If your phone bill was suddenly sky high and your DH was hiding the bills......

[Theclosetpagan]

What would you be thinking?

We are with Tiscali and our bills were around £20 a month but the last two have been for nearly £80 each. DH being very evasive when I talk about the bills - he's not sure where they are etc etc.
He gets the post 3 days a week as I am working and they've obviously come in on days when I work and after I've left the house.
We are on the Anytime Talk plan so only premium rate numbers should bump it up (+ mobiles of course) but £80!!

DH is working away tonight and tomorrow but is telling me not to worry about it.

All I can think is "WTF is he up to"?

Have tried to access the bill online but can't.

Am about to ring Tiscali and ask for duplicate bills.

Let him stew until the morning and/or just send a reply that says "We'll talk when you get back"

To be honest he must be addicted, on some level, because it would be obvious that you were going to find out. If you run up big bills to chatlines on an account that's held in your wife's name then you are not going to get away with it. So he can't have been operating entirely rationally.

Your GP may be able to refer him for some counselling if he is serious about wanting to tackle the problem.

Its a pretty big thing to be told and i don't think it needs am immediate response if you aren't ready, take your time think about how it makes you feel and what you want to say to him - sleeping on it (or not as the case may be!) doesn't mean you love him any less it just means you will have time to sort your head out a bit

Am so glad he has told you the truth. I think you can get through this - he has problems - but you can help each other. I really feel touched by his owning up to you like this.

I can completely understand the impact this has on you, TCP - but if you can, listen to VVVQ's advice,

He has been honest, now, with you. That means a lot. He is also telling you that he has problems - you are not the only one. And he isn't the first person to be adddicted to chat lines. I am addicted to MN in ways which i wish I wsan't, tbh.

Take a deep breath - i am sure he loves you very much. Maybe you could both go to counselling when he gets back - about his betrayal of your trust in his addiction.

This must be rally painful, but he hasn't had an affair, he hasn't tried to hide it from you now (many men would still be claiming innocencee or ignoraance or some unlikely story), and it sounds as if you have a lot of love between you.

Thank you to everyone who gave support and advice last night.
I haven't replied to the e-mail but there have been a couple of text messages back and forth. Not sure how it's going to be when we see each other face to face.
I just feel embarrassed about it all. He called it his "grubby little secret" and tbh I have to agree - although I haven't told him that yet.
I have told him that I love him but feel shocked and numb.
The phone is now blocked for premium rate numbers but there is a code for bypassing this which only I will know.
What do men get from these chat line things?
I am fairly open minded and flexible enough to know that with the advent of the internet there will be porn freely available. I can actually accept that most men look and that this "interest" is fairly normal. I can't understand the chatlines though I really can't.

Sad thing is that we have been really broke in the last few months and yet nearly £100 has gone on these calls. He says he'll pay it back into my account and I know that it could be an awful lot more so am trying to be philosophical.

I hope you can both get through this and you know we're all here for support {{{{{{hugs}}}}}

WEll, we all cock up sometimes, don't we. I think it's really positive that he has told you honestly. He sounds like a good man to me

Agree - he has cocked up this time. He is a good man on the whole.

Have spoken with him on the phone now and it all feels a bit better. I appreciate the fact that he was honest with me. Anyway - he is paying a wadge of cash into my account tomorrow to cover the bills and a bit extra. Then he is taking me out for lunch - not anywhere too fancy as we will have DS with us - but somewhere so I don't have to cook.

How's it going Closet?

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