Taking the p#ss?

[RLEOM]

So I've just done a 40 minute journey to drop my 2 year old DD to her dad's. I'd stupidly done a workout before, drank lots of liquids, and consequently was busting for a wee when I turned up. And when I say busting, I mean on the verge of passing out because of the... what would you call it? Agony? My ex knows that my bladder isn't as great and always let me into his nan's if I ever dropped DD there and was busting, but I've never asked when dropping her to his flat, so very unusual for me to ask.

Ex could see I was busting (I didn't even say goodbye to my daughter) and that I felt ill because of it. I asked if I could use his toilet and he refused. I somewhat begged and he still refused. I left on feeling shaky and on the verge of tears. Had a semi-accident in the car before finding a toilet. I ended up crying with embarrassment.

I'm livid and hurt by him denying a basic human need. Do I say anything when he drops her off later? Am I right to be upset?

Sorry that's just horrible. Hugs

What an absolute cunt!
Who would do that?
No wonder he is your Ex!
Well done on ridding yourself of this horrible man.
I wouldn't say anything.
Nothing at all.
No conversation.
Take your DD, give him the death stare and slam the door in his face!
Does he ever come into your home?

@hellsbellsmelons yes, I let him in the house if he wants to carry our daughter in when she's sleepy, or I let him come round if she's ill. I've never refused him entry, even if the place has been in a mess.

He is a very messy person, so maybe he was embarrassed? Or maybe he had a woman round? Who knows? Either way, it was a nasty and selfish thing to deny me the use of a toilet.

When he comes back don't let him in.
Actually, don't let him in again.
If he queries it then you have your response.

I think if he can't allow access to a toilet if you need it then he's responsible for his own darn pick ups and drop offs from now on...

Easy, don’t drop off again

@hellsbellsmelons @CrystalMaisie @RealMermaid

So I am right to feel as upset and hurt? I wasn't sure if it was more the case of it being fine because it is his property and the fact that it's my own responsibility to cater for my own toiletry needs?

What an arse. I wouldn't allow him into your home again. Me and my ex aren't best friend's, but he's allowed me in to use the bathroom before, as have i when his car has broken down ect. There was no need to do what he did.

I wasn't sure if it was more the case of it being fine because it is his property and the fact that it's my own responsibility to cater for my own toiletry needs?
OP - come on!!!!!
He's a nasty bastard for doing that to you!
It doesn't even matter if he had a woman round - i'm assuming she would be dressed and 'decent' seeing as he knew his child was coming round?
It's as though he wanted you to suffer.....

@monkeymonkey2010 it's funny you should say that because when he had an affair after our DD was born, it was in front of me in our home. He'd rest his head on her boobs whilst looking at me. It was the weirdest and most disrespectful behaviour I've ever experienced.

He eventually became official with the other woman and changed his profile picture to her cradling our baby. So, yeah, lovely man.

Why are you dropping her off, if he wants to see her, he needs to pick her up and take her back. If he can't be reasonable why should you be. Don't let him in again.

That was so mean OP. I think you should of took your daughter and just left. Don’t go out of your way doing the drops off let him figure it out.

Horrible nasty behaviour by your Ex. I like @hellsbellsmelons idea re how you respond. And yes I'd stop letting him in to yours now. Might be a good idea to see if you can locate some toilets near his flat and his Nan's house so you never have to ask that nasty jerk again.

Oh my god what piece of work!! If you ever do get to go in there again please piss on his toothbrush.

Cunt.

Maybe if it was a woman, it was a woman you'd kick off at seeing with him.

If he'd let you in at his nan's, it's odd he wouldn't at his own place.

Anyhow, go to the loo first next time.

@Closetbeanmuncher 😂😂 as much as he deserves it, I just couldn't. Unless I washed it after? 😆

@category12 I went to the toilet twice before I left. I'd done a workout an hour prior to leaving and had consumed too much water during the workout. 😊

So, I gave him the cold shoulder when he turned up. No eye contact. Nothing other than smiles at my little one. I'm sure I'll be fine the next time I see him. 😐

I'd have pissed on his doormat.

Anyhow, go to the loo first next time.

I can go to the loo and be bursting to go again an hour later - I have the bladder capacity of an egg cup. I've had a wee and still been caught short. For those who have a bladder made of steel, I refer you to Frank Gallagher from Shameless.

What an arse. I would have pissed by his front door, if I could find a receptacle I'd pee into that and tip it over the door handle too

I can imagine my ex something like that. Heartless monster .

Just let him know that due to health issues (weak bladder) unfortunately you are unable to facilitate his contact with DD anymore, and he will have to pick her up himself.

Anyhow, go to the loo first next time
Ever had cystitis?

@RLEOM

Oh wow, I feel your pain, that is just bang out of order not letting you use the toilet. What a horrible man. During lockdown and with a distinct lack of available public toilets I ended up in this condition a few times and it is painful and overwhelming. Only good thing is you didn't have an accident on the way there. ( I might have). I think being so close to a bathroom and not being allowed to use it might have finished me off in the doorway! That would have been a story and a half.

I'm so sorry you went through that and I totally understand how upsetting it was. Xx

What a horrible thing to do.

Can he pick up your DC in future and don’t let him in

Why are you driving 40 minutes to drop off? Did the court order you to do that? If not, stop. It’s his access so his responsibility to transport his child.

My suggestions...1) never drop your DD of at his place again 2) never let him come inside your place again, under any circumstances. He’s a twat, shame you didn’t piss on his doorstep.