Boyfriend spending less time with me because he 'doesn't like apartments'

[Petals23]

I'm with my boyfriend 4 years. Live an hour apart, him in a house, me an apartment.

I've felt for a while now our relationship is fizzling out, seeing less of each other etc, and he seems to be spending less time in my place.

Anyway we had a chat about things over the weekend and to my surprise he said he doesn't like apartments or spending time in them and he gets bored.

Surely if he valued spending time with me it shouldn't matter where we are?

Sorry OP but it's so obvious

Cowardly of him not to be straightforward but end it and stop letting him humiliate you with these excuses.

Sounds like a really odd excuse But he is obviously lying

Next thing he'll tell you is that he can't see you on Saturday because he has to wash his hair.

Stick a fork in it. It's done.

Unfortunately you've been dumped. He's just neglected to let you know.

So if you move into a house he'll spend more time with you?
Dump the pathetic creature and move on with your life.
You can do much better

Urgh how cowardly of him to not just be straight up.

Get rid.

Tbf that’s one of the more original excuses I’ve heard.

That's so pathetic! I'd he loved you and wanted to spend time with you he'd do it anywhere! I think he is giving you a message about how much he values you and the relationship. It is very little. You deserve better op.

Good grief! Sorry but get rid and find someone who is interested in you not your abode!

How old are you both? Four years is a long time to not be living together, or planning to. Does he ask you to go to his house instead of meeting at your apartment?

Sadly I think he’s not that invested in the relationship, after a bit of a chat, I would’ve expected more out of it after four years.

He's trying to make you dump him as he does not want take responsibility for dumping you and being the bad guy.

Personally, I'd ghost him. Twat.

This is all so obvious, op. He's a cowardly twat just biding his time until you dump him. You should oblige because you certainly are wasting your time.

"Surely if he valued spending time with me it shouldn't matter where we are?"

Absolutely right. Sounds like - as you say - it's fizzling out. A successful long-term relationship is not venue dependent!

Call his bluff. Tell him you've put an offer in on a house.

Seriously. LTB.

Probably one of the most embarrassingly bad excuses not to spend time with someone I’ve ever heard! He’s not worth your time.

Yes its obviously a big fat fib. What do you think the real reason is?

If he was into it he wouldn’t care if you were in a caravan.

I think what he really means is that he’s bored with you/the relationship and being in your flat compounds it. He’s taking the coward’s way out and watering it down.

Sorry if that’s blunt. Just my take on it. I wish you well.

OP, read back your posts about him from the last six months or so. This relationship is not healthy or happy, it's time to move on.

He's not that into you, not apartments!

What an utter twerp he is, OP. Dump him and move on.

Wow... I give him props for being original. But he must think you’re dense to believe you would fall for it.

He REALLY wants you to dump him so do it and kick him back to the curb of his house.

Hahaha I have heard it all now. Not laughing at you OP but rather the silly excuse. He's a waste of your time.

I actually don’t like being in an apartment especially if they are high up or small. I couldn’t stay in my mother’s old apartment as I felt like the walls were closing in.

@PatsyJStone we're mid 40s+. Never lived together, no talk about it. I've always lived here, it's my home and I like it. I suppose I'm a bit shocked by this statement. Is this now a big issue in our relationship?