Husband no longer loves me / will this ever get easier

[Smith14590]

My husband left 2 weeks ago today...
he had been very cold and distant for a few weeks but I put it down to stress.
I was helping his mum out before he left and she kept dropping hints such as
“He never happy”
“Your friend went through heartbreak and got through it”
“It’s such a good job we don’t know what’s happening next in life”
I thought I was going crazy 🥺
So I called him at work a few hours later to ask if things were ok, for him to say “I’m not happy, I can’t do this anymore”
I feel so heartbroken, it’s just deeply upsetting and I cannot stop thinking.. “what could I have done differently” 🥺

I’m 28 and feel like my world is over!

Is there any positive stories?

It's so bloody excruciating I've never ever felt pain like it xxxx

Time is your friend Smith. You just don’t know any different having met him so young. Just allow time to heal. When you are going through this, you feel like the only person in the world it has happened to. You are amongst many. Just be kind to yourself and keep busy

The script: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1527705-Midlife-crisis-this-is-the-script

I messaged him today and his response was "just leave me alone"

I could have written this. Down to the 'best friends' and 'met at 15' stuff. I haven't seen him in years now, divorced around the same age as you.

I'm sooooo much happier now. It just takes time.

@MrsTerryPratchett

Really? What was you heartbroken at the time?

Horrifyingly heartbroken. I thought I'd never love anyone the same. And I missed my best friend, who of course I wanted to talk to about it.

But it was a co-dependent relationship, deeply unhealthy and it made me a worse human. So ultimately, it needed gone.

@MrsTerryPratchett

That's exactly like me really.

Sometimes I wonder if it was co dependent?

I just can't do anything it's been 5 weeks now - even going to my friends it takes sooo much energy and effort :( xxxx

It’s still early days for you, it’ll take a while but I promise you, you will get over this. Like a pp said, it really does feel like you are the only person to feel like this but you’re not. When I split with my ex after 19 years I had counselling, and I remember her saying that if nobody got over heartbreak then the whole world would be grieving. It takes time, but you will get through it quicker if you stop all contact with him. If you keep picking at the scab (by staying in contact) it will take a lot longer to heal. Keep talking to your friends and family and on here if it helps. You’ll be up and down for a while. I remember having a good couple of hours and then breaking down. Then it would be a good day, then a good couple of days and then it’s weeks and months and you realise you’re over it.

My husband left me last year and I was a broken mess for months. I was convinced I would never be happy again and I would never recover. People kept saying “time’s a great healer” and I didn’t believe them... but almost a year down the line I am so much happier and life is good again. I’m so sorry you’re going through this - it’s the most awful pain, but please know it WILL get easier.

@Ofgareth
Could I private message you

I honestly seem to be dreaming about him every single night at the moment

Hi op. Sorry you are going through this. You are still only 28 so that is good- you can start over and have a very good life with someone else.
Dont take this the wrong way- but you were together from 15. You both were children and never got to have other experiences before committing to just one person. I think these type of relationships never survive - I have seen too many examples of exactly this.
It is not surprising that he cheated, he wants to have those experiences.
By this point you have been together for 13 years but so young and only 28.
Make a clean break and go your separate ways, it seems like you grew apart which is sad but understandable.

@watermelon33 of course.

Smith, I'm so very sorry this has happened, again. But you said something that struck me-
It's so bloody excruciating I've never ever felt pain like it xxxx
and I have to wonder if you realize you have felt pain like this before. The first time he left and cheated. In fact I wonder which hurt more?
And suppose he comes back and you try to make it work, but he leaves again. Will it feel better or worse? It will definitely be familiar.

He's shown you how he really feels about your relationship, twice now. Believe him and find even a tiny bit of strength to help you detach. All of MN will help you. You've gotten a lot of good advice and I hope you'll follow through on it.

Letting go will be the hardest and most liberating thing you'll ever do.

@beenwhereyouare

I really have had some great advice, I think I just feel stuck at the moment xx

Bump