Who pays for meals out if you’re in a long term relationship/marriage where has up to x10 more money than you (inclusive of salary, property, savings etc)?

[Kizzle510]

Who pays for meals out if you’re in a long term relationship/marriage where has up to x10 more money than you (inclusive of salary, property, savings etc)? I’m not asking if there’s a rule as I know there isn’t but would be interesting to hear from couples with that much financial difference esp if you’re not living together but either way.

My DH earns much more than me as I've been either a stay at home mum or working part time. Since we married, we have only had a joint account between us, so the money is ours and we spend as a team. There is no his or mine.

We have a joint account (opened when we married 40 years ago) so we both pay. Just depends which one of us actually uses our card.

ALL the money that either of us gets, apart from birthday or Christmas present money, is OUR money.

When we married I was the higher earner then DH was. From 2011 until earlier this year I didn't work at all because of ill health and was entitled to no benefits whatsoever so bringing no money in. I am now getting my state pension.

DH got a pretty large inheritance a few years ago and it all went into our account for us both to spend

One pot for everything that comes in and goes out. We'd let each other know of any big spends £50+...

I earn a lot more than DH. So I pay for all family holidays, nights out, house stuff, car, kids school fees, childcare, and extras.
Basic utility bills and mortgage are split. He has enough left over to spend on his own leisure for the month and for his own savings (although I look after it all, I make sure we both pay equal in and he has just as much in his name in savings, but I have quite a lot more in my pension).

I don't mind at all paying for more things as I still have my own disposable income and so does he. What I have left over is a few hundred quid more than he does every month but not a massive % more. I need it for Botox

We don't see it as my money and your money. But I do feel that as the higher earner I have more freedom to spend on what I want without checking with him very much at all.

We are in exactly this situation. I would say DH pays for more meals than I do, but he also tends to pay for the more expensive meals too. So I might get lunch one day and he will pay for dinner next time we are out. We don't keep count though.

I suppose technically I pay for everything as we put all spending on a joint credit card which I pay off in full each month. Genuinely see it all as family money though.

DH earns 8X my salary so he pays for holidays and days out. On a self catering holiday I pay for all the food. When abroad I pay for food and souvenirs. If we go to a restaurant we take it in turns to pay. Takeaways on Friday nights we each pay every other week.
Even before we got married it was always 50/50 now with 3 kids in tow and him earning more it's more 70/30

@Purpleorange1 would not 70:30 be fair if he earned 2.3x not 8x what you earn

We put all the money in a pot and then its our money. There is no concept of DH money or my money, its just our money. Been like that since we got married

He earns 3 times as much as me but always complains I don't pay my way so I pay for what I can afford (sometimes I bit more 😬) to keep the peace

Whoever gets to their wallet first!
I’d say we both tend to pay out the same amount.
I’m the higher earner.

@ItWasntMyFault that’s always a huge red flag. Gold digger according to who? Him? Was the money made during the marriage? She married him because he had money? Was he THAT naive?

@Purpleorange1 really? 8x? 70/30 isn’t fair in that circumstance and 50/50 really isn’t!