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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

De code this message please

63 replies

mydogishungry · 06/09/2020 21:31

Split up with my ex over two years ago. We got on great but he wanted a family and I already had two so we reluctantly said goodbye. He got in tow with someone almost immediately (probably met her when we were still together) and promptly had two children in very quick succession.

Once I knew he was with someone I went no contact because I was still a bit in love with him and needed to move on for my own sake.

The other day I was flicking through my phone with no specific purpose and saw a blocked message which read - how are you, would love to catch up. I do genuinely miss talking to you. I heard a word you use a lot on the radio and it made me think of you. I hope you are well. I don't know why the message came through because he was blocked.

I know this is terribly immature to even be debating this but would someone who is really happy in their new relationship write this? Does he just genuinely want to be friends? I am feeling all unsettled and it has set me back. Do I just ignore or message him a friendly reply saying I don't think I can be friends as it is not in my best interest. I have done over two years no contact and am scared to break this.

OP posts:
mummmy2017 · 07/09/2020 22:52

Decode it.
I'm bored.
I want a booty call.
Oh let's see if I can shag my ex.... You.

Please do not contact or get involved, he will hurt you, if your stupid and reply.

Sssloou · 07/09/2020 23:08

He isn’t single in the sense you mean though is he?

YOU chose to end the RS because you didn’t want anymore DCs .... if he came back into your life “single” you would then be the step parent of his two young babies.....

Doesn’t sound like much fun.

Even if he is “single” - he should be concentrating on his babies - leave him to it.

mydogishungry · 09/09/2020 21:57

Just an update to all you lovely people who left comments many of which made me laugh they were so astute and to the point.

Well, l was intrigued about a blocked message getting through. I changed my phone about a month ago so decided to fish out my old phone to have a look. Samsung file blocked messages under blocked messages n settings so totally useless if you want proper no contact.

Anyway, l digress - there were 13 messages from him from May 2019 until now, including a happy mother's day and a thinking about you on valentine's day.

Wow! Nice for my ego but l am determined to stay no contact.

You were all right!

OP posts:
Dozer · 09/09/2020 22:02

Urgh! Maintain non contact!

TheSecondMrsAshwell · 09/09/2020 22:25

Just saw on the I Can Has Cheezeburger site:

"Ladies, when he texts 'hey you,' that's code for "No other women bought into my bullshit, so I've circled back to you."

Kinda like a V2 bomb bimbling about looking for somewhere to explode

Potterpotterpotter · 09/09/2020 22:30

*Decode:

"OMG, now I see why you didn't want to have more children! it's a lot of work and it negatively impacts my sex life. Wassup?"*

This! He’s now realised that having kids isn’t all roses and he may even regret leaving and then having kids straight away.

Saggyoldsofa · 09/09/2020 23:11

Oh yuck. So he was texting you when he was busy impregating the mum of his children.
I always think it pays in these circumstances to think about how. Pregnancy. Happens.... the romancing. The sex. The afterwards. The test and the reveal. The scans. The birth. The ohmygodwemadeahuman moments afterward.

And during all.that he was texting you.

A big bloody well done to you for ejecting this plonker. Not because he wanted kids. But because he was a twunt.

Dont be that step mum. He will find someone new in a few years and you will have spent precious energy raising someone else's children through the tiny years. No. Nope. Definitely not.

Healththrowaway199 · 09/09/2020 23:24

Does he not have shame? He’s been talking to himself for over a year! Wouldn’t he get the hint after you didn’t reply the first time!

Does your phone show whether you received calls from blocked numbers?

I much prefer iPhone’s way of never showing you blocked messages or calls though.

MsDogLady · 09/09/2020 23:25

Wow. It didn’t take him long to treat his partner/babies’ mother like garbage. I wouldn’t feel flattered by the attention of such a loser.

BuffaloMozzerella · 09/09/2020 23:42

God that's depressing to read. His poor partner and tiny children. Horrible man.

Dawnlassie · 09/09/2020 23:49

A bit harsh on him to assume he is looking for a quickie. Some men actually value friendship and as you two spent a lot of time together its perfectly possible.

However that does not change the situation that you can never get back with him due to your different life goals. Block and move on.

Closetbeanmuncher · 10/09/2020 00:07

Translation....I'm now bored of this hole and fancy a new hole to stick it in....phishing to see if you're up for it.

Errr no! keep it moving scrot-rot.

BuffaloMozzerella · 10/09/2020 00:46

Has he really had 2 kids since splitting with you in May 2019? Blimey!

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