Don't know what to do

[sitckmansladylove]

Nothing serious really but dh and I are married 10 years. Things are happy and ok but life is mainly all about the dc. That's fine. We get on well but are different in that dh is a non drinker. Careful with money and quiet. I am quiet but like to 'live' a bit. Dh likes going to church his hobbies and so on. When we married it wasn't what I really expected. He was always visiting his parents and we never really had much fun I suppose. We did go on a holiday or two. At times I get very upset by stuff and he doesnt really react or seem bothered. Which makes it worse.

His mother is very quiet and passive and just gets on with life. I am quietly determined. Education is important and my career but I have fell into an old fashioned role I suppose (wife work). It's not that particular issue but it's there all the time. I don't feel overly happy and tonight I said to him I don't know what to think about it all (life / us) and he said he feels the same but what to you.. do life is like that.

So I left quietly and now don't know where this leaves us. I don't want to go home.

Yeah my ex was like that. Didn't see the point in just the 2 of us going out drinking and only went out for dinner because I am an unenthusiastic cook. I realised that I would never be ok with someone who I couldn't have as a friend.. because great though it is to go out with girlfriends sometimes you just want some fun with the man you love.

A nice dinner outside with some wine or whatever. It's hard to go out and see happy couples relaxing and know that won't be you. I suppose it's part of the dream you have, little breaks away, bit of a night out and a laugh, special dinners now and again. And also socialising with friends! Together.

Oh do enjoy!

It sounds like he needs things really spelt out for him. Or maybe he just doesn't grasp it with words, might have to have a weekend away to rekindle his memory!

Oh OP. I think it's bollocks what a pp said about how this is the reality of marriage and kids. It doesn't have to be like this at ALL! My DH has a really traditional mother and father and upbringing, but we share the housework and chores equally- we each take full responsibility for different aspects so there's NO nagging. You should read the book Fair Play and sit down and do the system with your husband.

If you don't want to do this then it might be better off you leaving him and baking sure the rest of your life contains happiness. Yes it is perfectly possibly to be in love, and happily married whilst having DC. Unfortunately you've tolerated this shit for too long, so no wonder he's become complacent. Time to be the architect of your own life and set the example to your DC that marriage doesn't have to be like this.

Good luck