Out of the game for a while but would like to get back in it....sorry but what is the deal now with hair down below?

[Outofthegame83]

Sorry about the subject matter....

I was with my ex husband for 12 years and out of it for a few years whilst I recovered from emotional abuse.

There is a nice guy down my road who could persuade me that life is worth getting back into again. He isn’t physically that attractive to me but he is a really nice and gentle man and he plays so nicely with my young child when we see him in the street. He becomes more attractive the more we talk...Looks are not everything.

Anyway, enough about that.....what I am wanting to ask is what on Earth do we do now with downstairs hair. I got complacent with the ex so not sure what’s the in thing now!!!

Whatever YOU want is fine. Please don’t think you need to alter your body to suit other people/fashion trends. Hope you have fun with the man!

Whatever you like, OP.

I personally like a good Hollywood wax, even when I was not dating at all. I get really itchy with shaving abs don't like how it feels. But as PP said, do whatever you feel comfortable with.

I think bead braiding is interesting and can be a bit of an ice-breaker topic in early dating conversations.
However they can be a bit rattlely at times - if you know what I mean.

Whatever you like. What an odd question

I have dated two men who seemed bothered (one American, one very metrosexual), the rest couldn't care less! I do like laid back hippie/surfer types tho. It might be different in the city??!!
So long as you are clean and hygienic it won't matter
The whole Brazilian is too much for me, having tried it twice it wasn't worth the effort and discomfort!
Perhaps a beauty therapist will tell you, but I think just keeping the edges neat and a good trim is probably a common option

I have been dating again for the past 20 months after a 20 year hiatus. Mid 40s and I tend to date men from 35-45. All 4 that i have slept with them have 'manscaped' pretty drastically. I have always have a full brazillian now and am so glad i did.

The change of pubic hair 'fashion' was one of the biggest suprises, if i am honest.

DH is old school. He used to pester me to remove it all but now says he prefers tidy natural. Says that watching porn is like looking at plucked chicken skin and puts him off.
I suspect any man who is too particular about your body is likely to be a little too controlling. If anyone asked me to have full wax then I would expect them to do the same. That includes legs, back and chest as well as crack and sack.
I had a very short relationship with a hairy man, his pubic hair extended up the shaft of his dick, it very quickly became an ick situation since he did shave it but the stubble was so uncomfortable.

Complacent?? Is this what not looking like a porn worker is called now? Complacent? I think you need to go on the Women's Rights forum and ask them what they think about this public hair removal trend.

You are under no obligation to look like a porn contracter, and no obligation to do to remove hair from such a delicate area. What is it about society that expects women to not age, to 'look after themselves' whilst men can look forward to a less judgey middle age with a belly before the turn into wrinkled wizards??

Do whatever makes you feel like OP. Be comfortable in your own skin; it's the most potent aphrodisiac.

Makes you feel good.

I got complacent with the ex so not sure what’s the in thing now!!!

Was your ex also 'complacent'? Or did he feel the need to keep up-to-date with the latest trends in male public hair grooming?

Why are you relating this question to what men may think ?

Think for yourself. Let me help you "get back in the game"...there's this thing called free will and no person should be basing what they do with their own body on the whims of another

I think the trend is all off. Most single women I know have a hollywood wax, but do what you feel comfortable with. I've never known a man to be turned off by a bit of pubic hair, and if they are then they're probably not for you.

Do what you want with it op
Grow it out
Shave it into his initials (bit much)
Dye it purple

As an old rad fem, may I just say how surprised and delighted I am that the vast majority of replies on this thread are telling OP to do what she wants, and not to worry about hypothetical male opinions or porn driven fashion trends!
This is so heartening - I feared that modern women were selling out to the misogynistic porn culture, and resigning themselves to pubic waxing, anal rape, choking and all the other vile crap sold to them as “normal” these days.
Please choose whatever is comfortable for you personally, OP. If some twit of a bloke objects, it’s a good sign that he’s not worth bothering with!

Ffs I’m assume your not 16 and feel the need to do what your peers do. You do what makes you comfortable. I’d concentrate more on actually developing the relationship with the guy. Talk about the horse bolting...

Thanks for those honest and constructive replies, I did say it was an odd question. It’s not related to the bloke down the road, I rambled a bit there. I was sexually abused by my husband so I’m still a little unsure about down there in general I did as I was told.

I think especially because you were controlled by your ex, you really should think in terms of what makes you feel good/comfortable. Not what a potential partner might think, not what's fashionable, but having confidence in your own preferences.

I’m worried they will find it disgusting and they will somehow know I guess that something bad happened to it.

Never "do as you are told" again

Whatever you want. What do you like?

Also, if you’re old enough to have sex then you’re old enough not to refer to your vagina as “down below”

@Outofthegame83

I’m worried they will find it disgusting and they will somehow know I guess that something bad happened to it.

Aw op please don't think that way!! You're perfect just the way you're. I have been in a sexually abusing relationship and it is hard. Big hugs and good luck with the guy down the road xxxx

Well, take it slowly with any man and make sure you give your own values and preferences as much weight as his, (in fact more weight to your own).

If a bloke's disgusted by pubic hair or lack of, it really says more about him than you. Maybe you're not ready to date yet and need to do a bit more work on your own boundaries and self-esteem?

OP I want you to promise me that you will never, ever do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable with your own body again - ever.

If a man laughs at you, makes comments, asks you to do something with your body, flings himself away from you in disgust or does anything whatsoever that makes you feel 'less than' - you kick him out of your bed. You do not entertain him again. He's a piece of crap. Their behaviour says nothing about you but everything about them.

You're beautiful and you deserve to be loved and cherished - accept nothing less.