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Original poster

Boyfriend and friend flirting

61 replies

AlyssaE · 10/08/2020 09:27

Hi there

Little bit of a long story but hopefully someone can help. Basically my friend, who is one of my very best friends, has been very flirty with my boyfriend and I’m not sure if I can move on from it this time.

At Christmas me and my boyfriend were not getting along and they got very close at that time. They were always messaging eachother a million hearts (which I’m going to admit I checked out of concern) and when they were drunk he let her suck drugs off his fingers(?!) and they were always very touchy feely including her jumping up and wrapping her leg around him. Anyway I spoke to him and he agreed it had gotten too far and that he would not do those things anymore. During corona we had a natural break from seeing her and only just started seeing her again. We met up with him on Friday and he was at a bachelor party and was very drunk when we got there. This resulted in him lying his head on her lap, them holding hands, her kissing him very close to his mouth and repeatedly stroking him when he was sat with her. I feel pretty betrayed. I told him to stop many times during the night but he was too drunk to care. When I was away at Christmas they hung out alone until 5am in our apartment and he always claimed
Nothing happened..now I don’t know. What the hell do I do? It’s so complicated and I feel massively sad and disrespected...again.

OP posts:
Shizzlestix · 13/08/2020 12:45

Dump. They have trampled all over your boundaries.

GazingAndGrazing · 13/08/2020 12:47

27/27 people have said get rid

What are you going to do op?

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 13/08/2020 12:51

Dump. Both of them.

sallievp · 13/08/2020 12:54

Get some self respect and dump both of them!!!!
This is not how a boyfriend or a friend behaves.
Don't you deserve better???

Ardsallagh · 13/08/2020 12:55

It doesn't sound remotely complicated to me. Neither of them is interested in what you think, and you should terminate both their roles as your 'best friend' and 'boyfriend' forthwith.

Anydreamwilldo12 · 13/08/2020 12:58

Come on OP, they're taking the piss right in front of your face.
She's no friend and he's a massive twat.

Spidey66 · 13/08/2020 13:01

I think you need to raise the bar as far as boyfriends are concerned. Your only other posts here were from a couple of years ago. I assume it's about a now ex boyfriend but still.....

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3269555-Found-naked-pictures-on-bf-computer

rc22 · 13/08/2020 13:16

Dump them both.

badacorn · 13/08/2020 13:21

Both deserve to get ghosted

BertiesLanding · 13/08/2020 13:45

What do you get out of feeling awful, @AlyssaE?

Is it something you've become used to?

Do you want things to be different?

HollowTalk · 13/08/2020 13:47

Get rid of both - they are both losers who are trampling over your boundaries and showing you no respect whatsoever.

BarbedBloom · 13/08/2020 15:44

I think if they are that comfortable in public then they have probably already slept together. The fact he laid his head on her lap when you were there says it all.

AryaStarkWolf · 13/08/2020 15:52

dump them both and cut them out of your life

DiscordandRhyme · 13/08/2020 15:53

Yep they have no concern for your feelings whatsoever.

Sassanacs · 13/08/2020 16:11

Suck drugs off his fingers... grim.

I don't know how old you all are but this sounds like really immature and shitty behaviour.

I'd get rid of both of them tbh

Bluntness100 · 13/08/2020 16:13

What do you mean what do you do? You dump them both. Him first.

How old are you? It sounds all a bit teenage.

Bluntness100 · 13/08/2020 16:15

Blimey, you’re in your thirties? Is this the same guy as last time?

Holothane · 13/08/2020 16:16

Jaw drops, get rid of both you deserve better, hugs.

Timekeeper2 · 13/08/2020 16:40

Firstly, for it to happen not once but twice, she is not your friend, she is your enemy.

Secondly he does drugs?!?? And you STAYED with him? Are you doing drugs too, so that is why that seems to be no big deal to you? The minute any boyfriend of mine did drugs, just that once, I'd walk out the door and never return. Why would you want to be with a junkie? And why would you have someone who is CLEARLY trying to come between you and said junkie as a 'friend' let alone best friend? For it to happen twice? Fool you twice. They both sound like scum. Leave them to it. They deserve each other.

monkeymonkey2010 · 13/08/2020 23:07

friends don't behave like this OP - or boyfriends who claim to care about you.

I had a friend from school days who behaved like this, always sober when she did it - and she did it in front of her longterm partner.
I dumped her - and the group of 'friends' who never spoke up or defended me after i called her out on it and she went into 'poor me' mode.

seensome · 13/08/2020 23:32

Tell yourself they are welcome to each other, ditch them both and find someone better.

RLEOM · 13/08/2020 23:52

He's a prick and she's no mate of yours. They're pulling the wool over your eyes and both of them are treating you like a mug. I've had this done to me before (I'd just had his baby), they eventually became official but swear nothing was going on - hardly something they'd admit! They'd flirt constantly in front of me. It broke me.

Please just put your bags down, leave and never look back. No doubt they'll become official in time.

Ilovechoccake · 14/08/2020 00:14

So it’s clear he’s cheating with her tbh x

Aerial2020 · 14/08/2020 00:21

She is no friend of yours.
He is no partner of yours.

Ooooosh · 14/08/2020 00:27

My ex was like this with other women and I used to try and compete for his attention. It was awful, I was naive and had very low self esteem. I would never let anybody do that to me again I’m worth so much more than that (just like you!) they’re both bloody awful so get rid of the pair of them. It will hurt for a little while but time heals and you are so much better off alone than with this prick.