Domestic abuse experience

[Puppy72]

Hi, I'm thinking of writing a book on my ex partner and my relationship with him, there was some harrowing abuse and I just think I need to put pen to paper and get it all out. When writing a book in the hopes of sending it to publishers would you change names? Would he be able to sue me if he ever read the book and knew it was about him? Helpful advice would be great.

Have no idea on the legalities (sorry), but surely to go after you for telling your story - assuming names were changed - would be admitting a) you're talking about him and b) what you've said was true.

I'm so sorry he abused you

Change names of course. Saves any hastle.

How do you fancy being sued? Domestic abuse is not actually a crime but a circumstance.

This is a foolish idea and not even a new one. If you were a publisher, would you like to take on an author who brought with a clear litigating risk?

Answer NO

I'm pretty sure domestic abuse is a crime.

I'm pretty sure domestic abuse is a crime. only if the individual has been convicted. Other than that it’s an allegation and a case of her word against his.

Putting that allegation in print for profit is a really bad idea even if names are changed.

OP I would write the book but do it for catharticism rather than for money. You can still write the book, then put it away somewhere.

Do you have DC? You'd need to think about their privacy and feelings.

Some form of counselling might be less hazardous.

Domestic abuse is not a crime. I’ll wait until you can point me to a part of the law that provides for that.

How do you fancy being sued? Domestic abuse is not actually a crime but a circumstance

So if it isn't a crime how can you sue?

I'm pretty sure Domestic violence and abuse is a crime.

Many elements of DA are illegal, eg coercive control, violence.

Mm. I’m still waiting

Here's some pointers to the relevant laws

www.womensaid.org.uk/the-survivors-handbook/police-and-the-cps/#1447869873341-26ffbe0d-4250

@LexMitior Thank you for your comment and also your opinion but do you have to convey in such an aggressive manner then also continue to antagonise? These forums and message boards provide a safe space for women in all sorts of situations including domestic abuse, I respect your opinion which you are fully entitled to but its users like you that make others not want to bother saying anything.

@Augustbreeze yes I do have DC. I was going to name change everyone, I wouldn't write a book about my experiences for money. Its just to create awareness I suppose

Actually, I’m a victim of domestic abuse, but it’s not a crime, and I’m trying to tell you as a lawyer that this isn’t good to effectively libel your ex. It could cost you a lot of money.

I’m afraid you don’t get to choose the responses you get, but there’s a lot of stuff about domestic abuse as a crime. That’s wrong in law. Women shouldn’t be going around thinking that if their partner is abusive a crime has been committed. And you certainly shouldn’t expose yourself to the prospect of your ex suing you for libel.

You are welcome.

Mm. I’m still waiting

Here you go sweet cheeks:

The Domestic Violence, Crime and Victims Act 2004 (c 28)

I really don’t know so I can’t be any help there, sorry. Jeanette Winterson used her own first name in ‘Oranges Are Not The Only Fruit’ but then I’m not sure she accused anybody of committing a crime, or anything that would be considered a crime at the time at least. People write autobiographies all the time that accuse all sorts of people of criminal activity.

I would however be a bit thoughtful about your DC. They may know you were abused, but do you really want them knowing all the gory details? I would be considering that before I started looking to legalities if it were me.

I do fully get your need to write it all down however. I have always felt better after getting things out on paper. Could you write the book but not publish it? I know you want to but there might be a day when you wish you hadn’t. Once something is in the public domain it follows you around, and you might reach a day when you want to put it behind you completely.

Hey username, well done. Maybe you could point to the bit that says domestic abuse is a crime?

I’ll wait

The CPS appear to think they prosecute cases of domestic abuse, LexMitior. www.cps.gov.uk/crime-info/domestic-abuse

@LexMitior I assume you specialise in corporate law or are being deliberately obtuse. Read the law - I gave you the link.

@LexMitior is there really any need to be quite so awful?

If it's not a crime, how can you be convicted then?
Which law is it that takes it to court?
The word against each other means it is difficult to prove but evidence can be built up for the CPS to go to court?
So there must be a crime there?

Ah thanks for the links.

Actually I work in crime.

The answer is it is really important for women to know that domestic abuse is not a crime. I see it all the time and it is wrong. The reason none of you can show me an actual law, as opposed to domestic violence provisions which deal with victims is that there isn’t one.

Username, you show me a section of that act that says domestic abuse is a crime and there is an actual penalty for that and then you are right: but I don’t think so.

OP, I get that you don’t like my attitude, but I’ve done you a favour. It cannot have escaped your notice that Amber Heard and Johnny Depp have just had this argument in court; he claims damages for his reputation.

If you write a factual account of what your ex may have done to you, you could be sued. You may or may not have evidence, but unless you have an actual conviction for an actual crime (not domestic violence or abuse as these are findings a court could make but only in a criminal context where there was a trial in public and proved beyond a reasonable doubt) then that might be okay.

[quote category12]The CPS appear to think they prosecute cases of domestic abuse, LexMitior. www.cps.gov.uk/crime-info/domestic-abuse[/quote]
"Domestic abuse is prosecuted as part of the CPS Violence against Women and Girls Strategy"

Taken from the above link.

So, Lexmitior, you're saying the CPS are prosecuting non-crimes?

So the CPS's pages about prosecuting domestic abuse cases are a lot of old bullshit, are they?

Pardon me if I believe them over you.