Out of the game for a while but would like to get back in it....sorry but what is the deal now with hair down below?

[Outofthegame83]

Sorry about the subject matter....

I was with my ex husband for 12 years and out of it for a few years whilst I recovered from emotional abuse.

There is a nice guy down my road who could persuade me that life is worth getting back into again. He isn’t physically that attractive to me but he is a really nice and gentle man and he plays so nicely with my young child when we see him in the street. He becomes more attractive the more we talk...Looks are not everything.

Anyway, enough about that.....what I am wanting to ask is what on Earth do we do now with downstairs hair. I got complacent with the ex so not sure what’s the in thing now!!!

I personally like to have shaved legs, armpit hair, and pubic hair. But sometimes I let it all grow a bit and I don't really care if my boyfriend cares. He's said before he'd rather I shave but a bit of hair isn't going to turn him off either. Just do what makes you comfortable, whether that's clean shaven, full bush, or somewhere in between. If any guy is worth it they aren't going to turn you away or make you feel like less than you're worth because of your choices about your body

Thanks guys. Im tried to befriend my “vagina” again as we became rather disconnected! Well my head and the rest of my body! It’s hard to live in the world after putting up with such horrible things but I don’t want to miss out on happiness because of him. The guy down the road has just been nice and shown me that not every man is a monster.

I think it's more about what you want to do.

If the man is overly fused and criticises your pubic hair then he isn't really worth it.

I used to just shave around and now I have the full 'Hollywood' but that's because I like it. During lock down it grew and partner didn't comment since it is up to me what I do with my hair...

I don't think you are at all ready to date. To be honest , and I do mean this kindly but you seem a little ..... All over the place. Are you okay? Have you had counselling?

I'm 41 and on the dating scene (or at least i was - not at the moment as i recover from bloody Covid)

I just trim with a men's beard trimmer and shave the stragglers. I've encountered the full range of male grooming - from very manscaped (i dont really like that tbh) to full male bush (much prefer). But ultimately who cares, its about the attraction and connection, not the pubes.
Dont overthink it, and definitely dont feel any pressure to wax it all off unless you really want to.

I wouldn't be worrying about that too much. Wait forat least the third date assess whether this person is worth your efforts in the topiary department.

I'd say go with what you feel most comfortable with. For me personally, that would be a very neat bikini line and a trimmed lady garden. I've also shaved clean before. Not because of current trends, it just felt comfortable at the time.

I think that the issue is your emotional readiness for dating rather than your grooming, OP.

The pleasant chap down the road is cordial to you and DC but you don’t fancy him, it seems. Fair enough, but dating him probably won’t go well when it comes to kissing and sex.

There are definitely men out there who’ll give you the heart-skip AND be decent to boot. And they won’t care about your shaving regime.

As I was a 70's baby born in 1970 I'd say it was absolutely fine. Done internet dating for a couple of years and saw a few lady gardens. I think anything goes!

Aw OP just do whatever you’re comfortable with and who cares what men think? Most men might have a preference but don’t really care and the ones who genuinely do, are not worth bothering with.

I prefer a shaved/trimmed on myself... however have spent most time with a full 70’s 😂 mainly because I’d let it grow during times of sexual famine, then have a date lined up and purposefully not trim because I thought this would mean I wouldn’t sleep with them immediately. That instead I’d be “good” due to the possible embarrassment of Brian may’s hairstyle betwixt the legs, and that when “it was time”, I’d think I’d shave it all off ready for this.

In reality it didn’t stop coitus from occurring, so this has meant that every relationship I’ve entered/first time having sex there has been a mega bush 😂😂 then I think “oh well bit late now” and just leave/think fk it as it’s too late to maintain any facade ... so to speak (and I’m very lazy wrt things like that - life is too short quite frankly).

I wish you every happiness - after an abusive relationship it can be so hard to trust and also to be unsure in what you think (ime as a result of being belittled or not listened to), it’s easy to believe the things the abuser has said/done. Please recover from/process the abuse before putting yourself in a situation you’re not ready for.

What I will say is this guy sounds nice so far, you mentioned that his attractiveness is mainly coming from inside, so if this is true and he is a good, kind man then a few pubic hairs would be a very superficial thing to turn him off. I know it does some men, but if any of the guys I allude to above had run a mile with the sight of “Brian May”, I would have done a pube head bang that such a basic, simple person had been avoided!

Also I find it strange that people obsess over the word 'vagina' being used in preference to all other words when 'vagina' refers to the internal portion that can't be seen (and definitely has no hair, so nobody can wax a vagina!!!!) when it's actually the vulva, perineum, peri-anal skin and pubis that we are talking about. Having to use all of those words every time is a ball-ache (waxing pun fully intended) so I have no problems with 'down there' as an abbreviation when everyone is clear what is being talked about.
It's probably just me though.

@BumholeJ
That's hilarious! 'brian may'
I have done this also, but when there is real chemistry all my pubic hairstyle inhibitions disappeared as well and it didn't stop things from happening

Back comb into a beehive and stick toy sunglasses on for the full retro look...you'll never be forgotten thats for sure ..

Given he's living in the same street, it would be a good idea to take this really, really slowly. If it goes belly up, the very last thing you need is him there as a constant reminder.

Well I’ve only spoken to him for about 6 months or so about work and bits. If I’m out in the front garden playing he will come over and have a chat. He did bring me a cake once which was nice. I’m not thinking it will go anywhere, he is 7 years younger then me and I probably have way too much baggage at the moment. It was just nice to speak to the opposite sex, especially during lockdown and they be nothing like my ex. Then it got to me thinking about other things.

Brian may’s hairstyle

😂😂😂

Love this!