I really don't know where to start... this could be long!

[MeImAllSmiles]

H and I just cannot communicate. We have five children between us, none together, we argue all the time about who has done what etc. Been together for 3 years now. Things are so bad that we haven't really been talking for about 3 weeks now, huge strain on my health. I have tried to jolly along and ignore the atmosphere but had enough last night. He is totally unprepared to talk about anything, told him he was pushing me further and further away and he still kept quiet apart from 'as long as we are not arguing we are ok' wtf! Just feel I am in such a dead end marriage, was soooo angry last night. He just will not talk under any circumstances, I am terrified of being a single parent but I can't live like this. Any advice gratefully appreciated.

That sounds horrible. No hard and fast advice here, just lots of sympathy. Other than maybe writing him a letter (not too long!) to tell him how desperate you are, I can't think of much. There's always the Relate route, but that requires input from both of you.

Men don't like talking on and on about their feelings, but there is a limit to how much space can be allowed in a relationship, and it sounds like he has gone way past that (3 weeks not talking?? ffs).

Good luck, love.

Has he always been the quiet type? I don't really know what to say or advise, but hopefully someone will be along soon with experience/help.

Have you thought of going to Relate or similar on your own?

He has always been like this, have written letters before pouring my heart out. I did go to relate last year for the initial consult and when I told him he was less than happy to put it mildly. This is just so horrible.

Living as a single parent has got to be better than this, surely?

This is what I am thinking but I am sooooo scared.

You have a choice:

Stay as you are and be unhappy.

Make the break, be scared, but in the future make a fantstic new life for yourself and your children.

It isn't good for them seeing all this and living in such an atmosphere.

Good luck.

I know you are right but I am seriously in pieces at the moment.

Okay.

Give me the smallest, least upsetting prob you have at the moment.

His brother and friend are coming to stay for a few days on Thursday and I don't know whether to play happy families or not

Why are they coming? Do they have to come? Will you be doing all the hostessing?

Coming to visit for a few days been a long standing invite, I certainly won't be able to cancel and I know h wont because it would look like something is wrong. As for hostessing, no way!

Something is wrong though. Your marriage has got to be more important than a family visit.

That's what I think but obviously not h! He seriously doesn't seem to give a stuff, I'm the only one trying to make this work he has put in zero effort and continues to do so.

There you are!

And that's my least problem!!

Go away by yourself for the duration of the visit.

Get off here and go and talk to your husband. He needs to face up to reality.

Would love to do that but would mean leaving my children with him, not a great idea! As for talking to him, I could talk to the cows come home but he is just not interested. Thanks for listening and your advice.

Then you have to sort out what you want on your own. You only get on life.

I know what I need to do but it is so scarey, I have no friends or family near no support at all.

one life

I know I know

You are a woman. You can multi task and you can do this on your own. You have had children, and nothing is more scary than that!

I was correcting my spelling not hassleing you!!

lol. There is so much more to this story than i can ever put on here it is so long and complicated. I know I have to get out but I just can't think straight or work out how I can afford to.