So long story,
I was a doc in a small hospital, met this nursing student on tinder let’s call her Jana. We got pregnant after a few weeks by accident. My contract finished and I moved to London for a new job.
Jana comes from a broken home in eastern Europe. Her mum is an alcoholic who left when she was small, her dad is not that supportive, he does not like the fact that I am not white but overall, he is ok.
Now doing the right thing, I moved Jana in with me, she put her studies on hold for a year while we had the baby, 6 months after the baby was born, she went back to school. I paid for everything, me and my mum managed the baby so Jana could go to school. I bought her a car and also moved to a new house close to her school, but later we had to move back to London as I could not find work.
I decided to give up my job training and became a contractor, my career does not progress but I reduced my working days to 3 days a week (Friday to Sunday) so I can take care of the baby during the week and I get paid very well so I could afford to support the 3 of us.
Form the start I could see something was not quite right with Jana, I came to understand later that Jana has EUPD / BPD.
3 years down the line my life has become a living hell, Jana is now a nurse. We have a wonderful little 2-year-old girl.
But the levels of abuse I have to put up with is simply unimaginable. I get accused of cheating most days, I come home from work at 1 am and sometimes until 3 or 4 am Jana is accusing me of cheating, I found a little café I like, but if I go there I am accused of going there because there is a blond women working there (I actually have not noticed). I have lost many friends, she somehow does not like most of the people around me for one reason or another.
She says my friend’s wife was a prostitute to get though uni, she is an ICU and anaesthetic consultant and all this because I was once on the phone giving her some advice and did not see Jana was calling me.
I can’t see one of my male friends who has been my friend for 30 years because he is a good-looking guy and she thinks we will go out picking up women or something.
My parents do a huge amount to help us, they drive 2 hours to pick up and drop of the baby any time we need. There is no limit to the number of days they will keep the baby if we need, because my dad is so fond of the baby (he was a very involved parent to us) Jana at one point started to say he may be sexually abusing the baby.
Jana has hit my a few times. In shock I called the police twice, Jana simply told me she will tell the police I hit her if I report it. Jana has been aggressive with the baby many times since she was born, I have called social services. They did nothing.
She lives in a flat I own, the only defence I have it to tell her she has to move out, but then she says I am abusing her by threating to kick her out.
Her mood changes within seconds, she may be ready to kill me min and then within a few min she is jumping on me kissing me. Its nuts.
I walk on eggshells all the time, I latterly cannot do anything without getting accused of cheating in some way. I took some takeaway food in for people at work. We bring in food for each other from time to time. I then get accusations.
We are on holiday, Jana likes to sunbathe, the baby sleeps for 3h in the afternoon so I took the baby to bed and sat in a dark room while she slept. I then get accused of going back to the room so I can text someone.
Once Jana came back to the room to sleep also so I thought I would go for a walk in the hotel to have a look around. I then get accused of wanting to leave so I can look at women, so I just sat on the balcony for 3 hours.
I used to be a confident fun guy; this has been slowly stolen from me.
In general Jana is good with the baby but if she has to take care of her for anything over 2 or 3 days things start to fall apart and she gets stressed. I do everything I can to protect the baby, I take her out and walk around the local parks and streets for half the day so that Jana has time to de stress and calm down.
Jana says this is my fault she is like this, because once 3 years ago a friend who I once had a drunken encounter with sent me a message because her dad had a stroke and asked me for advice. I responded with my advice but this somehow is held against me years down the line.
Jana has tracked down everyone I have dated and stalks them all on social media while I was made to delete all number and remove all the girls form my past on FB (I’m not in contact so I don’t really care).
I have had dirty underwear rubbed in my face because I was accused of pleasuring myself.
I almost lost my job because Jana stole some patient information from my bag so she could use it against me. I had to report this to my work.
I have lost work in the past because she does not like the fact that the agent who finds me work is a woman who I communicate with via sms.
Jana has had therapy which has been a huge improvement but still its bubbling in the background and I’m simply broken now.
She still drinks too much, her impulsive behaviour is much better.
I have asked her to move out, which I have done many times before. I am really trying to be strong and stick to it but really the only thing that is important is the baby. I am generally the main parent now and could drop to 2 day a week and still make very good money.
I can’t leave because I own the house and I can’t just kick her out.
Honestly, I don't cheat, I dont even want to.