Blocking: Is it empowering or giving them the power?

[LilMissRe]

I'm in two minds about it.

What are your opinions?

It’s empowering. Cutting off someone’s access to you is the most powerful move you can make.

For me blocking a contact (whoever it is) isn't about power, it's about choosing peace.

For me to block someone means I'm pretty much deleting them from my life, blocking them is the final step to make sure I don't have to deal with any more messages/calls from them. I couldn't care less how they view being blocked.

Blocking someone is taking control of what access they have to you. Its certainly not giving them power, it’s taking away their power to access you through that channel.

I agree with all this, but wouldn't it on some level tell them that they were significant enough to piss you off? (this is my ego talking)

and would you block guys you've only spoken to briefly on the phone and never met, if they ghosted, or just delete them?

It is only worth the bother of blocking someone if you think they will attempt to contact you or browse your SM and you do not want that.

If you are considering blocking as a passive aggressive way of punishing them, don't. Either tell them straight you are pissed off or do nothing.

Empowering

I think it suggests they've got under your skin. I'm of the view that just ignoring someone suggests that you don't care, so if I split up with my boyfriend I wouldn't block him. I would probably reduce contact.

If it was someone I hadn't met and they had said something offensive or sent a dick pic I would block without replying.

It is was just someone I'd been chatting to who had done nothing wrong, just not been very interesting, I would think it a bit harsh to block them so would let the conversation die naturally.

Well it depends what sort of thing they’re contacting you with. If it’s just inane stuff trying to get some attention from you, I could ignore without blocking but some people have been sent death and rape threats, threats of what will happen to their children, photos of gruesome or pornographic images. That’s stuff can really affect you even if you never respond to it so you’re better to block it. Regardless of whether it lets the sender know they’ve gotten to you.

@Smallsteps88

Well it depends what sort of thing they’re contacting you with. If it’s just inane stuff trying to get some attention from you, I could ignore without blocking but some people have been sent death and rape threats, threats of what will happen to their children, photos of gruesome or pornographic images. That’s stuff can really affect you even if you never respond to it so you’re better to block it. Regardless of whether it lets the sender know they’ve gotten to you.

Absolutely! I would definitely block in the circumstance. How awful can some people be sending things like that. No doubt it can traumatise for some time.

I don't assume blocking means someone is causing you emotion or whatever, it's just a tool to ensure you don't have to unexpectedly deal with a fuckwit in future and to reduce the possibility of someone turning stalker.

It's more efficient than simply deleting/ignoring.

I take it as a sign of somebody being removed from your headspace. Surely going to the effort of ignoring unwanted messages in order to "show" they're not taking up headspace (which is you trying to communicate a message to them still!) takes up more headspace and shows you're more invested in what they think of you than you claim!

Unless you announce it dramatically as some sort of flounce or start blocking/unblocking to get a reaction. That's different.

Also, getting a message notification should be positive not repeatedly irritating when it turns out to be from the person you're putting on a performance of ignoring.

If you have to filter out fuckwits from your notifications or repeatedly deal with that disappointment slump of the message you received being from an idiot it's demoralising. (Or worst case scenario the distress caused by harassment/threats/stalking).

Life has enough rubbish stuff already without unnecessarily setting aside space in your life for more of it!

It's about what is best for you. It doesnt matter what they think.
My ex rang me "accidentally" and it upset me as he has dumped me and doesnt want to be with me and I'm trying to move on. So I've now blocked him because it means no more surprise calls or texts that would upset me.
If I didnt care i wouldnt need to block him.
If he realises I've blocked him I'm sure he will know why. Its not rude or anything aggressive towards him I'm just protecting myself and moving on with my life.
Maybe not blocking him would be the strongest thing but who cares. I'm doing what I know is best for me.

It's very, very empowering, or so I've found. It gives us power, not them. It's not giving them power, it's saying we won't put up with their shit anymore, we deserve better.

I don't think it's about being THAT pissed off.

It's about not giving them your time, not even that fraction of a second it takes to see who the message is from and actively ignoring it/deleting it. They're not worth it, I can't be arsed. If you've never met them it literally deletes them from your life.

I've deleted everyone I don't like from my social media. Haven't analysed it - I just don't want them in my life.

I blocked my ex because I'm still in love with him and blocking him helps me not to contact him in tears every evening!
I don't feel particularly empowered by it but at least when I go to text him it says he's blocked and I would have to make an active choice to unblock and message him.

I don't feel empowered by it; to me it is as practical as a mosquito net.

It means that if they phone you, you won't accidentally answer without thinking.
It means that if you try to message or call them after a few drinks you won't. guess how I know this
On SM, they can't look you up.
On email it will go to junk.

Apart from phone calls, it isn't obvious that they were looking at you or trying to contact you, and the less you are reminded about their existence the better.

*I've deleted everyone I don't like from my social media. Haven't analysed it - I just don't want them in my life.

Is the right answer.

I made a decision several years ago to stop contact with people who made my life more difficult then it needed to be and focus on the people who were genuine friends. It seemed drastic but there were just too many toxic people knocking about who were dragging me into their self created dramas or who did not have my best interests at heart. I used to be terribly sentimental over some friendships due to the time I had known these people until I realised they were just not very nice folk. As a result my life is a hell of a lot better.

To me it is neither. It's just, as others have said, a way to be at peace and a protection from dickheads. It involves as little emotion as turning on a burglar alarm.

And if the burglar thinks 'ooh, that means she's scared of me and I'm controlling her actions', guess what? I don't care. Same with blocking.

Have a look at Runninginrain's threads

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3835502-Dumped-by-text-part-2

They're very instructive

Thanks for your replies everyone! There are some really interesting points of view here
Will check out the link given

I think it gives them power- it looks like you are very affected by them. That’s what I think anyway, when men have blocked me in the past I’ve thought ‘oh he really was bothered, why else block me?’ Otherwise most people just ignore/say go away essentially (IMO)