Would you take your 18month old to your honeymoon?

[Fressia123]

If the virus allows it we're trying to see where to go in honeymoon. If we go to the Caribbean/US/Mexico my family is happy to look after the baby (they're based on that side of the world) but if we decide to go somewhere in Europe we'd have to take the baby with us. As much as it sounds nice, it doesn't sound that romantic? I'd really love to go to Paris but surely it would be more of a family trip than anything else.

With no local family on either side I think we have to bite the bullet at some point. His DM is uncomfortable about anything beyond a couple of hours but mine is more than happy. I'm sure the baby would be happy. If I could test it beforehand I would, believe me.

Yes, I’m more than happy for him to spend one night with someone he knows very well, but only if I am fairly close by if I need to pick him up. At 18 months I would apply the same rules. I wouldn’t be comfortable leaving the country without him until he was an older teen and fairly independent.

Due to get married next year - COVID allowing. My brother and sister in law will be having the kids but only for 2 nights.

Kids will be 2 and 12, and we will only be an hour, two hours away max. I just couldn't and wouldn't want to be away for longer.

I have left DS before, for a week when he was 18months old. He spent half the time with his dad and half the time with my parents, while I went to New York.

Do what's right for you, and enjoy!

When you say "nanny", do you mean your DHs mum, or a paid member of staff? Because if you've got an actual nanny, why can't she either come with you, or stay at home full-time with the baby while you and DP go to Paris for a couple of days?

We did, two weeks in Cornwall but, if we'd had someone to look after our dd and the opportunity to go to Mexico or Paris, I'd have taken them up on it ina heart beat

Depends on you and depends on the baby, if you’re comfortable with it and he’s an easy going kid then why not, you’ll know best whether he’s likely to settle easily with strangers and if you’ll be able to enjoy yourself being away from him.

DD1 was almost 2 when we got married, she came to the Maldives with us for 2 weeks and had her 2nd birthday there and the staff made a massive fuss of her. It was an amazing holiday and we wouldn’t have done it any differently but we didn’t really have anyone offering to look after her for any length of time and she was an extremely clingy/anxious baby so it would have been hard.

13 years later DH and I still talk about when we’ll go back just the two of us though

His nanny is only 20. She's great but I don't think I'd trust her with leaving the baby with her for more than 12 hours. We're staying somewhere in town anyways so we'll be within reach

I did, we took both out DC (4 and 18 months at the time) with us. Mind you we were going to go to Italy for two weeks but it was really expensive and we couldn't find anyone willing to watch the kids for a fortnight so in the end we decided, sod it, and went camping in Cornwall for ten days instead and took the kids. We'll go to Italy without the kids for our ten year anniversary instead!

It was actually really nice to share our honeymoon with them - it was a special trip even if it doesn't sound very exciting and it is lovely to have them in those memories.

Yes because if I already had a baby it wouldn't be a ' honeymoon' itcwould because nice holiday.

I like going away with my family and in particular wouldn't enjoy spending money on something without the DC. Your baby will be fine if you leave her with trusted family members but you will miss her and she will miss you.

Different time zone, totally new people, threat of countries going into lockdown and getting stuck in a different country. You’d be better leaving him with the nanny for a long weekend and booking into a posh spa hotel. Or booking a nice trip in Europe and taking nanny with you? Then you can have couple time and family time.

Taking the nanny sounds like the worst of both worlds. Of course if there's another threat of a lockdown we wouldn't go anywhere. We were set on going somewhere in Mexico but we've been there but haven't been to Scotland nor France together and both seem appealing (although the baby would have to come) and that's why I'm undecided.

Yes because if I already had a baby it wouldn't be a ' honeymoon' itcwould because nice holiday

What makes it a honeymoon is that it follows a wedding. Nothing to do with whether you have kids or not.

So couples who get married in say their 50s or 60s with grown up kids don't go on honeymoon? Just nice holidays because they've already had children?

In your position I'd save up for a fancy couples holiday in a few years time. I wouldn't leave a child that age with people they don't know, certainly not for that long and in an unfamiliar place.

I wouldn't want to leave an 18 month old. But we are all different

Nope! My mum is looking after our 2yo when we go on our honeymoon

@AnnaSW1 exactly!

Also the question was not "would you leave an 18month old and go on honeymoon?" I know the answer to that one. It's more if you'd take him

I'd just have a night or 2 away and then do it properly in a year or 2.
Or take your little one with you.

I would happily leave my child ( and did, my kids are adults now) if they had a relationship with that person. My mum had the children from a being a few months old while we went away either for work or pleasure from being a few months old.
However I wouldn't consider doing it if she had only briefly met them.
Absolutely no way. In my mind a very young child relies on the people they know for security and they get to know strangers ( nannies, grandparents who don't Iive near by, etc) incrementally until trust is built up and they know their mum will return ( ok shoot me down if you disagree just my opinion) I would hate to think of a young child wondering who the strangers were and when was mum coming back.

I do think it's different if there is a good bond and connection already there.

OP! I've just seen your last reply and reiterated that the point was Woukd you take your child's with you? My answer is. Yes and we did! No regrets.

I'd definitely take them. My toddlers are the most interesting people I know.. and their dad feels the same.

Like I mentioned because of our own very particular family situation this baby is going to grow without any extended family. So waiting until they bond is out of the question, simply it will never happen. He'll see his grandmother's, uncles and aunties once a year if he's lucky (on both sides).

We're both happy to leave him with my mum, he'll be safe and we know she'll spoil him.

It's more that we're undecided about the destination and one would definitely mean we'd have to take him. I'd love to go to Argentina, but he doesn't think wine tours is the palace for an 18month old. So we're not doing that one.

@ Fressia123

Do what you are comfortable and happy with. It doesn't matter what anyone else would do, it only matters what you are happy doing.

Everyone has their individual parenting style and their individual child, so what suits you and your child is what would be best.