I need help finding a private detective/investigator

[IKnowIKnowDontBollockMe]

This is obviously a name change!
Basically, I really need to know whether OH is being a slapper on lads nights out.

I'd like to know if he goes to lap dancing clubs, well I know he does but he denies it, and I'd like to know if he actually 'gets off with' other women.

I'd like to hire a private detective for one of these nights, but have no idea where to look or what to look for, or how much it would cost etc etc. I'd be so grateful for any practical help on that front

Don't bother telling me how shit my relationship must be and how it's not the right way of doing things because I know that already

LaurieFairyCake, I am so touched by your generous offer. Seriously, it's brought a tear to my eye.

Thank you so much.

aaah have to go, but didn't want to leave it unackowledged
xxxxxxxx

ICan I sut say, I felt for years that my XDP was cheating on me, I knew he was telling me lies and I just couldnt prove anything I would catch him out so obviously and he would act as if I was insane. So I can see where you are coming from for the need for 'proof' I agree that honeytraps as such are a waste of time and money. But surveillance on one of his nights out is totally different.
I hope you find out what youre lookign for.
Even if it is proof of the worst, I eventually found XDP with his penis in some tramps mouth but at least I could finally move on.

Hi I have been reading this thread and I'm sure I need a private detective. I am having exactly the same experience as IKnowIKnowDontBollockMe I know my DH is up to something.

I have a bit of evidence but not enough. He has been exchanging flirty emails with someone and also had a picture of her on his phone. I know this sounds pretty concrete evidence but its amazing how they manage to find some almost reasonable explanation and make you think you're going mad.

I need some actual specific evidence as I can't break the family up over flirty emails and a photo. BTW if I find out my suspicions are right then it will def be divorce I can't live with someone I can't trust - Sorry this is so long, there is loads more to tell but you would nod off! (sad)

I can recommend one, a very good one, she will find the problem, bring your DH to your senses and sort your marriage. Unfortunately, she is a book character.

Sooorrry, but if you really need to have your DH followed I think that is better to use the money for better purposes like counselling, divorce fees, or child mainteinance.

Trust is one thing that one you loose it, it is almost imposible to get back. This won't help your marriage, will only bring more misery to both of you.

I understand what you are saying but before I do the divorce thing I must have proper evidence as I said I don't want to split the family over flirty emails, if it turns out to be just flirting then I will have to let the trust come back over time.

Also counselling is fine but he might just lie his way through that too. Alternatively I could just continue checking his phone etc and wait for the evidence to appear.

I feel like I'm watching my life from the outside. I can't believe I am having this conversation.I want to add a smiley but they never work for me!

IKnowIKnowDontBollockMe, sounds to me like you are doing something constructive about your situation instead of sitting at home twiddling your thumbs and worrying yourself. Better to know than live in constant worry/stress.

Glad to hear that you are not going to do the Honey Trap thing.

If you live in Edinburgh I can get my husband to do it for you .

I agree with Maisemor.

IKnowIKnowDontBollockMe, don't do the honey trap thing, you don't want him to be in anymore trouble than he is already! You are in a similar position to me you need evidence then you can act on it. I don't know about you but I feel empowered just by being on this thread and trying to solve my problem. Not just being the little wife at home doing the domestics. Good luck

When you all say 'really expensive' for a private detective, how expensive is 'really expensive'? Hundreds, thousands? Anyone got any idea?

i got a reasonable one once (different circumstances, needed to prove to csa ex was living where he denied living) but i already had his address, car reg etc..it was just surveillance really. they watched him for about three weeks. i did have to make them retype their report as they had gotten exp's name wrong (laughably so , i wont say what they had called him)..it cost me £300, which is mucho cheapness. (in terms of PI anyway, lots of money to me!) but of course, worth it as i finally started to get the money he owes me.

If your DH is going to lapdancing clubs it's very unlikely he is cheating on you - the girls at most clubs, especially spearmint rhino etc wouldn't touch a 'client' with a barge pole. IMO I'd rather my partner pay to have a girl with absolutely nothing but money in her eyes dance for him than him be on a night out in a local pub where he is more likely to meet someone with a genuine interest in him...

In my experience, men who end up in the strip club at the end of the night are the ones who aren't cheating on there wives and girlfriends! If they had a partner and a mistress they would struggle to fit the lap dancing in wouldn't they!?

If you have other reasons for thinking he is straying then fair enough and good luck with your quest. Never used anyone personally so can't recommend.

FrightOwl, was this recent and was it in the London area? If so do you still have their contact details?