Bad teeth, turn off?

[Spud91]

I feel like I’m being massively shallow

Been on a couple of dates with someone, he’s lovely, kind and generous. Has treated me well both times..... but he has bad teeth.

We met OLD and all the photos I’ve seen of him he’s smiling with his mouth closed. He has two crooked teeth at the front, two pushed back and then two coming out of the gums inbetween these.

I feel like this is something that is going to put me off him, but is it stupid to give up on something which could be good for such a superficial reason??

If you're not attracted to him, then you're not attracted to him. It's not a choice you make - it just is what it is.

If it's a big enough physical factor to turn you off him, then you can't really beat yourself up about it. I just know as someone with pretty wonky teeth I wouldn't want to be with someone who felt it was such a big issue, so I'd say do your best to let him down gently (or evaluate how much it actually matters to you). He may well be having a similar thought process about you, so I'd recommend being honest about it! x

Well, this early in the game, you need to be attracted to someone a d if you're not attracted to him due to his teeth, then that's that.

I'd struggle more with poor dental hygiene than crooked teeth but this is about you and your feelings

If he takes care of them, I can't really see the problem.

I think you either fancy someone or you don't and that's what it boils down to.

I've recently started dating again and definately notice myself paying a lot more attention to teeth. Because kissing is so important in dating and you don't want an ugly mouth coming in at you when in such a romantic moment lol.

I think two dates is enough to know whether or not it is something you can overcome. If it's still bothering you, he isn't for you. Cut him lose.

Not shallow to decide what does and doesn’t float your boat.

He could always get them fixed op.

It would be a deal breaker for me. Teeth are so easily fixable these days.

Total turnoff. It's a dealbreaker for me.

Yeah, teeth have always been a non-negotiable for me. Perfectly straight and white, with no visible plaque between them. Anything else I just never could look past.

There will be things about me that aren’t everyone’s cup of tea and I’m fine with that.

bad teeth and bad shoes are dealbreakers.

I mentioned this on another thread. I have decent teeth and my happiest relationships have been with people who have pretty poor teeth. They had terrible dental phobias. I appreciate it's not for everyone but it's never put me off anyone if the overall personality/look attracted me

Exactly

Yes, Teeth are very fixable. My old chairman had very bad teeth and his DW decided enough was enough. £70,000 later they are perfect!

You like what you like. I dont have straight teeth and know for some thats a deal breaker. I have my own deal breakers so each to their own!!

@Otterhound i would say my exs never had that sort of money to fix their teeth!

It's definitely a factor and it depends how bad they are. A little bit crooked I could deal with, but if they're all over the place then I'd always be very aware of them. It's something I became more aware of since I got my own sorted.

I don’t feel quite so bad after some of the comments!

I think if he wanted to get them fixed he would have done it when he was younger? I had quite crooked teeth and wore braces as a teenager. He’s the same age as me (mid 30s) and I had free dentistry to get them fixed. Now he’d have to pay for it, it’d take more for him to fix it, I don’t know if he would. I don’t feel like it’s something I could ask him either without offending him.

Esha, it was said tongue in cheek to the posted teeth as are easily fixable.

They fixable are but its expensive. If i wanted beautifully straight, pure white teeth as per DBML I’d be looking at £10,000+

Op I can't answer for you love but it puts me right off. We are what we are. Teeth are important to me and I've had mine bleached in the past.
The uk doesn't have a strong culture for perfect teeth though sadly

Sorry but that's not a good sign. I dated someone who was hairier than a gorilla and normally I would find that gross but I liked him that much I didn't care. You wouldn't be put off my the teeth if you liked him enough.

Bad teeth and really badly bitten-down fingernails would be dealbreakers for me.

Crooked teeth are fine.
Yellow, brown or black teeth are not
Or ones with loads of plaque that look manky
As long as they're clean it's fine

Everyone's different in how much something puts them off. You don't have to ask anyone if it's ok not to be that into him, ask our 'permission.'
If you don't fancy him, you don't fancy him and should move on to the next. xxx

@Otterhound sorry! i took it as tongue in cheek. I think I feel sensitive about it as I know people who have bad teeth and can't afford to fix them!

@Otterhound

Unless you’re lucky enough to be born with great gnashers! Then they’re free :)

You like what you like and you can’t force attraction. Sounds like you’re just not really attracted to him generally. As long as you’d be fine with a man rejecting you because he preferred slimmer waists or nicer breasts or whatever other physical feature is also very changeable then I think its fine to reject somebody for crooked teeth.

Yeah teeth are so easily fixable if you’ve a spare 4/6k if not more hanging around 🙄

Poor oral hygiene is a dealbreaker for me, crooked teeth not so much. My last partner had crooked but scrupulously clean teeth, it’s not something that bothers me personally I do think you’re being overly shallow.