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Original poster

Would you take your 18month old to your honeymoon?

48 replies

Fressia123 · 06/10/2020 14:16

If the virus allows it we're trying to see where to go in honeymoon. If we go to the Caribbean/US/Mexico my family is happy to look after the baby (they're based on that side of the world) but if we decide to go somewhere in Europe we'd have to take the baby with us. As much as it sounds nice, it doesn't sound that romantic? I'd really love to go to Paris but surely it would be more of a family trip than anything else.

OP posts:
workshy44 · 06/10/2020 14:21

NO WAY
Why on earth would you if you have someone to mind them. I really don't get these women (as it is never men) who are surgically joined to their children and wear the "Ive never left him for a night/5 minutes" like a badge of honor
I'm sure you will get people say oh I couldn't leave him when he is that young but go an enjoy yourself, you DH and marriage will thank you for it

Popcornismandatory · 06/10/2020 14:23

Not a chance!

Llamapolice · 06/10/2020 14:23

I would want DD there as me and DP enjoy her company Grin but I definitely wouldn't judge you either way.

AnneLovesGilbert · 06/10/2020 14:23

I wouldn’t. I’ve got an 18 month old and wouldn’t want to be away from her for that long. Do whatever you’re comfy with though, you know your baby your best. Does she know the people you’d be leaving her with?

tyrannosaurustrip · 06/10/2020 14:23

To be honest, I wouldn't leave an 18 month old for a week. or two weeks so yes, I think I would.

I never really get the 'honeymoon' obsession though - you live together, you have a child together, its just an excuse to spend more money than you usually would on a holiday. Which is fine. But nothing magical happens differently because its a honeymoon, and at the stage you're at now, a holiday without your v small child would be a bit stressful, and holiday with them would be nice but probably a very different thing. So I'd probably promise yourself you'll prioritise a fancy holiday for the two of you in a few years and plan a nice trip now for the three of you.

MarthaWashingtonsFeralTomcat · 06/10/2020 14:27

I would - but I don't really understand why a honeymoon is such a big deal for a couple with kids, living together etc. Surely it's just a fancy holiday?! A week or two would be too long for my little boy (or even my older kids to be honest) to be without both parents. Obviously I'd leave them with their dad to go away on business etc no bother. But you know him and your babysitters and their bond best though.

Original poster
Fressia123 · 06/10/2020 14:28

We had a wonderful trip to Cancun a few years ago and we call that our original "honeymoon" so in that way it's not completely necessary. But we'd love to do the proper wedding night and then go on our honeymoon the following day. Yes, the baby wouldn't really know my family but would.let him settle before we go away on our break. We wouldn't stay more than 4 night away from him.

OP posts:
movingonup20 · 06/10/2020 14:31

Yes, it's part of the deal if you get married after having kids! Anyway honeymoons are from back in the day when people didn't take holidays together, didn't live together and certainly didn't have kids together pre marriage.

movingonup20 · 06/10/2020 14:32

It's just an expensive holiday if you already cohabit

AnneLovesGilbert · 06/10/2020 14:34

Have you spent 4 nights away from him before?

How well do you know the people you’d leave him with?

Tbh since we had DD we’ve known holidays would include her, we’d want her there, for many years to come and I agree that there’s nothing significant about a honeymoon as a thing at this point in your life. But it’s your baby.

ticktockcock · 06/10/2020 14:35

We had a 2 nights away just the two of us in a local ish hotel then had 10 nights in Italy with our 3 year old. I wouldn't enjoy being apart for that long, but it was nice to have a couple of nights!

LadyIronDragon · 06/10/2020 14:35

In your position I'd try to have a night or two after the wedding away somewhere as a couple. Just to connect and decompress after the wedding.

My DSis got married with a nearly 2yo, she and her new husband did a short city break for 2 nights without their DD. They were glad to get back to her of course, but for them it was important to have that time together as a couple after something as major as their wedding day.

Ohalrightthen · 06/10/2020 14:36

Ignore all the pearl clutchers who wouldn't leave their children for more than 20 minutes until they're 25. Presumably your baby knows his family and spends time with them, so i don't see why you wouldnt.

