Hi, I have a a few friends whose children are in my DD's class at school. There is one Mum who I am around a lot, and we behave like close friends, but I'm finding the friendship very stressful and I don't know how to get away.
The problem is that both of our two children are best friends. Our sons are about to start school together in September. Over lockdown, I started to feel better and decided that I would try to meet up with a couple of other Mums over the holidays and be a bit more distant with her in September. However, she came round my house yesterday, and I feel straight back into feeling anxious. I know it's not going to work.
The trouble is that she's overly (fake) kind, and her kids make my kids stuff all the time. So I'm always in the 'grateful' position. She wants to know everything I'm doing - asking me which kids we've met up with, when I'm home/away, etc. She tells me vague info about what she's doing to hide that she's meeting up with loads of the DDs and DS classmates. Although sometimes she will choose to show off about particular connections. She sees it as a competition.
I can't make a friendship with another Mum whose kid is in my kids' class (or will also be starting in Sept), without her trying to 'take' that friend and then try to make me feel like that's her child's friend, not mine. I get left out of meet-ups. She wants me on my own, and to control who I see. She gets 'in' with everybody. It's all very high school.
She looked horrified when she found out that my DH has been meeting up with one of the Dads of a child in the September class, with children. I know she'll now be contacting the mother, and trying to make her, her friend. I went through this with my DD and now I'm going to go through it with my DS. I feel I can't escape her or make friends away from her, and as a result, I'm not looking forward to September!
Can anyone relate to this kind of situation please?