Where can someone, who doesn’t want to have sex, start to look for an relationship?

[WellThisWentWell]

So yeah, that’s me.
Tinders and bars are out, and it’s not like i can go and say to a person ”hey, not interested in sex, want to go out on a date”.

Loneliness is really getting to me, so i thought i start doing something about it, before bitterness takes over...

So I’m guessing you’re Asexual?
Have you tried googling asexual dating sites. I don’t have much knowledge on this subject but it may be a start x

Are you asexual? If so I guess you could start by checking out forums / meet up groups for asexual folks.

Not into sex ever (ie Asexual) or not into casual sex/sex outside of a committed relationship?

Maybe go on dating sites and when/if you start a conversation with someone, then tell them - lots will drop out, but who knows there might be those who will find it a relief not to be under pressure to instantly "perform."

Yes, i would say i’m asexual.

No, i don’t want to have sex at all, ever.

I don't know but there is more and more awareness of people being asexual, hopefully there will be places to meet people. Have you had a search?

Have you thought about if you would want a partner who is also a sexual, or if you'd be happy for them to meet their needs elsewhere- e.g. in a poly relationship?

Following with interest, but I know it's difficult OP. If you say you are asexual a lot of men see it as some sort of challenge to 'convert' you. It's really difficult. And yes it's a lonely life living as someone who couldn't care less about sex in such a sex driven world. I feel your pain and gave up on dating a long time ago unfortunately

I have looked into asexual site, but there really aren’t many people there, and it’s more for chatting, than for looking for an relationship.

Poly i couldn’t do, not at all.
Maybe open relationship.
Sex i don’t really get jealous of (except when i wish i could just do it, so it would be easier to find an relationship and be more ”normal”)
but if they had feelings for someone else - no thanks, rather let them go and be alone.

wobblywinelover

Following with interest, but I know it's difficult OP. If you say you are asexual a lot of men see it as some sort of challenge to 'convert' you. It's really difficult. And yes it's a lonely life living as someone who couldn't care less about sex in such a sex driven world. I feel your pain and gave up on dating a long time ago unfortunately

-I don’t even know what to say, but this really spoke to me.

All the best to you!!

Is there a place on here we can discuss asexuality? I believe I am demisexual, I have to have a good bond with someone before I can be comfortable having sex, but would really not be bothered if I ever had it again. I think i've spent so many years trying to please a man and have sex with them i'm probably now on the asexual spectrum due to the trauma of it all. I was cheated on badly and sex has been used as a weapon against me by narcissists so I now feel off it altogether. I would love to meet a man who just wants to cuddle and kiss but I don't feel that they exist

All the best to you too @WellThisWentWell You're not alone!

Iv been asexul for nearly 4 yrs(many good reasons why) i feel the same as u,I want a partner,but how the hell does that happen,when I'm 42 and do not want a partner who is 99yrs!:/

wobblywinelover

”Is there a place on here we can discuss asexuality? ”

• Yes, there is: AVEN, reddit has to subreddit for asexuals: asexual and asexuality.

Assuming you are a straight woman under 60, you will struggle to find a man who wants a relationship without sex. Most men would consider that a contradiction in terms.

Oh, and if you are demi, then there is also subreddit for you specially, suprisingly named demisexuality

I think a lot of a dating apps are sex-focused. Why not try the meetup website as that maybe one way to meet and connect with people with shared interests, but with no pressure for dating. I have known a few men over the years who have had performance problems (mostly health-related) and they would have been glad to meet a partner who didn't expect intercourse which was painful or not possible for them. It is possible to find someone willing to accept a non-sexual relationship. In reality, many couples end up this way after many years of being together.

Forgive me if this is a stupid question, but why are you looking for in a relationship at all? Wouldn't your loneliness be resolved by having friends, and maybe a best friend (male or female)?

AnaViaSalamanca

”Forgive me if this is a stupid question, but why are you looking for in a relationship at all? Wouldn't your loneliness be resolved by having friends, and maybe a best friend (male or female)?”

-This one gets asked a lot.
And it keeps confusing me...
Surely there is lot more to an relationship than sex?

But, anyway, i crave for companionship.
Someone to share and build a life with.
Friends can be there, even to extend share a life with, but then they go to their partners/family.
I don’t go home to them.
Or plan our future together with them, take mortgage together etc.
Like i said, friends get partners, kids and they move on...

May I ask without being intrusive, although you don’t want intercourse, I’m presuming you would be happy with certain intimacy? Kissing etc? I know it sounds such a stupid question, but I’m just wondering if your happy with certain aspects of a relationship without the full on sex?
Or are you just looking for a best/close friend you can spend time with/live together and share bills?
I’m sorry to be so intrusive, I’m just wondering if there is any intimacy you would be willing or eager to be a part of should you find a relationship?

@Lifeislikeaboxofchocolat
It’s okey, i have been asked much, much worse before!

Kissing, cuddles, those i’m okey with.
And partner is what i am looking for.

Wanting to share is understandable. Craving companionship I get.

Have you tried the Asexual dating sites then? As you seem to have some knowledge upthread.
Hopefully you will find some like minded individual on the site.
Again a complete novice to this subject, so I’m not sure of the asexual sites and how difficult to date. I.e age range, local to you, what they will accept with regards to the level of intimacy/relationship.

I’m sure it must be difficult but you know I’m really rooting for you that you find a companion.

@WellThisWentWell

Oh, and if you are demi, then there is also subreddit for you specially, suprisingly named demisexuality

I was wondering if people discussed asexuality on mumsnet, sorry if my message was misunderstood. I don't really like reddit but thanks. Oh there's a subreddit for me? and it's suprisingly named? Patronising much!

You can discuss most things on MN as long as you stay within guidelines, so I'd imagine it's perfectly ok for you to post about this and this would seem like the right topic area too.