Does anyone else do this?

[Bekind2020]

Hand over baby to hubby literally the minute he walks through the door from a 14 hour day? Recently went to a mums coffee morning and one of the mums is expecting her second dc and she said as with the first the minute hubby gets home she's going to hand over baby to him.. Just curious to know if any other mums did this..

Occasionally if necessary but I tried not to as it was nice to give him attention too (not because I'm a 50s housewife btw but because it's friendly!) He would scoop up the baby straight away if they were crying, anyway. We definitely split things pretty evenly when the babies were little (and now). When he was working and I was home I did all the nights though, even though he would argue that he should!

For someone who doesn't want to engage you aren't half talking a lot.

Again, this is a public thread. If you post such goady crap then expect to get arsey replies.

Keyboard warrior.

There you go again.

@greyisagoodcolour you seriously need to chill. OP asked a simple question. No need to get arsey at her. The only person here judging seems to be you. Go have a cup of tea and RELAX.

That's nice Always. I think a lot of the comments are right too.. Dad should naturally want to take over too. I think it's more of the way she said it, she's quite a Princess anyway.

Thank you @NotaCoolMum

@Bekind2020 sounds like you've hit a nerve there 😂 babies and small children are hard work but that's a choice you make, no one choose if they want to go to work or not.

@Bekind2020 💐💐💐

Yes. Totally fine. Presumably dh has had time to decompress from work on the drive home.

Lol @Keeping2ChevronsApart I think I've insulted Germaine Greer. You know something.. Each to their own, you are entitled to your opinions.. But where in my original post did it say what my thoughts were. I was asking for everyone else's thoughts!

I usually let my fiancé have the option to sit down for a little bit after he's home from work before he helps me with our son. Unless he's been on the late shift, in which case he'll have been in bed since 7:30pm (usually!) so he doesn't need to help then. He works 6:00am-3:00pm, 10:00am-6:00pm or 2:00pm-11:00pm, and drives half an hour there and back so I'll give him the option. He does moan about it a lot when he has to help me with our son, 9 months old, but he does it anyway. He's grumpy a lot because he's always tired because he has sleeping problems. All in all he's very helpful though, even at night time when he's supposed to be trying to sleep. He doesn't want me to push myself, especially now, because I'm pregnant with our second (30+2 weeks). I'm often sat there before he gets home thinking 'I've had enough I'm not doing anything when he gets home he can do it all' but I'll still try to be helpful.
Not sure if this is helpful, or if I've just rambled a bit, but that's baby brain for you, haha!

I think I've insulted Germaine Greer

And I think I've stumbled across the original Stepford Wife.

Goodbye Grey.

Goodbye, hope you mean it this time.

@Bekind2020

Lol *@Keeping2ChevronsApart* I think I've insulted Germaine Greer. You know something.. Each to their own, you are entitled to your opinions.. But where in my original post did it say what my thoughts were. I was asking for everyone else's thoughts!

So what are your thoughts?

I'm glad your partner helps Libby. It's so hard juggling everything. I had absolutely no help with my DD, I moved to an area where I didn't know anyone, mum passed, dad lives abroad so every day was like groundhog day for me.. I think I probably felt more for my daughters father because he had such a labour intensive job and I knew he was up in the night when I was up in the night too.

I think if he's worked a 14hr day, he gets a break. Who the hell is working 14hrs a day tho, and why? That's ridiculous.

You'd give him the chance to go to the loo and wash his hands (and change/shower if from a manual job) before starting his next 'shift', wouldn't you?

@JamieLeeCurtains

I've done '14 hour days' which involved 2 x 2 hours commuting (healthy walk, train journeys reading the Guardian / reading through lecture notes / eating half of packed lunch and drinking coffee), plus a one hour lunch break, and a fair amount of time chatting to colleagues & students and reading essays at a desk with my feet up. Meetings and lectures where I felt valued.

14 hours alone with a crying baby is hell. Especially when the escapee, usually one's DP, arrived back and asks what's for dinner.

Exactly. Unless you're one of the few mothers blessed with an 'easy' one, looking after a little baby for 14 hours is way more stressful than nearly all jobs. Plus you normally have a commute to do some decompression before you get home.

I do think if gender roles were reversed way more women wouldnt think twice about taking baby off the stay at home dad as soon as they got home and attending to what needed to be done in the house. It's normally women who wring themselves into knots thinking they don't want to burden men with their own children.

Of course many good men will take the baby off their partner as soon as they get in, and can't wait to see the baby after a long day away from them.

Me personally. Now I've done this post I definitely think it depends on what day mum and dad have had. If I've had a 14 hour day with a baby who hasn't napped, teething, milked me dry and has generally been a pain in the behind then yes I'm within my rights to hand over our child to my partner.. Equally if he's had an extremely hard day at work and is covered head to toe in dust and crap when he gets to the door.. I will not begrudge him half an hour to shower and wind down. Swings and roundabouts.

Thank you Lily, your comment was extremely diplomatic.

It is horses for courses. Not all babies are crying all day, not all men work on the coalface. Days differ at home and in the workplace.

Some days DH was more knackered than I was so he didn't immediately take over, other days he did.

What is with the feminist claptrap? I am for equality, kindness and mutual cooperation. It works much better than the feminist flag waving.

I went back to work full time when DD was three months old. Ex didn't want to be involved. At the end of the working day, I was desperate to hold her and fairly grabbed her from the nursery people. So, I assume that an involved father would or might feel the same? I really missed her during the day, far more than she missed me!!

Here here Venice 💖