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Relationships

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Original poster

friends warning me against dating a solicitor

69 replies

jinniefromtheblock · 26/08/2020 10:21

I've been dating a solicitor since the beginning of the year and one of my girlfriends told me to 'get out while I still can'. What does she mean by that? Do solicitors have a bad rep as long-term partners or something?

He seems like a nice, charming guy, very different to anyone I dated before. I'm very down-to-earth so I've dated mechanics, lorry drivers and musicians, but he's so proper and mature. Sometimes I do struggle to understand his vocabulary (hes super smart) and when we're with a bunch of friends he'll go into this political debates which all goes over my head. But other than that I don't see what the big issue is; he's always asking about the kind of music I'm into and we enjoy watching movies together (though he doesn't like my chick flicks).

Is there something I'm missing about solicitors?

OP posts:

ShyTown · 26/08/2020 22:43

Sometimes I do struggle to understand his vocabulary (hes super smart) and when we're with a bunch of friends he'll go into this political debates which all goes over my head.

He sounds like a complete bore, are you sure that’s not why your friend is encouraging you to chuck him? Have you asked her what she meant?

FunnysInLaJardin · 26/08/2020 22:55

I'm a solicitor. Most solicitors I know are very nice people. Generally reasonably clever, but that's what you would expect I suppose.

I would date a solicitor of they were nice, as it is I have married a teacher who is also nice.

pallisers · 26/08/2020 23:17

Are you sure she was warning you off him because he is a solicitor? Maybe it is for other reasons? I'm a solicitor as are many of my dear friends. There really isn't a type - and certainly not one you'd be warning someone off just because of the job.

Maybe she sees something in him and your interactions that worries her? Why not ask her why she said what she did?

Iamthewombat · 26/08/2020 23:21

HAHAHAHA. Yes, they are up there with Hell’s Angels, drug lords and Wayne Rooney as notoriously bad husbands.

As a PP said: WTF? I would have been quizzing your friend about her unique insights into the love lives of solicitors. When you find out, let us know, won’t you?

forumdonkey · 26/08/2020 23:33

Ohhhh OP they're human, you know. They're not an alien being!! Mine is an absolute sweetheart with a heart of gold and is funny, loving and kind.

There's long hours and he works hard ( currently out at work and will be most of the night) but with him, I'm the happiest I've ever been.

Glittergirl80 · 26/08/2020 23:45

I used to get that about my STBXH being a police officer as they were all cheats and sleeping with female cops. I never had any reason to think he was. It wasn't being a cop that caused us to split it was just him being an arsehole lol. If u have things in common and are happy don't listen to anyone else xx

Osirus · 27/08/2020 01:42

My husband is a solicitor. I rarely see him as he works long hours (gone 10pm some nights and lots of weekends).

He can be quite stressed with it all sometimes.

But he’s just a normal (that’s subjective of course 😁) person; like all the other solicitors.

Nicknamegoeshere · 27/08/2020 02:05

Well in that definitely avoid teachers - the hours are often ridiculous and the pay is pretty crap (compared to that of a solicitor!)

Alongcameacat · 27/08/2020 02:18

Maybe she sees something in him and your interactions that worries her? Why not ask her why she said what she did?

My guess is it is this.

It could be she hears her dear old friend saying how she isn’t as clever as her new boyfriend or sees that you think you are in some way inferior and she is unhappy about that. And please don’t confuse a well educated person as being brighter than you. They are two different things!

NeverTwerkNaked · 27/08/2020 07:54

@Nicknamegoeshere depends on the type of solicitor. Solicitors doing some types of work earn very meagre salaries but still work incredibly hard and long hours.

lyralalala · 27/08/2020 07:59

Sometimes I do struggle to understand his vocabulary (hes super smart) and when we're with a bunch of friends he'll go into this political debates which all goes over my head.

How does he react when it goes over your head? Is he patronising? Does he do it often?

Do his political debates take over the evening with your friends? Is he pushy with his opinions or is it naturally flowing debates?

Have you asked your friend if it's solicitors in general you shouldn't date or this particular one?

Lexilooo · 27/08/2020 08:58

@Nicknamegoeshere

Again, only some solicitors in some sectors. I worked with a solicitor who had previously qualified as a teacher, he went back to teaching as the money was better and he liked the holidays. I also worked with a solicitor who had previously qualified as a nurse, she returned to nursing as the pay was better.

For several years my pay lagged behind my secondary school teacher friend's.

Not all solicitors work in magic circle firms, but they drastically skew the average salaries.

Aminuts23 · 27/08/2020 11:23

There are some very judgy comments about solicitors here. I’m a solicitor. I don’t earn fortunes as I do child protection legal aid work. It’s harrowing work and long hours but as a profession most people I know who I work with are empathetic, kind and also quite funny. I think people assume we are all middle aged, know it all, wankers. Totally untrue (although there are some 😂).

JudyGemstone · 27/08/2020 13:09

I wouldn't want to divorce one!

Also I was watching Indian Matchmakers and a lawyer (US) on there said she wouldn't date another lawyer. So it's obviously a thing of sorts.

perfumeistooexpensive · 27/08/2020 13:14

I married one. The divorce was horrific.

Paris14eme · 27/08/2020 13:30

I’m a solicitor married to a solicitor for 23 years. I have petitioned for divorce because he has always put me and our family as second to his career. And when he’s not working it’s watching sport on tv. Our arguments were epic (he likes to have the last word) and because I scaled back my career for the sake of our 4 children he has actually referred to me and our family as a “ cost centre”. Maybe it’s just my STBXH but he is not a team player, puts himself first always and is hugely materialistic and worried about his image, above all else. He’s also crap with children and has zero interest in their lives, gets really, really impatient with them because he’s used to colleagues and clients doing as he says and pronto. I’ve tried very hard to make it work but I’m worn out with it all now so I have finally thrown in the towel. I’m not tarring all solicitors with the same brush and I used to work all hours myself in London-but once I got married I always tried to put the marriage/ family first. I don’t think solicitors make great husbands no, I really don’t.But maybe I’ve just been unlucky.

fuandylp · 27/08/2020 13:40

@JudyGemstone

I wouldn't want to divorce one!

Also I was watching Indian Matchmakers and a lawyer (US) on there said she wouldn't date another lawyer. So it's obviously a thing of sorts.

Well she didn't really seem to want to date anyone really, to be fair. Or if she did she was making it nigh on impossible because lawyers weren't the only people she didn't want to date!

Lightline · 27/08/2020 15:31

I’m a solicitor I would imagine it’s the working hours, it is all consuming work. Other than that we have a bad rep in general, unfairly since I think.

Lightline · 27/08/2020 15:31

*so

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