Boyfriend wanted to see how I write so I showed him a paper, he responds like this?

[driventodistractionk]

Boyfriend wanted to see my personal writing style, showed him a paper from Uni that I told him I got a really good mark in and he said "Seems pretty comprehensive" with a smiley face.

I feel like I was expecting a bit better of a compliment.

He's very complimentary otherwise.

I'm surprised everyone thinks it's a weird question. How you write, even academically, is a part of who you are. Maybe he was just interested in seeing that side of you, even if the content was not that exciting. I like reading what my DH had written, even though I don't understand most of it. I don't get to see his academic side very often - the side he shows to his colleagues - so it's really interesting to me. Like the way so many people WFH got to see their partner's work personality and were either impressed or horrified!

I don't think it's a weird question. What I think weird is OP's reaction to his comment and thinking so much about it that she had to start a thread about this. Each to their own though.

He sounds a bit up himself then! Yep.

Has he asked you to read any of his work yet?

He probably didn't read it.

Silliest answer so far

@WaltzfortheMars

I don't think it's a weird question. What I think weird is OP's reaction to his comment and thinking so much about it that she had to start a thread about this. Each to their own though.

In fairness it's often a bit of a sense check to ask for other people's reactions - isn't that what AIBU is for?

Ask him to send you something he wrote.
Otherwise he is putting himself into a position of power.
He set up an opportunity where he is the 'expert' and you are the lesser person waiting upon his judgement of you.
Now you are disappointed when the Master only gave you a crumb from his table.

In fairness it's often a bit of a sense check to ask for other people's reactions - isn't that what AIBU is for?

Probably. But this thread is in Relationships

Hmmm......I found it interesting that you even posted such a harmless issue here. Is there more to this relationship that meets the eye? You might be over-sensitive, or, as a high achieving, anxious personality type, you feel like you need constant praise otherwise it makes you feel insecure (this could back to childhood experiences or it could just be your personality).

His comment might be completely innocent, but watch out for guys who like to do some 'negging'. It's designed to make you feel small, inadequate, and to make you feel like you always need to try harder and reach higher in order to please and impress them.

Some people are quite competitive too - he might have wanted to see what you wrote because he feels threatened or secretly jealous of how good you are and he said that 'quite comprehensive' remark because he didn't want to reveal how impressed he was by your work.

Or.....he simply didn't read most of it and wanted to design a generic compliment on the spot that made him sound like he had!! 'Seems pretty comprehensive', would certainly fit that I think!

@Bluesheep8

In fairness it's often a bit of a sense check to ask for other people's reactions - isn't that what AIBU is for?

Probably. But this thread is in Relationships

That's what I thought.

Oops - the 'That's what I thought.' comment was meant for a different comment.

I think the whole interaction is slightly bizarre to be honest.

I suspect he was just being polite in asking to read it and when he received it realised he couldn't be arsed to read the whole thing. He then said it was "comprehensive" because he couldn't think of anything else to say.

I think in the nicest possible way unless he's studying the exact same subject as you you're a bit daft to expect any more direct engagement on this though: what do you expect him to say? And as someone else has said, a compliment isn't something you expect. It's an added bonus if it comes but shouldn't be sought after.

I think you're probably reading too much into it.

You both sound very young.

What were you expecting him to say? If he'd gushed about how great it was, would that have been meaningful in any way? He's not your tutor, so his opinion is irrelevant.

Moral of the story - don't seek validation from your boyfriend's opinion of your uni work.

What were you hoping he would say?
“I particularly liked the way you structured your argument in paragraph 7, and I would never have thought to use “eschew” in that context, will make a note of that for future essays.”

was this post written by a seven year old?

Come on, time to mature.

sadie9
Ask him to send you something he wrote.
Otherwise he is putting himself into a position of power.
He set up an opportunity where he is the 'expert' and you are the lesser person waiting upon his judgement of you.
Now you are disappointed when the Master only gave you a crumb from his table.

This. It sounds like a technique from a dating guru that teaches men how to dominate women.

When dh was doing his doctorate I told him the graphs he had looked like little monsters peeling over a wall. He asked me to show, so I took an old one and adapted it for him. He was never able to unsee it. grin

I'm making some graphs right now. I can just picture it

I think comprehensive sounds like a compliment, though if he was reading yours to get formatting/style ideas he might be able to find examplers online in his uni library for his subject. I love looking at exemplars to see how everyone does their formatting/fonts/if anyone uses colour!

Yes. He has to show you his work now. Mark it and say that according to your Algorithm he has not done as well as expected

Call me Brian Sewell, but I would not accept literary criticism punctuated with a smiley face emoji.