Nowhere to have sex

[Ribrabrob]

I live in an area where most single people house share (I think because it’s such an expensive area). I am living alone however for various reasons I cannot have guests.

I’m starting to date (in a bid to get over someone!) and I’ve been on a few dates with a guy who lives with another flat mate who works unsociable hours and who doesn’t allow guests. Apparently the flat mate has a girlfriend who he doesn’t have over either.

This is going to be a problem going forward. Has anyone ever been in this situation and how did you overcome it? I thought perhaps a hotel maybe once every few weeks but it just seems a bit... sad, let alone expensive.

Any advice appreciated!

My partner and I both have sole custody of teenage children so we go to a hotel once a week at least. Recommend Premier Inn. Only £30 or so a time and unmanned reception for when you are sneaking back out later in the evening! Nothing sad about it at all either.....

The car

Are you sure he doesn’t live with his girlfriend?

£30 isn’t too bad actually :) thanks.

Car sadly not possible - tiny and old and the seats don’t go back. Plus neither of us are the smallest of people but good suggestion, thank you.

If you want a relationship one of you needs to change their living arrangements.

I’d be suspicious that he’s not actually single.

I am living alone however for various reasons I cannot have guests.

Just curious, but what are those reasons? If you live alone I don't understand why you can't have guests.

Why are people saying maybe he's not single? Maybe OP isn't? She's not having him back at hers either!

Takes me back to the swinging sixties when I was about 20 ish, Nobody could sexually socialise in their parents houses at all, and hardly anyone had a car. Life was pretty normal and lovely though !!

Am thinking both of you have a partner you live alone but he can't go there either 🤔

Maybe you could offer to do some babysitting . Are you teenagers ?

Interested to know why he can’t come to yours if you live alone. Seems daft to look at staying in a hotel if you’ve got a place to yourself.

@FeckArseDrinkGirls

I’d be suspicious that he’s not actually single.

My thought exactly. I got a similar story from a guy once. When I quietly checked it out I found out he was living with his wife, not a flatmate.

If you're living alone, why can't you have a guest? It's your home.

My partner and I both have sole custody of teenage children so we go to a hotel once a week at least. Recommend Premier Inn

That’s insane. Never been so glad not to have kids!!

Have you been to the flat in the daytime on weekends or when the flatmate is out? Not to stay over, just to be in it?

I sort of can see if you are living with a family member, you could be in a position where overnight guests are not allowed, but if this man is living with a flatmate, no visitors at all, not even in the day/when he's out at work is amazingly unreasonable and I'm surprised this man is prepared to accept it.

...I live in London and mosh people I know house share, however I have never met anyone who can’t have guests?! What is going on at your end, and are you sure he’s telling the truth? Because this makes zero sense

I can understand a lodger not being allowed guests but I find it bizarre for a flat share.

I would also be suspicious that he had a live in girlfriend

Sounds like the sort of rules that a guesthouse or B&B would insist on. Otherwise, it's just unreasonable constraint.

It’s a bit of a long story but the house i am living in is not my own. It’s my friend’s house who is living abroad in their home country until 2021 at least. My friend had severe depression so the house needs a lot of work doing. I don’t think it had been cleaned in about 2 years before I moved in and it’s not been decorated in a long time. There is no working oven, no internet and the place isn’t really very nice although I have obviously cleaned it and done what what I can. My friend would rather I do not have guests, but I also wouldn’t anyway. To be really honest I’d feel embarrassed bringing somebody - anybody - here so it’s not something I’ll even consider.

I’m prepared to accept the conditions because I don’t really have the option at the moment to move (work, money etc) and my friend likes that am here (paranoid about burglars, neighbours realising nobody is home etc). It’s kind of a win win - I have a basically free place to stay for a while and their mind is put at ease (extreme paranoia and anxiety). Needless to say though, I am looking to move from here as soon as possible.

Does he have a girlfriend? I don’t know for sure but I really wouldn’t think so. We went to a park together right by his flat, he always texts, calls etc first and is always keen to arrange the next meeting and always seems to be free. He also took a phone call in front of me the other day and will happily leave his phone on the table in the pub whilst he goes to the loo etc. So yes it’s a possibility but an unlikely one I think.

You are doing your friend a favour , she lives abroad and will never know.
Put some lamps on, light some scented candles, he will never notice the mess. It all seems a bit slly really.

@1forAll74

Takes me back to the swinging sixties when I was about 20 ish, Nobody could sexually socialise in their parents houses at all, and hardly anyone had a car. Life was pretty normal and lovely though !!

Indeed. I was 28, qualified accountant, owned my own house, but my girlfriend and I were not allowed to sleep together when we went to stay with my parents. How times have changed, for the better in this case.

You will be shocked to learn that single men don't care if you live in a hovel.

I must say, if I was offering sex to a man, and he turned me down due to the state of the fixtures and fittings of the place I was staying in, it would be a pretty good sign he wasn't the one for me.

Put fresh bedding on the bed and skimpy pants on you, then invite him over.

“There is a vagina and boobs in front of me, but THE CARPET HAS SEEN BETTER DAYS.”

Said no man, ever!!