It’s a birthday one

[BDOne]

I had a bit of a minor argument with my boyfriend last night. I didn’t think it was anything serious and it was more jokey than anything else.

However, today is my birthday and he hasn’t sent me a birthday message. We work together and he has emailed me on the work email about some work matter so I know he’s working. We don’t live together.

I don’t want to be childish but this has hurt my feelings. We don’t do cards or presents because he doesn’t see the need but I’d expect a call (or even a quick text if he was busy).

It almost feels like he is punishing me. Am I being a drama queen or is this rubbish boyfriend behaviour?

He's a rubbish boyfriend for not buying you a present or a card

Rubbish boyfriend, despite a bit of an argument he should acknowledge your birthday. Never mind have you got a friend to catch up with after work, celebrate it with people that care?

Thanks - all of my friends have acknowledged my birthday and I have plans for tonight with my family.

We don’t do cards or presents because he doesn’t see the need

What a controlling twat

He sounds like an asshole, have you been together long? He doesn't sound like a great catch

I don’t want to be childish but this has hurt my feelings. We don’t do cards or presents because he doesn’t see the need

It's not childish to be hurt by something hurtful.

Why does his opinion that there's "no need" to mark birthdays with cards or presents, outweigh your (and most people's) opinion that it's nice to do for each other? What makes him the arbitrator of what's needed?

He sounds a miserable dick.

Arbiter, not arbitrator

Was it his decision not to do birthdays? Was it a conversation? How long have you been together? Does he do birthdays with anyone else.... Parents etc?

Oh and he's being passive aggressive on your birthday because of a minor disagreement. I agree that's he's being an arsehole.

And HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

We don’t do cards or presents because he doesn’t see the need

Are you alright with that? That would be a no go for me!

No cards or presents?!

I 'm not one for spending obscene amounts on birthdays for partners but a card and a small gift would definitely be expected! Or at least a nice meal out or something.

What a misery.

We’ve been together for a few years. The first year was fine but then he started to complain about present buying.

He knows I love buying and receiving presents but isn’t interested

Has he still not wished you a happy birthday?

He sounds such a misery not wanting to give a gift which for most would be a pleasure to treat someone they loved.

Happy birthday 🥳 I hope you have a lovely with your family.

Well then he sounds like a dick. He knows you like cards and presents but doesn’t care.

"We don’t do cards or presents because he doesn’t see the need but I’d expect a call"

Why is up to him? How you mark your birthday is about what you want, not what he wants. If he loved you, he would make an effort for your birthday - including cards and presents. Will he make a fuss of you in other ways on your birthday? Is he attentive and kind in other respects? Or does this reflect his general behaviour? (I'm guessing the latter).

Dump the stupid bastard, he can't be arsed to make the slightest bit of effort for you and is using this "argument" as an excuse and you don't do cards or presents because again he can't be arsed.
Do you want to be going out with someone who cannot be bothered to make even the slightest effort you?
A card and a dinner date is absolutely zero effort and he can't even be bothered with that.
Your entire life with him will be all based on his needs never yours.
Relationships with men like these are a disaster. Aim higher.

What a miserable shit. Is he really worth being with the other 364 days of the year. Or is he mean and penny pinching and uncaring all the time?

Happy birthday OP 🎉 🎂 🥳

He can choose not to celebrate his birthday, why does he also get to choose not to celebrate yours?

Happy birthday OP, I hope you have a lovely time celebrating with people who truly deserve your company.
No, you aren't being childish. He sounds horrific.
This isn't a WWYD, but.. Personally I'd see if there was some sob story or massive surprise to redeem himself, otherwise I personally wouldn't be able to get over this feeling of hurt.

Best Birthday present - dump his lazy unthoughtful ass.

Happy Birthday 🥳

He knows you love to buy and receive presents, yet he won't even do that for you.

Did he stage that argument last night so that he had a good excuse for not celebrating your birthday today? He knew it was important to you, didn't he?

I think this refusal to buy a card or present for a loved one is often linked to other things - it's hard to think of a nice, kind, decent man who loves you behaving like that.

Bin him

@BDOne

We’ve been together for a few years. The first year was fine but then he started to complain about present buying.

He knows I love buying and receiving presents but isn’t interested

What a shitty attitude! Why is his opinion on gifts and cards more important that anyone else's? Who decreed him King of the world?

Have a lovely birthday with your family OP and get straight on with dumping this selfish cretin tomorrow x

We don’t do cards or presents because he doesn’t see the need

You have agency over your life OP.

If this isn't something you'd naturally feel the same about (as most people wouldn't) then it's ok for you to decide it means you aren't compatible...

It's such a shitty attitude. He won't even get a card because he "doesn't see the need" even though it would make you happy?

£2-3 isn't worth making you happy?

Come on OP he sounds like an absolute prick.

"We don’t do cards or presents because he doesn’t see the need"

How long have you been together?
He sounds like a prick and I'd be fucking him off.