Constant nitpicking from BF. Am I in the wrong?

[SilentG]

Hi all,
Just want a bit of advice here as to whether I am overeacting here or do I have a right to feel upset?
My non live in BF is extremely house proud but it is starting to get to the point where it is affecting the relationship negatively as I feel like I cant do anything right when I am round there.
Today for example I have been told "make sure when youre brushing your hair it doesnt go on the floor", "why are you wearing flip flops in the house, you will bring dirt in", "you havent put your empty coffee cup in the dishwasher", "can you tidy up your overnight bag as you have left things out of it", "you have left an empty glass by the side of the bed", after making dinner "you have left the food containers out on the side"
I may be slightly more relaxed in terms of cleaning things up, but I am in no means a total slob. Im very happy to tidy away food containers after eating, i might leave an empty coffee cup on the table and then shower and get dressed before coming down and clearing things up that I have used but then I am instantly pounced on for not clearing up straight away.
I have spoken to him about it and how it makes me feel to be constantly "reminded" to do things.
As soon as I arrive at his I get "make sure you wash your hands" and then 5 minutes later "did you wash your hands?"
It makes me feel like a child being told off every 5 minutes. He see's it as me not respecting his home and tidying up after myself and that if i was just a bit more concious of my surroundings, he wouldn't have to keep doing it
It is making me feel like a total incompetent idiot everytime he "reminds" me to do something and I am starting to resent him.

@Staringpoodleplottingrottie

Totally missing the point here but if it’s only a three minute drive surely it’s walkable...

What does that have to do with... well anything? OP is perfectly entitled to drive wherever she likes. Maybe she likes to drive there because she's pulling long shifts doing tiring work every day. Or maybe she just doesn't want to walk. She's getting shit for letting her hair fall on the floor when brushing it and now you want to have a pop at her using the car when she could walk instead? ODFOD.

OP, this will get worse if you continue the relationship. Imagine this shit every day, with everything you do. Constantly.

Personally an instruction to wash my hands and then a question 5 minutes later as to whether I did it would have me picking up my bag and walking straight out the door. You are not a child. It is up to you.

Blimey that’s one raw nerve you’ve got over a three minute drive. Sorry but driving three minutes for a distance that’s clearly walkable is ridiculous for an able bodied person. The beauty of an open public forum is we can all express our opinions, and if you bothered to read my earlier post I agree with the OP here that this man sounds ridiculous

@SilentG honestly OP run while you can (or drive away as you're perfectly entitled to do!)

Where as I couldn’t be with someone like this, you are. And you know it.

So why don’t you just do it when you’re there? What is the point of consistently not doing it, knowing how he will react.

He’s not going to change, this is his boundaries in his home. You’re fully aware of this, so either do it or don’t go. What you cannot do is continue to not do what are his clear requirements. It doesn’t matter how unreasonable they are, either go and do as he requests and tidy up after yourself immediately or don’t go at all.

Well at least if he insists on your overnight bag being tidy and packed at all times, it won't take you long to grab it and go.

Im in the unfortunate position of having a retired dh who was never like this for 35 years. He obviously has too much time on his hands.
It drives me crazy all his micromanagement.
In your case end it whilst you can.