My ex sent me a friend request, and I’ve accepted it, but he hasn’t been in touch?

[Mj2010]

Long story short he vanished several years ago without any explanation.

I sent him a couple messages because I was worried as everything seemed fine, but he never answered, and then a couple weeks or so later he blocked me on everything.

We knew eachother for 5 years.

Fast forward to 3 months ago, I get a message from him saying how sorry he was and how he still thinks about me... I’m not going lie, I was furious. Then he sends a friend request.

I deleted his message, I ignored his request, I stayed the hell away from FB for quite some time.

Plus I was in a relationship at the time.

But then that ended, pretty badly, and I decided to accept my ex’s friend request...

It’s been 2 months and I’ve not heard from him.

It’s like he’s playing games... why would he be doing this...

I thought he would have spoken about what he said in his apology that he sent at the same time and the friend request. He said that he was in Spain and that he wasn’t able to get home but that he thinks about me often and that he didn’t think I wanted to talk to him so that’s why he didn’t get in touch.

Yes, but now that you are in touch, how is he suggesting you keep going?

OP, this man is playing you like a fiddle. Why on earth you want to "do something" with him is beyond me. He treated you AWFULLY. His excuse for treating you awfully is a load of rubbish. His behaviour now is doing NOTHING to make amends for his previous treatment of you.

Please stop handing him all the power - block him and write him off. Leave the situation now on your terms. He is never going to be the man you want him to be. Have you talked with your friends in real life about this?

No no no. This is not good at all. You need to have higher standards.

OP Please do ask yourself why you are spending so much mental energy on someone who just sees you as an option for when it's convenient for him? Aren't you worth more than this?🌹

I can’t quite work out why you’re even giving him the time of day. You were together for half a decade before he decided to ghost you entirely, blocking you on every platform- what a wanker! Now he suddenly wants to meet up with you again because he still has feelings for you? Nah, fuck that.

You need to find some self esteem and sack him off for good. Block him like he did you.

OP, sadly from experience I know what you're experiencing.

The simple fact is , you're clearly with a narcissist who ghosted you, then got in touch years later because his latest supply wasn't working out and he probably knew you still held a candle for him.

I imagine that during your time together there were cycles of crappy behaviour - you were the centre of his universe at the beginning (love bombing) everything you liked so did he (mirroring), slowly but surely those high emotions ebbed away, he started letting you down, telling ridiculous pointless fibs (devaluing), then he simply upped and left with no explanation (discarded). He will have had another "supply" whilst he was devaluing you, love bombing her at the same time as discarding you.
Things didn't work out with her, she was discarded, he (classic narc) hoovers you (his ex-supply) with false words of remorse, sucks you back in and bam! you're in the same fucked up head space again. Wondering what you did, what does he really want, you want to be believe he's genuine. He's not. Run for the hills.

He will never love you the way you want, and more importantly, the way you deserve.

Look up NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) I can almost guarantee you'll research it and it will have his name written all over it. I thought no way was this true, people like this don't exist. But I was wrong, the information was bang on, it's like "they" have a handbook to work from. It's almost as if they follow a script and I can see it all too clearly in your situation now.

Never mind unfriend him. Go completely no contact. No phone contact, texts, messages, interaction on any social media platform. It takes a lot of internal personal healing to recover from narcissistic abuse but you will get there as long as you have absolutely nothing to do with him.