Suggesting I eat food off the floor

[CelestialMosaics]

My partner threw some food during a tantrum a couple of days ago (it's still there as I've had enough of picking up after him). He's just suggested that I should eat it. I'm not sure if it was meant to be a joke. I'm exhausted and feel like giving in and cleaning it up but I don't feel like I should then sometimes I think it's all my fault and I should prevent this stuff from happening. He's off work today and I can't stand him being here, tomorrow can't come soon enough.

You poor thing, you definitely need to leave him,whose name is on the rental agreement for the flat?

He is abusive. You need to leave.

Probably not a good idea to tell him - you need professional advice on your situation and your options when you go.

Do you have friends or family you could go to in the short term?

Do you work could you afford to rent a flat or a flat share?

Find somewhere to go to.

Give notice to your landlord that you’re leaving, and to remove you from the tenancy after the agreed notice period.

And leave. Don’t tell him till you’re gone.

Was that violence directed at you @CelestialMosaics?
I really hope not, but it soon will be. Those violent displays are like warning shots across a ship's bows, to let you know there is danger ahead.
Do not get pregnant to this man. Get out as soon as you can.

Well he's a massive twat. An abusive twat. Start making plans to split up from him op. This isn't a healthy relationship and you can do much better.

Another one here saying get out, as this will only get worse

Is he at work tomorrow? Can you be at home tomorrow? Do you have friends/family who'd let you stay?

The violence is never at me although it's usually my fault somehow for going on or 'acting scared' and he will prevent me from leaving the room or follow me. I think he knows that hitting me is the line and he says he would never hurt me. He's back to giving me the silent treatment so at least it's quiet.

It's a joint tenancy. What would happen if I gave notice? I don't want to make him worse by making him homeless. He's really sensitive about where he lives.

Could he afford it alone?
Could you move to safety first and give notice after?
If he blocks your way and is violent, you have to assume that he might hurt you. Seek advice from the professionals on leaving an abuser. www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/I-am-planning-to-leave-my-abuser

I think it would be advisable for you to complete the freedom programme and reassess your relationship based on what you learn.

www.womensaid.org.uk/the-survivors-handbook/making-a-safety-plan/

This is a good link for things to consider if you start thinking about leaving.

Why on Earth are you concerned about where he lives? He’s an abusive bully and you need to leave

Collect all your paperwork together quietly, find somewhere else to rent. Give your notice on the joint tenancy once you have somewhere to go

Then he can either take the tenancy over ho self or find somewhere else.

@Chloemol

Why on Earth are you concerned about where he lives? He’s an abusive bully and you need to leave

Collect all your paperwork together quietly, find somewhere else to rent. Give your notice on the joint tenancy once you have somewhere to go

Then he can either take the tenancy over ho self or find somewhere else.

This.

You don’t have to tell him anything. Just put all your plans in place.

You don’t need his agreement.

@CelestialMosaics

He's punched, kicked and thrown things before. I think I've had enough of walking on eggshells.

Thank God there aren't any kids. He sounds like an absolute arse, please fgs get the hell outta there.

"He's really sensitive about where he lives"

OP what does this even mean? isn't everybody concerned about their living arrangements? does he expect some kind of luxury apartment?
Please stop pandering to his narcissistic , spoilt wankery.

If he’s very sensitive about where he lives then he will not end up in a homeless shelter, they are not fun places.

I’m sure he’s perfectly capable of finding Somewhere to rent just like everyone else.

He isn't giving you a second thought, so don't worry about him. Put yourself first right now.

"He's really sensitive about where he lives"

This is NOT your problem OP. Especially once you have split. Just focus on getting yourself away from him. He is a grown up and can sort himself out.

Op have you got real life support?
Please get out.
He hasn’t got you YET.
He will.
Next time he’ll tell you to eat the food and then push your face into it.
He will start threatening you, pushing you, shoving you, hitting you, kicking you, strangling you, killing you.
I speak from experience. It happened to someone dear to me and they were the perfect couple and we loved him. He was my go to guy. And he killed her.
Please get out.

I'm worrying about where he will live because I know what will make him angry and I'm afraid of him.

Could he afford to pay alone until he finds a new place?
Get in touch with Women's Aid or similar; they have experience of this situation and can provide practical information and advice on how to make your exit as safe as possible.

We know you are frightened of him. That’s why we are advising you to make a plan and get out, and not to discuss it with him.

And that you need to confide in trustworthy people who will support you.

Are you able to spirit away treasured items? Keep them with a tight lipped friend?

I have a sinking feeling he would take his temper out on your possessions.
Do you have your own finances?

Call women’s aid.