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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Are you truely happy and in love

31 replies

Stuck1 · 20/08/2020 16:34

Just that really. How many people in long term relationships/marriages feel truely happy in the relationship and feel in love with the other half? Is it actually possible?

OP posts:
AmandaHugenkiss · 20/08/2020 17:16

What’s your definition of long term? I’m approaching 5 years, cohabitating, and yes I’m truly happy and still very much in love. Couldn’t have honestly said that in other relationships though; even with the love there was unhappiness to some degree.

AnneLovesGilbert · 20/08/2020 17:20

Yes. Very much so.

ProfYaffle · 20/08/2020 17:21

Yes. 20 years together, still very happy, still in love.

AryaStarkWolf · 20/08/2020 17:28

been with DH 17 years and yes absolutely, never regretted marrying him a day in our life

Nicolastuffedone · 20/08/2020 17:41

Yes! Absolutely! I know on here people scoff at the idea of soulmates, I care not a not! I’ve been so lucky to find mine.......he is definitely the only man for me, they broke the mould after him

MrsR87 · 20/08/2020 17:47

Yes! 100%. Together for 15 years and married for 7. Expecting our first child. So so happy and love my DH more than anything. We have both loved having the opportunity to spend more time together during lockdown and agree it’s brought us even closer. Sorry if that sounds very soppy but that’s really how I feel.

GreenDays557 · 20/08/2020 17:56

Is this just a thread for people who are happy and in love? Surely the balance lies in getting both sides? Everyone that has actually answered this thread has said yes. I'll cheer up some of the no's out there and say absolutely not. I am not happy and I have been in love and had long term relationships that I've tried very hard to work. I'm glad there are people who have said yes out there though, but it's wasn't like that for me.

Batshittery · 20/08/2020 18:10

Yes. 30 years together

BluePaintSample · 20/08/2020 18:12

Green the relationships board is full of unhappy people. Not many post how happy they are, after all most people posting are either looking for how to handle a situation (never a good one) or questioning why someone does something.

Stuck in answer to your question. Yes, very much so. I have been married to Dh for almost 21 years. We laugh every day together, as do our teenage sons. Marriage takes work, effort, consideration of others but not so much that it feels like a job.

Onesailwait · 20/08/2020 18:15

@GreenDays557 There are plenty of threads on here full of people taking about shitty relationships.

Colourmeclear · 20/08/2020 18:15

I love my DP very much but he is not flawless (neither am I). We are both generous in understanding eachother and our intentions. If his flaws became intolerable or the generosity was lost, then I would reconsider but for now it's all good 9 years in. 🙂

Original poster
Stuck1 · 20/08/2020 18:22

It’s lovely to hear to many people are happy! It’s restoring my faith x

OP posts:
gingercat02 · 20/08/2020 18:25

Yep! Together for 24 years married for 18 in a couple of weeks wouldn't be without him most of the time

GreenDays557 · 20/08/2020 18:29

I wasn't complaining about the happy relationships, I was asking if it was just happy relationships that should answer. That's all. I'm glad that people are happy.

LuluJo1020 · 20/08/2020 18:34

No. I'm wondering where I can install a patio with a rather large man shaped lump under it in a 2nd floor flat

harriethoyle · 20/08/2020 18:34

Yes! It was a total coup de foudre and he completes a part of me that I didn't even know I was missing before we met

ShellsAndSunrises · 20/08/2020 18:35

Yes. I wouldn’t want to live without him and I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life.

Had my fair share of shit relationships to get here, but it’s all been worth it!

Isadora2007 · 20/08/2020 18:36

I’ve been in a bad marriage before and now after 13 years marriage to my new husband (not so new I guess now) we really are happy and in love and so very lucky to have found each other.

sitckmansladylove · 20/08/2020 18:38

12 years. Neither of us perfect but married and happy 80 percent of the time. But I don't think I would be fully happy with anyone it I am honest.

Nicolastuffedone · 20/08/2020 18:41

Well the question was are you truly happy and in love......it could be answered either way!

GreenDays557 · 20/08/2020 18:47

@Nicolastuffedone

Thank you, that was my thinking too. I think it's a thread for yeses though. Which is nice.

minnie465 · 20/08/2020 18:49

Yes I love DH very much. He is my best friend. A true gent.

MilleniumHallsWalledGarden · 20/08/2020 18:58

Yes, truly happy and in love. It's been 17 years so far.

buenavistabelle · 20/08/2020 19:01

Yes 16 years and still in love

LookToTreblesGoingTreblesGone · 20/08/2020 19:03

33 years, and no, not so much.
I feel he's more like a friend than a husband.
About 4 years ago I did toy with the idea of leaving and then he got a rare incurable cancer which knocked that on the head. I suppose people could say that I shouldn't stay just because of that but it's not that simple.