive ever again?

AND IM THE WEIRD ONE???????

They can find them attractive, in the way that everyone can say that person is attractive. Where is draws the line is liking other women’s photos.

It’s no different to shouting in the street ‘corrr you’re fit’ at another woman. It’s totally degrading to his partner/wife!!

How can’t you see that? Good for you if you’re cool with that, and I suspect you follow men so even Stevens but I can tell you that many women wouldn’t be cool with it!

It’s about respecting your partner

@mrsmummy1111

The amount of insecure and controlling women on this thread is truly alarming. The OP has never once suggested that any of the accounts her partner is "liking" are of anything other than fully dressed, albeit very pretty, instagram models. According to a lot of women here, male parents aren't allowed to look at women's Instagram pages because it makes them "sad bastards". The naivety is astounding.

For the record - my husband doesn't have social media, but I'm under NO illusions that if his mates sent a picture of a pretty woman on their group chats, that he wouldn't comment because he's married. He isn't a "sad bastard", he's just a happily married man without a jealous wife who can appreciate that other woman are attractive without making him a cheat or a sleaze.

Oh there you go then.... you’re DH doesn’t have social media. I bet if he did and he started liking strangers (that are attractive) photos, you’d feel different.

Maybe you wouldn’t but in my experience with my ex, I would say ‘corrr she’s nice looking’ and point out particularly attractive women because I didn’t see him the same way I see my now DH.

So I would have shared yours view that there nothing wrong with the ex liking photos but the sad part was the reason I didn’t care was because I didn’t value our relationship and seen him as a friend.

No mrsmummy1111 I’d actually say you are the weak and insecure one here . Because you are clearly too insecure to ask for and expect any respect from a partner
Yet again you show a complete ignorance or unwillingness to see the huge difference publicly declaring how hot someone makes you and noticing or conmenting to a friend that someone is attractive . I am yet to see one wonan here including myself say we have any issue with our partners noticing or saying to a friend that a woman is attractuce , yet like a fifteen year old you repeatedly use that argument as a fall back because you are unable to address the true issues of sexism , double standards , the fact that Instagram women are displayed MUCH differently than men and the fact that it’s totally disrespectful to ones partner
Can you PLEASE show me where one woman on this thread has said I’m not comfortable with my partner finding any other woman attractive ?????
Yet you’ve never once answered one of those concerns . All you’ve done is come back and attacked posters such as table flowers myself and others with your weak assumptions and false claims . Please please go get education on sexism , the roles of social media in double standards be teen men and women’s body standards and expectations , gender politics and THEN come back with some sound arguments

@Ladylovesbooks

Brilliant post, I couldn’t agree more. You’ve hit the nail on the head. No one is saying their partner mustn’t find someone attractive. We’re all human, but the line is drawn when they actively acknowledge it on social media.
It’s so disrespectful.

Imo there are 3 possible reasons why posted say they’re ok with their partners liking other women’s photos ect.... And they are-

A- They are on the wind up wind up and like a reaction here.

B- They genuinely don’t care however, that’s because they are happy and content with their partner in the way they should be. They don’t view their partner as the love of their life and they’re just like friends and so they aren’t bothered. (Been there myself)

C-They pretend they’re ok with it because they wouldn’t want to pull their DH on it. They are that insecure in their relationship that they will let him get away with being disrespectful. They accept that.

My DH would dare follow other women on Instagram as he knows it’s degrading to me and he has more respect for me than to do that.

point B I’m mean they are not happy and content

'They can find them attractive, in the way that everyone can say that person is attractive. Where is draws the line is liking other women’s photos.

It’s no different to shouting in the street ‘corrr you’re fit’ at another woman. It’s totally degrading to his partner/wife!!'

Exactly this ^ it is disrespectful. My friends boyfriend would like other womans pictures on facebook (pictures of girls in the area as well as celebs) some even messaged him on the basis of the like etc and she would be so insecure about it. He would also openly say in front of her how 'fit' these other woman were and her confidence was on the floor. He went on to cheat on her, treat her terribly then left her. I realise not every man looking pictures will do any of of what my friends boyfriend did. I have no issue with people finding others attractive but anything more like liking and is a lack of respect.

liking etc*

All men look at other women somewhere or other. Much ado about nothing.

Looking very different to liking and messaging etc... just looking isnt the issue though is it?

I wouldnt be happy. I cannot stand men who talk about celeb crushes or stuff like that. It is inappropriate and if someone is in love why would they be eyeing someone else.