AnneLovesGilbert · 06/10/2020 14:38

@Ohalrightthen

Ignore all the pearl clutchers who wouldn't leave their children for more than 20 minutes until they're 25. Presumably your baby knows his family and spends time with them, so i don't see why you wouldnt.
She’s already said he doesn’t know them, they live in a different country.

And no need to be a dick, OP asked for opinions, she’s presumably open to a variety of them. It’s not pearl clutching to say you wouldn’t leave your one year old with strangers for 4 days in another country. Their son isn’t 25 is he, he’ll be one.

Original poster
Fressia123 · 06/10/2020 14:38

I would leave her with my mum (so his grandma) and her housekeeper and gardener handyman. He'll have a massive garden to play in and lots and love and attention from all three. It would only be a few nights though. The majority of that trip we'd be with my mum at her house (but use it as a springboard to go somewhere else for a few nights.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fressia123 · 06/10/2020 14:40

They're strangers to him.but not to us obviously!

OP posts:
Snipples · 06/10/2020 14:41

My family all live abroad from me and I wouldn't leave my kids with them in this situation. My girls are 2 and 6months. While they've met family a few times they certainly don't know them well enough to stay with them without us. So for me, I wouldn't be able to relax. It's probably not what you're wanting to hear but I'd just bring DC with you.

Original poster
Fressia123 · 06/10/2020 14:47

For the record I'm ok with leaving the baby (and so is his dad) BUT we can always go to Mexico/the Caribbean/US when visiting my family so in some ways it makes it "less" special.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fressia123 · 06/10/2020 14:48

We're actually going to leave the baby with his nanny (at home) as we plan to spend a night a way for my partner's 40th bday.

OP posts:
LilyWater · 06/10/2020 18:16

@MarthaWashingtonsFeralTomcat

I would - but I don't really understand why a honeymoon is such a big deal for a couple with kids, living together etc. Surely it's just a fancy holiday?! A week or two would be too long for my little boy (or even my older kids to be honest) to be without both parents. Obviously I'd leave them with their dad to go away on business etc no bother. But you know him and your babysitters and their bond best though.
Yes exactly, never got it either. The whole point of a honeymoon is that lovely couple-only time immediately after marriage when you don't yet have the responsibility of kids etc. You've put several carts in front of the horse if you've already been living together plus have a kid(s) before marriage so it's not really a "honeymoon" especially if you're taking the child along, it's a normal holiday. Like others, I wouldnt even consider taking my baby along if I wanted proper couple time with my husband (how many times in your family life would you have that opportunity otherwise?!) If I wasn't comfortable leaving them for a certain period of time, I'd just shorten my holiday time with my husband to whatever duration we were both happy with so we could be alone.
uglyface · 06/10/2020 18:25

We left DD at 13mo for two nights with my mum, and are hoping to do the same at Easter when she’ll be 2.5. Happy to do that as she adores Grandma and knows her well (despite living far away).

Personally I’d be tempted to save the money and have a proper child free, guilt free week away somewhere luxurious when your child is older and Covid is over.

Gilda152 · 06/10/2020 19:15

We left DD for 5 nights with exh parents when she was 7 months old and she seems to have got through it ok 18 years later (although I was in bits with instant regret)

Original poster
Fressia123 · 06/10/2020 19:26

For us is part of the celebration of finally becoming husband and wife. We've thought of also going to Scotland and even take the dog with us. It's more about what it represents than the actual trip itself.

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 06/10/2020 21:21

@Ohalrightthen

Ignore all the pearl clutchers who wouldn't leave their children for more than 20 minutes until they're 25. Presumably your baby knows his family and spends time with them, so i don't see why you wouldnt.
Because the baby doesn't know them.

And I don't think trying to get them used to people for a few days and then leaving is a very good idea

Nanny0gg · 06/10/2020 21:22

@Fressia123

They're strangers to him.but not to us obviously!
So why would you leave your DC with strangers?

Go visit and let them get to know each other - that sounds great. But then bugger off for 4 days? No.