Cutting contact with DP

[Nemma96]

I'm really stressed at the moment, me and my DP live separately and have a 8month old DS.

There's a back story but its too long, but would it be wrong of me to turn my phone off for a few days just to give myself time to think if I want to carry on the relationship.

If i turn my phone off he wont have any contact with our DS and won't be able to see him without getting intouch. I also have the risk of him turning up and not giving me space.

I just really need some time to think and get my head straight. What should I do?

[rainbowstardrops]

Yes he absolutely should stand up for you because otherwise, he's going to lose you!

Is there a court order in place for him having access to his other children?

His ex sounds dreadful but he really needs to confront this and sort it.

[Nemma96]

I think that's why I need the few days, to realise that I'm fine and less stressed on my own.

He doesnt have a court order in place and hes not on either BC either so he wouldn't need to sort that.

He tip toes round her because she is so vile that she uses the children but I dont think that should stop him. I've always said I would help him get access and he should be sorting this already because she changes her mind so often. He seems to think her behaviour is normal for her as she use to beat him with a hoover so he thinks I can live with what she does to me as he did.

Its just a mess

[Enough4me]

You can't carry on like this. Even if you were all fine the constant FaceTiming is there to suit him and messes about with your day. Find a mutually convenient time when FT makes sense, maybe early evening, for him to speak with DS. Take the space around to plan what you want to do now.

Can you plan a pattern for contact and where would that happen?

[Nemma96]

I think im going to have to think about contact. I can drop DS to him for him to have contact but I've never been away from DS so abit nervous. I can also arrange set times but for all this to happen we need to be able to speak calmly and i know us breaking up is going to hurt him

[timeisnotaline]

Also he saw his son everyday but I asked him to move out and now he doesnt live with us so sees our DS through facetime.
This is very low standards op. When he lived in your house he saw his son- would be hard to avoid him surely?! Now he doesn’t, and he just FaceTimes. Separated parents still physically see and look after their children regularly, not just FaceTime.

[Nemma96]

Yes I understand that he should see his son more but he does not leave the house atm due to his health so the only way he sees him is if i take our DS round.

We will have to sort out contact as we haven't discusses this yet, he only moved out 2 weeks ago