Aaaaw Vanay Im feeling for you. The problem you've got is that you're fighting with biology - you loved him, and he's been taken away from you, and the pain is real.
The pain we feel is associated with real pain. (I heard that if you took asprin or similar, it can numb your pain. Ive never tried it, but the point being your emotional pain is associated with physical).
Its your attachment that's causing you to feel like you are, and that all down to biology - how we're made to ensure we survive.
You see John Bowlby, a psychologist came up with the attachment theory that explains when we are with a partner we have the best chance of survival, because the reassurance that human get from having someones back, from feeling 'filled up' with their love: makes us feel we can move mountains, tackle anything in life, give us inner peace.
Unless as John Bowlby points out, you were raised by unresponsive parents, which can rub off on the child and effects them in adulthood - making them avoidant.
The feelings you are experiencing are just like a child who is crying for his mummy. So imagine a toddler in a room with mummy and a stranger, mummy leaves and child is notices. It will cry for its mummy. Then mummy comes back in and everything is good again.
Its the same thing. Dependency. Its in us as a child, and it stays with is.
Many experts say being on your own is good, but our biology begs to differ.
Evidence shows oeople live 35% longer when they are in a 'happy' relationship'. People with high blood pressure had their readings done, when their partner held their hand or were in close proximity the reading dropped.
Numerous other studies have proved that when someone feels 'filled up' with love from their partner, they are more than likely to become successful in their careers
So my point in all of this is that the pain you're feeling is absolutely normal, and nothing what we tell you will numb your pain.
Your survival clock is ticking away.
So why don't you look at it from another angle. Why don't you write a list of all the reasons why this guy would be bad for you.
On that list it could be: he's a cheat. He Will cheat on you
His cheating ways will make you feel invaluable. He will knock the stuffing out of your self esteem. What a crap life that would leave to.
He will lower your self esteem which will have a knock on effect on your job etc
You'd never trust him, and so you would turn into a jealous person. Not your fault at all. He will have made you that way.
These are starters. But the point being focus on 'Why' he would be so bad for you, rather than focus on something you have lost.
Pat yourself on the back too for fishing out the dead meat so early on, things could have been so much worse, he could have been having an affair with you for years until you got to find out.
Have a good cry, get it out, but if you're still crying in a week, maybe look in the mirror and talk to yourself a bit tougher.
You say you cant remember his wife's name, can you look on your web browsing history?
And Im not sure on this myself, but if he has children, is it the right or wrong thing to do letting the wife in on it.
If she didnt have kids Id be like yeah sock it to her.
But there's kiddies here who could potentially go through absolute turmoil.
Having said that, its better to come from a broken home than live in one.
Hope you can wipe those tears soon.
Big hugs xx