How much do you have in common with your partner?

[Ruby0707]

He had just said in passing that we don't have much in common. It has made me feel a bit weird but does that really matter if our values are the same? Views on marriage / kids / religion etc.

Loads, like almost all the same shared interests, both work in creative jobs, foodies, cycling, dogs, design. I'd say the only thing we don't share is a love of football. I can't stand it.

I guess quite a bit.

So long together now I think we have morphed into one 😱

Absolutely nothing.
Somehow we get along. Sometimes it’s through gritted teeth.

Do you have a lot to say to each other? I think that's what matters, if you feel like you can talk, laugh together and are interested in each other.

Loads. We are quite different personality/temperament-wise, but we like lots of the same things. It probably makes us less inclined to socialise I suppose, because we are quite happy hanging out together all the time!

I think it depends how he said it, what circumstances? How long have you been together?

Not much but clearly enough as we've been married over 30 years . Core values are very similar - marriage, children, faith, money (very important to have the same approach to money I think). But our political opinions are way apart - we just agree to differ! Our hobbies and interests are very different too.

Values about 95%
Interests about 50%
Friends about 10%

Enough to have something to talk about, not enough to spend 24/7 together. The right amount I'd say.

It depends, some couples thrive being joint at the hip whilst others do by doing a lot of things separately. Personally a mix of both is healthy. We have differ preferences for music, films etc and it keeps things fresh as there always some we can talk about and introduce each other to that we wouldn't normally have considered but we definitely share the same values.

we are both married to each other, both love each other, both think we're soul mates.

Same sense of humour just about gets us through most other differences!

I'd say we have 60% n common, and importantly, it covers the values, fundamental beliefs, and expectations.

The other 40% keeps things interesting !

Together 10 years, same values, same sense of humour, absolutely no interests in common although I at a push I will watch old black and white war movies just so we watch something together.

We have some interests in common but not everything
I don't think its a problem to like different things

Absolutely nothing, couldn't be more different. It's increasingly obvious with every passing year.

But we love each other, and nothing will separate us.

Nothing in common, different values, but I like the fact that we are so different. It means I know far more than I would like about certain things, but I have broader horizons as a result.

The guy I’m seeing has very little in common and he has mentioned it before. It used to bother me when he said it but then I realize it’s the truth. I guess it’s not a big deal but I do miss being with someone that likes some of the same tv shows and other interests that I like. To me it’s one way I emotionally bond with someone.

Well, we don't agree on putting all crisps in one big bowl to pass around versus giving everyone their own bowl to fill up.

Besides that, on most core values (family, money) we are on the same page.

We have different interests in some ways (hobbies, careers, personalities - though our personalities are very complementary, neither of us would ever want to be with someone like ourselves).

But what you are talking about is values. Those are the fundamental things a relationship is built on, not ‘interests’. In terms of how we see marriage, what we wanted our family to be like, how we want to address religion (I’m religious, he’s atheist), he very much agree. All of that was part of the premarital counselling we did with our wedding officiant (who was non religious btw). If you aren’t on the same page with the big things, it’s not going to work long term.

Values / outlook on life
Running / fitness
TV
Film
Enjoy visiting new places, family days out etc.
There's more but I can't think on the spot.

Well, I think if one wants to be married and one doesn't, one wants kids and one doesn't ... Those kind of differences are hard to overcome because they're dealbreakers really.

But if one wants to wait for marriage, the other wants to marry now or one wants two kids, the other wants three.... those differences can be overcome. What kind of differences are they?

My OH and I have values and goals that are similar... Sense of humour, books and movies are also similar ... Things like hobbies and how we like to relax - they couldn't be more different.

We are similar ish. Biggest difference is that he is far more intellectual and intelligent than I am. Also his background is more middle class.

Values, morals, each other, cheese, same sex drive. Those are the only things we really have in common, I think it works because we take an interest in the others likes and hobbies, he’s more techy geek photographer and I’m more trash tv show

Not loads, sometimes we sit in silence just watching tv lol but then we have spent 24 hours a day together for at least the last 6 months lol. Not much to talk about
We have similar values. Both like horror films, going to the theatre, board games and some of the same TV shows. The main thing is that he sits and watches hollyoaks with me every night when he hadn't even seen it before we got together haha.
Sometimes I wish things were more exciting but with 2 young kids and not much money nowadays things aren't like they used to be. We love each other though

We have enough in common to have a decent amount of shared interests and enough seperate things to give each other some space. We both like similer music, films, walking, board games, jigsaws, food, holidays, politics etc.

He lives for sport and I just am not interested but I can enjoy his enjoyment of it. I love art, ballet, literature, classical music and he's not so bothered but again he enjoys indulging me.