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Original poster

Online Dating

32 replies

Wannabegreenfingers · 07/09/2020 21:14

Thought I'd dip my toe. Its horrendous. I only seem to attracted idiots who just want sex. Most are much older then me and I'm early 40's!!

I've got an honest profile and mention my kids. I keep chat bright and breezy, open ended questions, but nothing. Thought I'd met someone with potential to meet up, but hes just asked for dirty pics, argh!!

I'm no bloody prude, but a connection and a few dates isnt that much to ask for surely?!?

OP posts:
SentientAndCognisant · 07/09/2020 21:17

Never done OLD but my mates tell me it’s really common for men to request a durrrty photo
Oh and send dick pics
Jeez I’d expect a wee bit banter, date, him looking all interested in my work,me and him being a literature buff and all
I’m sure there are nice men out there now sending unsolicited doc pics. You just got to meet them

Spritesobright · 07/09/2020 21:18

Oh dear. I'm afraid it's a numbers game and you have to wade through a lot of sh*t to find a good one.
I know what you mean about coming on too strong. One guy's opening line asked me which orifice I'd like him to insert his cock into.
I mean, buy me a drink first at least. 🤔

SentientAndCognisant · 07/09/2020 21:19

Really?im screaming
Which orifice I mean who the fuck says that?driller killer, that’s who

Original poster
Wannabegreenfingers · 07/09/2020 21:44

Which orifice, thats horrific. Not had that one yet Blush

Spent most of last night chatting to this guy seemed genuine, clearly not. Will keep wading. Glad I only signed up for a month!!

OP posts:
anotherdisaster · 07/09/2020 21:52

I'm the last person to advise you on online dating. I just started a post earlier about being stood up by some weirdo I got chatting to..
I've lost count of the matches I got on Tinder who then don't even bother to message. Its been a waste of time for me.

Anotheruser02 · 07/09/2020 21:59

I'm on POF, the very first message I had was from some old man saying he's been bad and needs punishing 🤢🤮
I've filtered out a lot of crap, had one nice date that didn't go anywhere. but made me feel upbeat. I agree with others it's a numbers game. I'm still looking.

Rigamorph · 07/09/2020 22:05

Things must be getting worse! I did OLD for about 5 years a while back and had a few awful dates (awkward, boring, cringeworthy) but I don't remember any outright sleaze (match.com and POF, Tinder wasn't a thing back then).
I would ignore any opening comment that wasn't original, personal, intelligent and witty though so I may have filtered out some of the crap.
Finally met my lovely DP on POF there are nice men out there but I did have to meet some idiots first!

Rigamorph · 07/09/2020 22:07

Actually thinking back, I think I made all the first moves and contacted only the men whose profiles were very well written and put together. Shows some level of commitment from the start.
I probably ignored all the men that contacted me, unless their initial contact was outstanding.

SentientAndCognisant · 07/09/2020 22:11

Encouragingly, I have mates who met smashing men OLD
So they’re not all skeazy

Welshgal85 · 07/09/2020 22:11

Sorry to hear this OP, hope your luck changes with it all! I did quite a bit of OLD when I was single and agree with others that it can be a bit of a numbers game.

Apps that I found had sleazy guys other friends managed to meet lovely people on so think it’s a bit of a right place right time thing. I know that isn’t that helpful Grin but there are good people out there!

Lovemusic33 · 07/09/2020 22:18

I’ve been online dating for years (kind of proves it’s almost impossible), I have had some good dates and a few awful ones. I would say 90% of the men that message me are just after sex or pictures, it does become tedious after a while. Some apps are better than others, POF is probably the busiest but you have to be very picky, Tinder is slightly better.

Crystal87 · 08/09/2020 10:00

If they asked straight away then I'd tell them where to go and then block. I think it's ok if you're at the point of dating, it's going somewhere, it's mutual and you trust them. But if that's all they're after then no.

Crumpets4butter · 08/09/2020 10:05

Is Guardian soulmates still a thing? I met some good men on that when I was single. Nothing came of it but they were all decent nice people, intelligent and could hold a conversation. This was 10 years ago though.

Original poster
Wannabegreenfingers · 08/09/2020 10:06

I wouldn't mind at the point of dating, but before we have even met, just tells what sort of person they are.

