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Original poster

Was he coming on to me or am I reading too much into it?

32 replies

CringeInwardly · 04/10/2020 21:53

I'm in a new job, somebody else who works there came over to introduce himself and chat to me today. We work on the same floor but do different jobs.

Polite introduction, spoke about work for a minute or so then went back to what it was we were doing.

He sought me out again later on for a chat on my break, general talk about how miserable the weather is etc. I mentioned how I would usually cycle in but opted not to due to the rain. He said he cycles too and how if it weren't for the weather he would join me on a ride.

He then asked if I was married, after I said no he dropped in to the conversation that he was single.

He was definitely coming on to me wasn't he?

I'm in my 20's and he's about 50.

OP posts:
Aerial2020 · 04/10/2020 21:57

He's 50???

Dollyrocket · 04/10/2020 22:00

That’s quite forward and would have made me feel quite uncomfortable. We’re you alone?

Original poster
CringeInwardly · 04/10/2020 22:03

About 50 yes, but that's based only on how old he looks as I don't know exactly how old he is.

I'm a regular poster btw but name changed for this as it's a bit embarrassing.

We weren't alone no there were others around but not close enough to hear the exchange.

OP posts:
londongirl12 · 04/10/2020 22:15

@Dollyrocket

That’s quite forward and would have made me feel quite uncomfortable. We’re you alone?
It's terrible we have to feel awkward. He could have just being friendly? Or could genuinely like you? How are men meant to ask out people these days if not to start general chit chat?
Original poster
CringeInwardly · 04/10/2020 22:21

I didn't feel awkward in the moment as it didn't dawn on me that he was being anything other than friendly, it's only afterwards something clicked and I thought ahh he was showing interest

OP posts:
Givemeabreak88 · 04/10/2020 22:28

50 Confused

Original poster
CringeInwardly · 04/10/2020 22:31

Approximately yes.

Sorry to sound rude but why are people confused by that?

OP posts:
Redcups64 · 04/10/2020 22:34

Ahh bless him, he might just want someone to go on a bike ride with but also maybe not.

You have to have some serious confidence to be around 50 and hit on someone in there 20’s.

Tanfastic · 04/10/2020 22:34

I don't think anyone is confused more shocked at the age difference. I was expecting you to say 25 or 30.

Original poster
CringeInwardly · 04/10/2020 22:37

He seems confident yes, he's a personal trainer so looks well for his age but definitely not much younger than 50

OP posts:
damnthatanxiety · 04/10/2020 22:38

If try to find out if he regularly hits on the newbie

Savemyusername · 04/10/2020 22:39

Would you be interested?

rattlemehearties · 04/10/2020 22:41

He's coming on too strong and you should be wary IMO.

Aerial2020 · 04/10/2020 22:41

I think people are asking about his age because it sound creepy

And no doubt all the women that have stories of dating older men will come out and it's not like that with all of them but it reads that way here.

Original poster
CringeInwardly · 04/10/2020 22:42

If try to find out if he regularly hits on the newbie

Yes that's definitely pause for thought. I'll keep my ears open Grin

Would you be interested?

Not really no, it's not even the age gap it's me not wanting any complications at work.

OP posts:
Lolalovesroses · 04/10/2020 22:46

Do you look older than in your 20s? He asked if you were married rather than if you had a boyfriend, made me think he may think you're a little older.

BitOfFun · 04/10/2020 22:46

Yeah, just avoid him!

Hiccupiscal · 04/10/2020 22:50

Meh. Maybe he was, maybe he wasn't.
Youre not interested, so be polite, professional and distant.
Don't meet up with him outside of work, try not to be alone with him, if you don't need to be.
Maintain a distance will mean no room for confusion.

Original poster
CringeInwardly · 04/10/2020 23:00

I don't think I look that much older than I am (mid 20's) and still get asked for ID on occasion, either way it's a bit forward isn't it asking somebody if they're married.

I'm not worried at all, I just wasn't sure whether I was reading into something that wasn't there - or not.

OP posts:
Givemeabreak88 · 04/10/2020 23:05

I’m shocked because it’s a 50 year old man hitting on (as it sounds) a women in her 20s yes that is creepy!

newnameforthis123 · 04/10/2020 23:09

@Givemeabreak88

I’m shocked because it’s a 50 year old man hitting on (as it sounds) a women in her 20s yes that is creepy!
Agreed. Especially in the workplace.
OldWomanSaysThis · 04/10/2020 23:12

He might be the office predator getting in there before the other office predator.

Original poster
CringeInwardly · 04/10/2020 23:13

I'm under no illusion that there's anything special about me, he's probably got form for it

OP posts:
NameChange84 · 04/10/2020 23:13

Ewwwwwwww. He’s a chancer.

I’m in my mid 30s now and it’s only recently that it dawned on me that all those “nice” men similarly aged to my Dad that “looked out for me” and took the time to make sure I was settling in ok etc when I was 18 - 25 where actually trying to sleep with me and when I was being “nice and polite”, giving them the time of day, they were arrogant enough to think it meant I fancied them when I saw them as positively ancient and in no way sexually attractive. I didn’t for a second think they had any interest in me at the time, it’s only as time has went on they’ve either got explicitly inappropriate with me (now that I’m apparently “30 and dirty and not an innocent young girl anymore Hmm”) or someone has said something in the years since, (“ugh yeah, when you were 19 or 20, Gary was obsessed with trying to fuck you” when Gary’s lovely wife had hired me to be their babysitter whilst I was a student). Middle aged men can really be disgusting towards young women.

Be careful, he sounds very forward. He shouldn’t have been asking you personal questions. If it escalates, nip it in the bud with HR.

newnameforthis123 · 04/10/2020 23:27

@CringeInwardly

I'm under no illusion that there's anything special about me, he's probably got form for it
Even if it was just you don't you think a man of 50+ coming onto someone in their 20s in the workplace is inappropriate?
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