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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

In-laws drinking

31 replies

Hellothere19999 · 14/09/2020 11:16

Just looking for some advice.... my in-laws drink a lot which never really used to bother me but I now have an 10mo and I very rarely drink so I’m starting to find their behaviour quite shocking but not sure what to do. Last weekend they drank 3 bottles of wine between them at lunch and then carried on with either large wines or pints and then drove the 40 minute drive home (on the motorway). I know they are basically alcoholics and I find it so shocking that they drive in that state, with their family in the car. I will not be letting them spend much time alone with my daughter. How would you tackle this? I.e if they ask to have her overnight? I don’t mind them having her for a day as when sober and capable they are quite nice people. But the thought of them drink driving with her terrifies me.

OP posts:
Mintjulia · 14/09/2020 14:01

A tip-off that someone is driving under the influence is probable cause in itself. The police don't need any other reason to stop someone.

Heffalooomia · 14/09/2020 14:04

If the tip off stands as probable cause then he would probably only find out if he fought the case and his lawyer did some digging to find out what the probable cause was 🤔

SoddingWeddings · 14/09/2020 14:15

@Heffalooomia "probable cause" is an American thing - it doesn't exist in the UK.

If they receive a call about a drink driver, the police will try to get behind the car, they'll see the driving and even if they are driving beautifully stop the car. If they suspect alcohol has been consumed (smell, behaviour, answers to questions), they will breathalyse. If the person blows a positive test at the side of the road - or refuses to do a test - they are arrested. If they blow positive again at the police station, they go to court. A borderline breath result might require a blood or urine test which takes time before the decision is made on court or not. If they blew negative at the side of the road, that's thr end of that.

At no time will the police disclose the name, address, phone number, details etc of an informant. Ever. It's protected information even at court. A judge could've insist on knowing the details for the selves, but this wouldn't disclosed to the defence.

Having been found drink driving by the police, how the police came to suspect the driver was over the limit is no longer relevant to the case.

If there's no one available or on the area to get to the car, it will go on the system as one to be watched on future.

Hellothere19999 · 14/09/2020 14:31

I realise the depression thing is really really not the point, just something that I know would affect my partner and his family greatly. Again, I realise now that is really not important in comparison to what could happen 😔 fuck. I feel awful.

OP posts:
Hellothere19999 · 14/09/2020 14:32

Also, if the tip off is anonymous they wouldn’t know anyway.

OP posts:
DragonPie · 14/09/2020 14:45

His depression and job aren’t your problem, he is making a choice to drink and drive. And to be honest if he kills someone he’ll be out of a job and depressed further, entirely his own fault.

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