OP posts:
anotherdisaster · 08/09/2020 10:16

I've dated 3 guys from OLD in the last 3 years and all 3 of them have turned out to have serious issues. They seemed nice, genuine, not sleazy etc etc but after dating for a while..... first one was an alcoholic, second one still lived with his mum and was an overgrown baby and the 3rd one was the most immature and emotionally stunted idiot. These men were all late 30s, early 40s.

Original poster
Wannabegreenfingers · 08/09/2020 10:47

I think OLD is the wrong platform for me. Anyone had better success with other platforms?

OP posts:
TossACoinToYerWitcher · 08/09/2020 10:56

@Crumpets4butter Guardian Soulmates closer recently sadly 🙁 - too much competition from the Apps

yesterdaystotalsteps123 · 08/09/2020 11:25

Same here, met my xh online and he was horrendous and back on there so some poor soul will fall for his act. Dated in the past Peter Pan syndrome (not attractive), me do all the work and running around then when it comes to him putting a modicom if effort in his wages didn't come through so could I get the train again (no), obese (nothing wrong with obese but maybe mention it instead of claiming to be average, as I'm really into walking very fast, can't run) and so on. It's grim. Currently chatting to someone, it was fun for the first 24 hours but he's reverting to monosyllabic answers with the off breadcrumb question I answer in detail to be met with deafening silence. Argh

anotherdisaster · 08/09/2020 13:00

My friend has been seeing a guy she met on POF for a couple of months. She thinks he is a good catch. I'm not so sure, I think it has disaster written all over it.

Lovemusic33 · 08/09/2020 13:41

@Wannabegreenfingers

I think OLD is the wrong platform for me. Anyone had better success with other platforms?
I’m on a few Facebook groups for single people linked to my interests and hobbies, it’s more about meeting people and making friends but lots of people have met their partners this way. I have met a few people and dated a few people this way.
Opentooffers · 08/09/2020 14:15

Lol, I've been doing it for years on and off on various sites and only once got asked for more pics, he got quite upset at the insinuation when I asked what kind and blocked me Confused.
How have I avoided this? Well, maybe it's because I don't reply to anyone who says "Hi, like your pics'" or "you're gorgeous", I've got a filter on that stops short messages coming through ( that blocked loads) and also, if they haven't bothered to look at my profile and ask something relevant about it, then I don't reply. Sometimes I'm first to message, you can tell based on their profile what they are about - unless they've not bothered filling it in, which results in rejection ( ask me! - er,just no!)

Original poster
Wannabegreenfingers · 08/09/2020 14:28

I'm also not replying to the hey gorgeous messages. The latest really shocked me as we had spent the previous night having a lovely back and forth conversation.

I'll see if I can set my filters even stronger

OP posts:
Welshgal85 · 08/09/2020 14:58

I think unfortunately it’s kinda luck of the draw of who is out there! I met my DP on POF over 5 years ago now. He had a nice profile which I could tell he had made an effort with - he’d actually written about himself and his interests and I could tell he had really thought about it (I used to hate all the really minimal profiles with hardly any info that said things like ‘if you want to know ask me!’). I messaged him and it went from there.

There are good men out there (and in the world outside OLD of course!) wishing you all the best with it!

WhatInTheHell · 08/09/2020 15:10

I've come to say I'm having no luck with OLD either. The conversations are so bland, I could end up falling asleep. I'm sick of being asked my favourite position or 'how I like it'. I'm honestly beginning to question if this is normal behaviour or if men are just complete and utter sleazes.

Also, I had a guy tell me he wants to tie me up and gag me. Not a great conversation starter 🙄

I'm also thinking of starting a page to rate dick pics, because the amount I get is dreadful. Might as well make use of them Grin

Lovemusic33 · 08/09/2020 15:20

@WhatInTheHell

I've come to say I'm having no luck with OLD either. The conversations are so bland, I could end up falling asleep. I'm sick of being asked my favourite position or 'how I like it'. I'm honestly beginning to question if this is normal behaviour or if men are just complete and utter sleazes.

Also, I had a guy tell me he wants to tie me up and gag me. Not a great conversation starter 🙄

I'm also thinking of starting a page to rate dick pics, because the amount I get is dreadful. Might as well make use of them Grin

I considered making a dick pick collage 🤔

It has made me consider if all men are sleazy and out for one thing.

I have probably been on 50 or more dates over the past 5 years, I would say only 5 were normal down to Earth men. I have had men force themselves on me (one pinned me up against my car to kiss me goodbye), men get angry with me when I say I don’t want a 2nd date, married men and men who have lied about their age and look nothing like their photos. It really is tedious at times.