Paying 50/50

[mummy412]

Those you of living with partners do you spilt bills rent etc 50/50?

My partner has moved in and has yet to contribute to anything. I've made it clear he needs to pay something especially if I'm buying food etc he's helping himself too.

So far I pay everything

Who is the man you chose to have a child with and to live with? It sounds as if you hardly know him. Otherwise you'd know his attitude to finance. I suspect paying towards the bills is the least of your problems.
What do you talk about if you do don't discuss anything serious?
Why is he 'helping you out'?

That response is just laughable.

Kick him out now. He has no intention of contributing financially. Claim CMS.

Is he helping out in terms of childcare, cooking and chores??

Get rid - you need that money you’re spending on him for your child

What the fuck does he mean...helping out?! He's a bloody grown adult and a parent. He needs to step up and fast.

Why on earth did you reproduce with this 'man' ?

@mummy412

Well I thought it would be common sense for him to pay. Clearly not. Talked to him he said he's going to start working at weekends to help out

So he doesn't work at all at the moment? And you had a baby with him whilst you weren't living together.......sorry but this has recipe for disaster written all over it? This is something you discuss BEFORE moving. Presumably he wasn't contributing to his child before August either?

What does he mean "helping out"? Why is paying his way a foreign language to him?

Did he come straight from mummy looking after him? Or is he one of these guys who has his own place as well as reckons that means you should subsidise him?

I guess the working at weekends is to make you feel bad and so he doesn't have to "help out" at home.

Boot the fucker out.

I fail to see any positive qualities from your so called DP so far

An adult with responsibilities (child) should contribute

So he doesn't work! Why not?

Yes he was working but he said he has to work weekends as well to afford it all I said fine

Can you explain how he was living before?

It feels like there is information missing. So he works 5 days a week. Does he contribute towards the costs of bringing up your daughter. How was he living before. How is moving in with you extra costs?

To afford what ?
Is he supporting other children?

Op is very brief.

@mummy412

Yes he was working but he said he has to work weekends as well to afford it all I said fine

You need to be clearer to get useful advice.

Does he work? If not where does his income come from?

Do you work?

Who looks after the child each day?

Do you rent/own?

Do you actually want to build a family life with this man? Or would you be better sending him back on his way and claiming child support?

I think it means he works but will need to work extra at weekends to be able to pay his share. So he expected to not contribute anything?
Just send him back to wherever he came from.

I’m mystified. Is he looking after your daughter while you work then ( or are you on maternity)? Providing full time childcare is the only scenario I can imagine where he wouldn’t be contributing- and only if you earn enough to afford this. Otherwise it’s ridiculous! Glad you’re speaking to him about it, what’s he spending his salary on if he’s not paying rent/food/bills, etc.?

So he didnt expect to pay anything towards the household finances or the care of his child? What a pathetic loser he is. Well done for not sitting on this, OP, it's great that you see how unnaceptable his attitude is

Does he not understand that as a parent, he needs to provide for his child?☹️

Did he live rent free with his parents before he moved in? Where does his money go?

Jesus Christ OP do you have mug tattooed on your forehead?????

WTAF????

Tell him to grow up and support his family and stop behaving like a baby that need his Mummy to wipe his arse.

He should at least be paying half, probably more while you are on maternity leave.

I can't quite believe that you didn't discuss this sort of thing before you allowed him to impregnate you but you should certainly have reached an agreement before the baby arrived, and then altered it to suit before he moved in.

He sounds like a waste of space. Your life will probably be much easier if you chuck him out and get the CSA or whatever they are called now to sort out his child support payments.

He is living with you and paying nothing.

What outgoings is he paying for?

I mean the term cocklodger was invented for this scenario.

How did he afford to live before? Ffs, who thinks they can live somewhere, anywhere for free? I think, he thinks your a meal ticket. Get him out of your home!

@JumpingJamboree

We split ours according to wages. DH earns twice as much as me so pays twice as much into the joint account as me which covers things like mortgage, insurance, bills. Then we take turns filling up the car, paying for lunch out, paying for food shop etc.

I think this is one of the wisest things I’ve ever read on here to split bills according to both your earnings.

@SBTLove

I think it means he works but will need to work extra at weekends to be able to pay his share. So he expected to not contribute anything? Just send him back to wherever he came from.

Hahahaha in a nutshell!

You need to be clearer, why for example does he need to work seven days a week to contribute towards rent, bills etc?

What discussions about finances did you have before you decided to have a child together and before you decided to live together.

We had a few ‘falling outs’ when decided what to do with finances. No shared child here. He wanted to go 50/50. I own my flat and I’m not comfortable with someone else contributing to the mortgage, I also didn’t want him contributing financially for my son. So I said I wanted him to pay 1/3 of bills, apart from council tax thats 50/50. I wouldn’t budge so I won.

If we get married it will be a case of wages go in to the joint account and we each get x amount of spending money per month and a certain amount goes into savings. They’re not romantic conversations, but the practical ones are the most important ones to have.

OP, If you're as brief with him as you are with us I'm not surprised you're having trouble communicating 🤣