I don’t know what to do. I have no ‘place’ :(

[Catswithtails]

Finding myself single mid thirties and living in a commuter town, I am so lost. We are on a work from home basis now indefinitely, unless we want to go in a couple of days a week. I feel like an idiot living here for no reason, no community, no ties, among very young professionals rather than people my age, next to a train station I will use very infrequently now. I have friends scattered all over the place so usually travel to see them and they travel to see me. None of them live round here and none of them are in the same place. Why I am even here? Me and ex dp planned to move on and buy somewhere to settle in. That’s down the pan so now I’m just here like some freak on my own.

I have nowhere to move to that I belong. The only other option is going more remote to where I grew up, closer to family, same distance from all my friends as I would be here. But then what? Just live in a little village and see my mum every few days? Would that even change how lost I feel. I don’t know.

My job takes up much of my life and I like it. I have hobbies that I enjoy etc but this is about where I live and belong. Which seems to be nowhere. At 35. I feel like a nothing person and don’t belong anywhere. I just don’t know what to do, it is like I am existing in this place with no real ties and no heart to it.

@Catswithtails have you thought about having fertility treatment and having a child independently? If you want to settle down you may well end up with someone not suitable as your biological clock is ticking and you rush into it.

Whilst Dd sees her Dad regularly for daytime visits I do 99% of the parenting and once your past the sleep deprivation of the early years it's been a real pleasure. I think doing it alone is alot easier in many instances because you aren't reliant (or feeling resentful) of a partner and can do things your way.

Adoption is also an option but many adopted children have significant trauma or medical needs that require someone at home full time to provide adequate support and cover appointments which isn't great if you are a single parent and need to work.

OP you're still young you have plenty of time to meet someone and have the life you want.

It sounds like you were ready to move area anyway when you sit up with EXDP. Just continue the search you were doing and go for it. You're clearly not happy with where you live so start making plans to change that. Take the 'man' out of the equation for now and go where makes you happy.

This move doesn't have to be your forever home. Think of it as the place that makes you happy for now.