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Original poster

DH faking it.

40 replies

DoraTheImplorer · 11/10/2020 23:44

Well, thought sex life was grand. Slowed down since second DC, but maybe one a week, often more if we're in the mood. But recently had sex, which was lovely. Over an hour of foreplay, followed by him from behind. I come. He carries on, does the grunt and collapses down. Kisses, cuddles, lovely 😀.
I go to the loo. Come back and he's furiously walking. Did you not come, I said? No, says he.
He basically faked it, because he'd got tired, and tried to finish off in the 2 minutes I went for a wee.
Should I be pissed off or worried, or just accept it? I've faked it before, but not for years. Now I'm concerned I can't make him cum.
Advice?

OP posts:
Original poster
DoraTheImplorer · 11/10/2020 23:45

Walking not walking!

OP posts:
Original poster
DoraTheImplorer · 11/10/2020 23:46

Wanking! Bloody spellcheck.

OP posts:
PinkPlantCase · 11/10/2020 23:50

I wouldn’t worry OP. And I doubt he’ll do it again now he’s been busted.

Maybe talk about how often he does it? You don’t know if this is a one off.

Or if sometimes he wants to finish in a different way maybe you could help him with that?

My DH doesn’t finish every time, in the same way I don’t! It’s no biggie.

Though I would be furious if he faked it when TTC

TheDaydreamBelievers · 11/10/2020 23:52

If it's just a one off I wouldn't worry @DoraTheImplorer. Sometimes it just isnt gonna happen. All I'd do is tell him he didnt need to pretend and its not a big deal

Aquamarine1029 · 11/10/2020 23:55

I wouldn't be making a big deal out of this if I were you. We all have off days.

Moonshinemisses · 12/10/2020 00:03

Don't we all fake it sometimes when we're tired. Doesn't mean he didn't enjoy it.

FortunesFave · 12/10/2020 00:06

I don't see the issue. I certainly can't come every single time I have sex. Why should a man be expected to?

VenusTiger · 12/10/2020 00:16

Over an hour of foreplay??? No wonder he's knackered - that's a long time for foreplay OP - imo.

Raidblunner · 12/10/2020 00:56

Faking it? Why? Whats the point?
Why lie to protect someone's ego?

FortunesFave · 12/10/2020 01:05

Raid well the fact that OP's posted about it in a worried state shows why some people feel the need to fake.

Traditionally, men are expected to always have the power to perform aren't they? Many women feel threatened when they can't.

Not that this is ok...it's not a good dynamic at all.

Notashandyta · 12/10/2020 01:08

Too much porn

NeverHadANickname · 12/10/2020 01:08

I would be sad he couldn't just be honest, as others have pointed out it is not a big deal if it doesn't happen every time so wouldn't have been a problem to just be honest about it.

user1468538201 · 12/10/2020 01:26

Do you expect him to orgasm every time? That's pretty high expectations, both hub and I are content to say it's not going to happen tonight, stop and have a cuddle instead. We both will have enjoyed ourselves but don't feel any need to orgasm every time. Relax, don't be putting so much pressure on you or him.

DoWahDiddy · 12/10/2020 02:12

Maybe his balls were empty. Too much porn, as stated previous? Dry climax? It does happen.

WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo · 12/10/2020 02:15

You can't moan about someone doing something you've done yourself. Get off his back, he can't ejaculate on demand and obviously felt some pressure around that not happening.

Personally I find it weird that it's expected of men everytime, I know my dp doesn't every time. And neither do I tbh. Thel difference is after 25 years one of us will pause and suggest finishing off another night. No shame here 😂😂😂

amusedtodeath1 · 12/10/2020 02:57

Men don't like to admit any failings in the bedroom and although it's not a failure to us to blokes these things matter. Tell him it's ok and to just tell you next time and enjoy the attention.

An hour's foreplay eh? Envy (actual envy)

CodenameVillanelle · 12/10/2020 03:11

It's worrying that he felt he had to fake it and hide it from you! Surely if he needed to finish himself off he could have said so and done it with you there? The fact that he didn't finish through sex is no big deal.

SimonJT · 12/10/2020 06:25

Sometimes it just doesn’t happen, sometimes it only happens if you do it yourself, sometimes it just happens easily.

You don’t get to pick how your penis ‘decides’ to react.

FippertyGibbett · 12/10/2020 06:49

How old is he ?

tinyvulture · 12/10/2020 07:00

Like others have said, it’s not a big deal, and he probably faked it to spare your feelings. I’ve had blokes who insist on keep going for HOURS when they aren’t gonna come, and to be honest it used to get really boring! Current boyfriend is refreshing as he will just say, sorry babe, not gonna happen this time...... That’s usually if we have already had sex quite a lot (Don’t see each other that often so when we do we make the most of it), but also can just be if he is a bit stressed or something, or has had a bit to drink. We’ve spoken about it and both feel sex shouldn’t be all about HIS orgasm (as the sex I have had with exes has tended to be).
Just tell your DH that he has no need to fake it and you won’t be upset,.... Good opportunity to talk about it. Talking is the key to a great sex life, I recently learnt.

HartnellAvenue · 12/10/2020 07:06

The fact you're asking if you should be pissed off is very strange.

What you should do is have an honest talk with him where you reassure him that he doesn't have to pretend with you, he can just say he's had enough and just stop if he wants to. Even if neither of you have come.

Kittykat93 · 12/10/2020 07:10

It's not an issue. Sometimes I'm really enjoying sex but just cannot cum. But then afterwards I can masturbate and it will happen. Its no reflection on my partner. He was probably a bit embarrassed and that's why he didn't say anything.

ChronicallyCurious · 12/10/2020 07:36

I don’t understand how a many can fake it? Surely you’d be like ... where did the cum go?

Anothernick · 12/10/2020 07:55

You certainly shouldn't be worried at one incident like this, if it happened a lot then maybe a discussion would be called for. Don't imply any criticism of him, as others have said men don't like to admit to any problems in the bedroom department.

Having said that, I don't fake it with my DW, it's very rare for me not to cum, I don't feel satisfied unless I do, but occasionally I will just tell her I'm not in the mood and leave it at that. I don't think she fakes it with me either, though it may just be that she is good at it.....

FortunesFave · 12/10/2020 09:27

Chronically Not if he wore a condom you wouldn't. Also, some men don't ...emit much.

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